hey there world!
so i was talking to my friend tonight and she told me that i give pretty good advice and that what i told her really helped her..which sparked the idea for me to make this lovely advice column..i'm here for anyone if you need me and i'll answer whatever questions you have (even if they dont fall under my "favorite catergories" or whatever..haha)....but basically, here is a quote to sum it all up (at least in my eyes)...i really love this quote!
"I say if you feel good with what you're doing, let your freak flag fly"
peace&love
Website: Let Your Freak Flag Fly =)
Gender: Female
Location: i'm from all around..i've moved around a lot =)
Member Since: December 14, 2006
Answers: 15
Last Update: January 4, 2007
Visitors: 2692
Main Categories:
Friendship
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theres this kid in my class that like sits across from me on a diff table (our tables face forward, and its two people per table) and like everyday if i glance at him or something, or he notices im there, he like grins at me or comes up to me and sings like a funny song, dances, or something. He's friendly and stuff, but what do I do back? All I do is smile.. or do I like bring up a conversation? ahh how do I do that without sounding like.. eager or just bad? lol Or sometimes he just stares at me for a long time smiling and im like "what?" and then he keeps staring... anything funny or witty or whatever that I should do back? Im not gonna stare at him back cuz that would look retarded. or is he making fun of me? i doubt it, though. (link)
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first of all, i think you should go with your gut...always! he is most definatly not just staring at you to make fun of you..there is obviously a reason and i'm sure its a positive one. my advice to you, would be to just go with the flow of the conversation...the only way to get to know someone better is to talk to them and spend time with them...so i would definatly encourage starting conversations with him..it is always nice to smile and ask how your day is going...it may seem like a really lame question, but i can promise you it isnt...it is a great conversation starter and a good way to show him you care..you know? just be sincere..which i'm sure you would be anyway..there is no way that you would sound eager or just bad...i promise...if he's looking at you to begin with, there is definatly something there for him...guys dont always realize how obvious they're being and girls dont always recognize it for what it is...if he's looking at you, by golly talk to him girl...you got this!..i'm sure that is what he wants you to do anyway..so work your magic..you've already charmed him to some extent... i'm always here for you! let me know how things go
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i have bad conversation skills with people i dont normally talk to alot... so the people who really get to be my friends have patience with me and stuff. is that a bad thing? i mean, im a good person and all.. but I kind of act differently in school than at home. im more easygoing at school but there.. I guess I get kinda tense, especially with tests, and peer pressure and stuff. also, some people who used to be like friends with me kind of left because of me not like bringing forth the relationship. but sometimes im awkward and just not having a good day perhaps, but i try to be optimistic.. cuz thats my nature. I'm 13 years old too. how can i get more friends? i mean, people say to be outgoing and kind and all that.. but that doesn't really help.. you know? maybe break it down to easier steps or something. cause you just cant tell someone to "talk to more people" its hard to come to those steps.. and them actually having effects. well with me... like nobody hates me from what I know of, but nobody is really like "shes my best friend!" (except for my actual bff) and stuff. i'd like to have more relationships with these people and others, too.
also, theres this popular girl in my class and for some reason my teacher made her sit next to me, along with another pretty popular class clown guy on my other side. im okay with the guy, except for what i wrote above. like he used to talk to me alot and junk when we first met and stuff, but now its like he kinda abandoned me.. and doesnt talk to me much, kinda. and the girl, shes real popular and sometimes i feel like i cant be myself or it feels weird or something. i mean.. its like im myself but kinda intiminated or idk. how do i act more like myself????????????????????????? this happens alot with popular people, unless i knew them before they were popular. i can act more like myself with people who arent so popular.. cause its a sad way of thinking but i kinda feel like im better than them.. i know i shouldnt think that, but i dont get intiminated by them or anything. ahh i have problems! help puh-leese!?! (link)
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well first of all, it isnt a bad thing at all that the people who really make the effort to be your friend are being patient with you...in fact i'm sure they dont think of that way..because they care about you and just want to be there for you..and those are the kind of true-blue friends that you want..so you are lucky to have found a few of them! and it is understandable that the school environment is one where it is hard to relax and just be yourself in, i think we all get that way. as for the people who "left you" i think they probably arent the kinda friends that you want anyway..because you deserve friends that wont just up and go..ya no? not that they did in that drastic of a sense but you know what i mean...i have moved around a lot and have had to make friends in many many different situations...so my advice to you would be to just be open to it and dont think that you're awkward because then you'll convince yourself that it is..cause awkwardness is a state of mind and if you convince yourself that it isnt (which i'm sure it isnt..you prob just think the other person is thinking that) then you'll notice a whole weight lift from your worries...being optimistic and outgoing is always helpful..but i agree, its easier said than done...people always say kind of stuff but at the same time it is like, excuse me but lets see you just wake up one day and be outgoing...cause that is a quality you can develop but the charisma they are referring to i think is something that you just are born with i guess...but you can still develop that too of course...my advice would be to just be open to the relationships you are trying to make..dont rule anybody out..always be interested in what the other person is saying..fish around for common interests..stuff to chat about...just try goint up to someone and saying hey, how has ur day been going? it is those little things that make people stop and think and put a smile on their face..and then they'll wanna be around you more becuase they know that you actually care...just be there for people, ya no? if you see someone dow, go to them...smile at people..dont be afraid to make the first move and ask to hang out or do something outside of school...it may take awhile to build up your confidence with all this stuff...which is understandable...but its a start, and once you start doing the little things..it will really make you feel better about this and your insecurities will fade away..you got this girl! just work it =)
