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I am NOT THE USUAL. I am a woman with many ideas, thoughts and experiences to share. I am not the usual because even though I am a female, I am not into the whole cooking and fashion type things. I am more about interactions with people, be it your friends, family or special someone. I have maintained a very successful relationship for over a decade and every day we grow together.

I have to say that the main reason I looked into something like this is because my friends and family use me so much as their own personal therapist and thought that I should start my own advice column somewhere. So I am here to further my skills and see if I can be of help to others.

I have also set up other successful couples that still come to me with question after question on what to do in different instances. This is because every one can use some true to life, honest, non-biased, non sexist advice and I have that to offer.

Those in denial may not be ready to deal with my advice. I have helped others find their faults, admit love, and even apologize for wrong doings. Only the mature can handle what I have to offer.

Please don't come here thinking this woman will join the male-bashing because I won't. I love men and all they stand for but know that all men are not equal and I do dislike the scum but I am fair.

Please, use me up at your own will for as long as you have me because soon, I will only be found in your local paper or favorite magazine, with my own column.

Young and old, come visit, let's see what we can learn from eachother.

advice

okay please dont judge me im begginnggg you..
but im 14 gonna be 15 in like 8 days.
but me n my boyfriend of 3 years have had sex b4.
and this last time we had it he didnt wear a condom.
i took a test and it showed up positive.
i took one about 3 weeks ago.
i took another one just last week and that one also said positive.
i have no i dea what to do.
my byfriend and i both want to keep it.
but have no idea how to tell our parents.
pleasee tell me something to doo.

Im not going to judge you as a person in either a good or bad light but one thing I can say is that this is the irresponsiblity that should scare you about having a child. Your not even mature enough to know how to handle this situation correctly. Thats why kids shouldnt have kids.

Children cant raise children nor should they have to. Your best years have yet to come and until you get around 17 or 18 you barely understand what's going on around you.

You may be a smart young girl, you may know how to show love and I'm sure your child will be a beautiful child but your role as a parent is to know how to care for the child, pay for the child, teach the child and at 15 you dont know anything yet.

One thing adults hate about being grown up is that you now are in complete control over your whole life. Theres no mommy to come and cook for you and clean for you. Theres no one to go to and tell them when you're hungry. Now it's on you and thats just being an adult and your saying with having a child at your age that you are willing to give up your entire childhood to prove that you can do something this major and it does scare me a bit as it should you.

I am 100% against abortion but stories like this make me understand how aborting one life can save another. Honestly if you have this child, you will miss out on anything wonderful and great you could have achieved by finishing school and becoming a phenomenal woman before being a mother which takes so much to accomplish just to be a good one.

I can go on forever with this so I will stop there and hope that you take this issued directly to your parents and dont hide it. Anything can happen to you or your baby and I want you to be safe and do the right thing.

Good luck to you....

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((the story)) Im pregnant oh and im also 19 years old.. i recently found out and i called the father of the baby.. he is not my boyfriend.. but he is the boy i love with all my heart. he is the love of my life. when i told him he just right away said i dont want it, that i needed to take care of it.. i got mad and just hung up the phone and sent him a text saying i would talk to him later, that i wasnt in the mood to talk... later that night we talked some more, he made it 100% clear he doesnt want it.. he told me to take a pill or get an abortion.. i said ok... but the truth is.. i dont know if i want to... i know im young, i know i have my life to live... but i want a child... i feel like i need it.. to fill the emptiness i feel inside me.. that i have felt for such a long time... but at the same time.. i know if i keep it i will loose him, which makes me not want it... i love him with all my heart, with everything i have..but i know and feel in my heart that he and i will never be what i want to be... we have been "together" ((friends with benifets/bestfriends/'inlove'/all of the above)) for 2 1/2 years now.. and he knows i love him, and he claims he loves me aswell.. but he never wants something "real"... if i keep the baby, i am like 90% sure he will have nothing to do with me because i will be going against his wishes.. that or i just dont tell him and i leave to live in the US ((i live in mexico bythe way)) to stay with my family who lives there...


((the question)) should i get an abortion and continue being in this f*ed up relationsip that goes no where with theman i love.. or should i keep the baby and risk losing him forever, yet gaining a new never ending love of a child??

Well having a baby would be so much more than you having that space filled and the never ending love. If you want to consider having a child you have to think of all of the other aspects. Things that can't be settled by just getting a hobby. When you have the baby, there will be love, with double expenses to follow.

When you do decide, you have to only think about how much you can handle and understand that when it all goes down, you are the only one that can never leave and go home or hand them off and walk away. That baby is there at all times and will always be first.

I would never say don't have the baby based on any money issue because when God sends our children, he sends blessings and agels with them and somehow hard or easy, you will make it through.

It's also hard to find a boyfriend with a baby so if you really want a family, give it some time, find you a prospective boyfriend that can turn into your husband and who would never abandon you or you're child.

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