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okayy so me and this girl have been friends since 5th GRADE!!! and now she has been hanging out with the popular people. im not a nerd or anything,,but i am talking way well-known,people hehe.. like for example every year for my birthday she forgets to by me a present but she met this popular girl JUST THIS YEAR and made sure to buy her a $30 present. She has only known her for 3 months.now,,on myspace there is two popular people before me, and the first one is the one with the birthday present, What do I do? And i cant just forget about her and move on, because you dont even REALIZE the memories and good times we had. and by the way i am a girl. Please help me, i dont want to loose my BEST FRIEND. (link)
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shes probably just going through a stage, everyone wants it to be popular. so just let it pass for a little, not more than a few weeks. and then talk to her. tell her you're feeling left out ever since she became friends with them. and that you think its great that she has made new friends but you still want to be her best friend. and just see how things go. hopefully she'll see and then maybe she could even began to include you in with them.
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Well I have this friend that I care about a whole lot. I've known her practically my whole life, but for various reason our friendship became problematic. One day I had agreed that I would make time so that we could go somewhere together because the guy she really liked was going to be there. I assumed she would go with someone else but as it turned out, she called me and I had made other plans. After that she transferred schools and I called her but she never picked up. One day after two months I finally spoke to her. It was a difficult conversation because she was telling me that I had changed over time for the worse. A while back I had poor self esteem and I guess I was a "poser" because of it. I took a lot of my frustration out on her at the time. The thing is that whenever I think of her I am reminded of who I used to be then and it makes me feel bad about who I am now. In my head I guess it'll always matter to me if she thinks I am a "poser" because it hurts to know that the person closest to you thinks that. I call her like once a week but she never is home. We haven't spoken in about a month. I'm wondering if I should keep trying to fix this or if maybe I should just let it go? (link)
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i think if this girl means this much to you, that you're sitting here beating yourself up about it then you should keep trying to fix it. its obviously what you want. also you don't need to go back to who you were. but just imagine the person you want to be. the one thats not a poser the one that can be a good friend and work to be that person. and make sure its not only because its what she wants but its because its what you want. go for what you want, cause that would make you not a poser. it would make you you.
good luck :]
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I don't know what to do with my friend!
I've been friends with this girl, lets call her Abbey, for a few years now. In year 8 we became close because I had no one else to talk to. She was always a big girl so the guys we'd sit with used to pick on her a lot and make her cry so I'd always comfort her and make her feel better. She never wanted to move away from them though, mostly because they were the only guys that gave her attention, which is pretty sad.
Anyway through year 8 she was just a real backstabber, like convincing one of our other friends that i was very close to that i was trying to get with her boyfriend (of course i was not) which led to me and this other girl growing distant, and just not a nice person to me so one time i said to her "look i don't want to be friends with someone like you" and hung out with my guy friends. Eventually after she'd spent 3 weeks staring at me giving me sad 'puppy dog' looks her friend spent an hour trying to convince us to be friends and I said "Whatever, i don't care." By this point i wasn't intending on being best friends with her and I didn't care if she associated herself with me.
In year 9 and 10 she was just a rude person in various ways, ditching me on occasions and things so i just learned to not trust her and found everything went along a lot smoother, particularly as she had her own 'best friend' that she'd spend more time with.
In year 11, her best friend left and now she clings to me and two other friends of mine. By this time I was over everything that had happened and didn't mind her as she had become a funny person to be around that made me laugh. Through year 11 and now into year 12 though, she's just returned to her formal bitchy state.
It's hard to describe the kind of person she is without sounding like I'm just discriminating against her.
I have no problems with how people look, but constantly she refers to how ugly she is and is always telling me things her mother says to her as a way to make me tell her shes the opposite and beautiful and lovely. At first i thought she was just reaching out, so I would do all i could to make her feel better, but then she started repeating things. Over and over again. The same scenarios with her mother, day after day, and she'd sit there and wait for me to tell her the same things. She started telling other friends and basically everyone in her classes the same things and they'd say the same things I'd say. I know this Abbey has a low self-esteem and I've done so much for her ever since year 8 but she doesn't appreciate any of it and it's all just become a ploy for attention.
When i have a serious conversation with her she always makes a hypocritical evaluation that's completely unsophisticated or educated. I know everyone learns differently and some are smart in their own ways but when she speaks it just sounds so rude and ridiculous. Example "I hate how Americans always stereotype Australians, I mean, they're all a bunch of Rednecks" Also if me or my best-friend make a simple mistake that she corrects, she spends weeks reminding us and telling everyone she comes into contact with about it, and in a very mean and insulting way.
I know this girl has issues that cut deep and I still try to help her out, i give her advice and things like that, I try to be nice to her even though pretty much my entire group hates her, telling them it's mean when they make 'fat' jokes about her behind her back (as childish as that sounds) but it's just come to the point where i can't defend her anymore because i feel like I'm doing all this for her and shes being a terrible friend back.
I've tried telling her about things but she just gets upset and makes it worse. I've tried telling her to leave me alone but she comes back the next day as if nothing has happened. I don't want to kick her out of the group because she has no other friends.
I only have about a term left of school so i figured she can just hang around us until school finishes but we have schoolies coming up.
After that essay, here is my question.
Me and about 4 other girls are renting a house for schoolies, and because none of them like Abbey, she's not invited. Abbey hasn't said anything about schoolies yet so i don't know if she'd even want to go but i have a feeling she will eventually. I feel mean not inviting her but I don't want her to go at the same time. A few of my friends hate her because she's always rude to them so i know they'll talk about it in front of her because they don't care. I know if I was her that I'd feel horrible if people did that to me.
I just don't know what to do about her. The only thing i used to like about her was she was just an easy person to laugh with and make stupid jokes, but more recently she's just become annoying and immature.
Can anyone just give me some advice!? (link)
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this girl definetly does not know how to be a good friend. it might be she just doesn't know how to. so you need to give her a serious talk. even if she does get upset. she needs to understand what shes doing. tell her straight up what is bothering you. hopefully you will be able to get your point accross to her. and hopefully she'll take it into consideration and change. that way you can show your friends that shes not that bad. and if she doesn't change then you're going to have to give her an ultimatum. if she doesn't learn how to treat people right you guys can't be friends. its just what it has to be.
hope it all works out :]
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ok so saturday(3/7/09)i called my friend to see if she wanted to hang out. just to let you know i havent talked to her since before thanksgiving. but any way the third time i called her dad answered. he asked how i was doing then he told me the bad news. my best friend had moved into an assesment home. it was required by the court,because she was in adoption and got adopted in 2005. anyway i cried for like three hours because i had just lost my bfff. and the fact was that no one decided to call me and tell me. i am on her call list so she couldof called me. but anyway she is bipolar. and my mom talked with her mom and she said if i called her she might just tell me to f*** off and i am affraid to call her but i really need to talk to her any advice about how i should go about doing this???? (link)
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If you call her with no expectations and she might tell you off it would help a lot. It will probably hurt you to hear all of this coming from your best friend but you also will know she has a problem. Just trying calling her because you probably miss her. And if she yells at you and you can't take it just back off for a while. At least you'll know you tried.
hena :]
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