as for the popular girl/guy thing..i think that you can just be yourself by doing what i said above...just relax, they are just people like you..ya no? you're guaranteed to be harder on yourself than you think, i'm sure that they dont think half the stuff you think..its just human nature to have that happen..and dont worry about the popularity thing..cause that might be throwing you off a little...just remember that you are amazing and your personality and style makes you YOU..dont try to act a differnt way or think about acting a different way to impress the "popular" people..i completely understand what you are saying..and i know you dont actually think you're a better person than the less popular people..but just realize that every person is just working out themselves..ya no? and those people prob dont care that they are less popular or whatever..i'm sure they dont care at all..you dont have problems darlin, not at all. we all go through this and i completely understand what you are saying...when you get the intimidated feeling or the feeling of awkwardness...just take a second...relax...smile...and breathe...and tell yourself that its just another person like you who is probably thinking they are the awkward ones...dont worry, just go with the flow...you got this! strut your stuff girl. you're fabulous =)
i'm always always here
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14/f
I met this girl, lets call her Suzy, last year in school. We became really close friends. Then came summer and we kinda went our separate ways, I traveled, and she traveled. Then we found out we were in the some of the same classes together this year. On the first day of school, everything was fine... we hung out together and had fun. Then.... here comes the problem. Suzy has a best friend and she's known her until about kindergarten. Lets call her Kendra. Well Kendra and Suzy don't have any classes together, and they only see each other before school, sometimes in the hallways, and then after school.
Well my birthday was in October, and usually your friends decorate your locker when it's your birthday. Guess who forgot... SUZY!!! I reminded Suzy everyday that it was my birthday, and then I asked her if she could come to school early and decorate my locker, and she said... "oh no, I cant come to school early. My parents are working really early, so they never can bring me to school early"
I was really sad and upset on that day of my birthday. Then just a couple of days ago was Kendra's birthday. I found out that somebody decorated Kendra's locker and I asked her who she think did it. And of course she said Suzy, and then Suzy came and said it was her.
Oh My Gosh!
soooooo, to make a long question short, do you think my friendship with Suzy has gone down the drain? Do you think I should still be friends with Suzy? Why do you think Suzy has lost interest in me? Should I forget about her, and find another best friend?
THANKS SO MUCH EVERYBODY WHO READ THIS! YOU'RE A TRUE HERO. (link)
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well, i dont think that suzy doesnt care about you or the friendship anymore...because people dont just stop caring becuase they have another friend...a lot of the times summer changes people but i dont think in this case that happened...maybe it is just taking suzy a little while to sort it all out now that everyone is back in school..my advice would be to try talking to her about how you feel..in a calm way, and use the locker as an example..not that you would--but dont throw it back in her face, just try saying that you just wanted her to care or something and make the effort...but in reality it is just a locker and the friendship itself is more important...if you come to find that you both have changed in different ways over the summer, that's ok..its tough to accept that idea.but take it from me, i've had personal expierience when it comes to this sort of situation...that doesnt mean that you and suzy cant ever be as close as you were, or even closer than you were at some point..but if you find that things are working out really between you two right now, i'd suggest trying to make friendships and being open to other people as well..i'm sure you are but i'm just saying..but none of that has happened yet so i'm jumping to conclusions here, just try to talk to her..call her or pull her aside (in person is always better) and just try to tell her how you feel...she should appreciate your effort and recognize what you are saying...i wouldnt IM her with your thoughts though, because often times when it comes to friendship stuff the interent can miscommunicate and you dont want that...just keep your head up and be honest with her and you will figure out what you need to do...i'm always here if you need to talk
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I'm dating this nice art-ish guy for couple months. He's into design and art stuff, but doesn't like to read books......Love sports....What should I get to him for christmas gift? (link)
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well let's see...my suggestion would be to get him something you guys could do together..if he is into art/design, maybe you could take him out to dinner and then head to an artsy coffee house (i know there are often coffee houses that host photography/artwork from various local/professional artists..also, there can be live music)..it is a really nice scene and i think if you planned an evening (dinner/concert/something like that)..that he might really enjoy that...gifts dont have to be material things, keep the mind open...the world is yours! i'm sure he'll love anything you get him =)
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