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Let me first start by giving you a little back ground information. My ex wife became pregnant when she was 20 and I was 19. Even though it was earlier than we both expected to become parents, we were thrilled and so excited to start our family together. We got married shortly after she gave birth to our son Matt. Soon after that, we had another son, and then a daughter. From my perspective, everything was great. That's why I was so blindsided when my wife came to me 9 months after our daughter was born claiming she wasn't ready to settle down and be a mother with divorce papers in her hand. Almost overnight, I became a 23 year old single father with a 4 year old, 2 year old, and a 9 month old. After the divorce was final, I rarely heard from my ex wife. She had begun living a life that I didn't necessarily approve of filled with drugs and alcohol and, while I wanted to keep my children as far away from that as possible, she was their mother and I didn’t feel like I could entirely keep them away from her. The last straw, however, came when I let my daughter, Alyssa, (who was 6 at the time) stay with her when I took my sons on a hunting trip. I was supposed to pick her up at noon the Sunday we got back. I spent the entire afternoon calling my ex wife’s apartment with no answer. At 5 that afternoon, I finally just went over to her house where I found her front door wide open and her passed out on the couch from mixing a few too many drugs with alcohol. Her neighbor came over to the apartment and told me that my ex wife had taken Alyssa out one night and come home completely plastered. Thank god her neighbor had woken up and decided to take Alyssa back to her apartment. And this is just one example of many. After that, I told my ex wide that I didn’t want her to see our kids anymore which devastated her so much she entered rehab. She got clean and for the past ten years has seen the kids a few times despite my hesitance. My kids and I have been living a great life together away from my ex wife. A few years ago I began dating another woman whom I am now engaged too. She gets along great with my kids and is an amazing person who I know will be a good influence on my kids’ lives. My oldest son Matt is now in college, but Colton (my middle son) and Alyssa still live with me. Since I have become engaged, my ex wife has become crazy about spending time with the two of them. She wants them at her house every weekend and doesn’t want my fiancé to parent them at all. She is trying to tell my daughter all kinds of lies about why she left, and how I am a horrible person for trying to keep them from seeing her. She tells her that the entire thing was my fault and all kinds of horrible rumors about my fiancé, who went to high school with my ex wife. She has asked both of my kids to move in with her. Colton told her absolutely not, but Alyssa is confused about the whole situation and doesn’t know what she should do. I have full custody of them so essentially it is my choice about whether or not she can see them. I don’t want to take them away from my ex wife, but I don’t want to lose them myself. I am still worried that she will resort back to her old ways and put my kids in danger like she has their whole lives. Am I right to not let my daughter move in with her mom?

It is obvious that you love your children and want what is best for them. It sounds like you have been a great dad and I commend you for taking on the responsibility of being a full time single parent. I can understand why you would be very worried about Alyssa going to live with her mother. It is interesting that your ex has taken so long to show any interest in her kids. I guess jealousy can make you do just about anything. My guess is that your ex doesn't really want the kids to live with her full time right now (if she truly did, she might have realized that before now). If my calculations are correct, your daughter must be about 16 years old? This is a difficult time in a girl's life when she is trying to figure out who she is and what the world is all about. It would be normal for her to want to develop a better relationship with her mother. She is curious and is looking for validation from someone who is important to her. Both parents are very important to a child. She already knows that you love her and now she wants to see if her mother really does. She is also looking for the truth. (And deep down I am sure she already knows what the truth is... but now she has some doubt about it) She doesn't want to believe that her own mother abandoned her. If I were you, I would support her in this decision... and yes, I would let her move in with her mother. I know you are scared of losing her... but I think you have a better chance of losing her if you don't let her do this. If you try to control her and make her stay with you, she might see this as proof that you have always been the "bad guy" and have always kept her from her mother. You need her to trust you and she needs to start making some of her own choices in life. In a couple years you won't be able to control what she does anyway. Even if you said "no" now, she might find a way to be with her mom and might run away to do this. I would suggest that you sit down with her and tell her that you love her and don't want her to leave; that you are worried that she might get hurt again. Tell her that you understand why she needs to do this, though, and you hope she knows that you are there for her; that she can come back home at any time she wants to. There are just certain things in life that we have to learn for ourselves. No amount of you telling her what happened and what probably will happen will change her mind. She is big enough to stand up for herself with her mother if she needs to. Realize that there will probably be a "honeymoon" phase when she goes to be with her mother. She may pull away from you temporarily. This is normal... and TEMPORARY. Her mother will probably give her things and do things with her for a while to make her think that everything is wonderful there. But unless she has drastically changed, the truth will soon surface. If possible, it would be good for her to find a way to have a decent realtionship with her mother now anyway. That will be important to her the rest of her life (just as her relationship with YOU will continue to be important to her for other reasons). She will decide to come back home to you (probably sooner than later). You and her will have a closer realationship than ever then. If you don't give her some choices in this matter, she will just be resentful and angry towards you.

I am sorry it took some time for me to answer this but I wanted to think about it instead of rushing into an answer. I know this must be difficult for you. Congratulations on your new marriage. Good luck with everything! I would be interested to know what you decide to do and would love to have an update later.

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i came on my period on the 31 of december and came off on the 4th of january and then spotted 3 days later how will i know when im ovulating?

If you have a regular cycle and your body is pretty predictable, then you should ovulate about 14 days after the START of your period. Some people feel a twinge of pain in the lower abdomen on one side or the other when they ovulate. Other people don't feel anything. If you REALLY want to know when you are ovulating, there are tests that you can buy at the store. Good luck!

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Yes, I am aware that the most likely answer is that I am pregnant, but I thought I would ask: is your breasts are making a smell like milk but you aren't expressing any milk and nothing is leaking then could this be a sign of pregnancy?

Thank you!

I am sure that by now you know the answer to whether or not you are pregnant. This would not be a symptom of pregnancy. I assume that you have had a child before if you know the smell of breastmilk? It really doesn't have much of an odor to it. First, I wouldn't be worried about the smell at all. If you are looking for signs of pregnancy, you should look for other ones (but you should know that by now...)

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