xxDearLee's advice column | xxDearLee's Advice About Mental health

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Q: I said some things that i wish that i could take back right now but I can't and I just feel like my life isn't going to get any better right now. What do i do from here?

My policy: No regrets. Just lessons learned :]

I'm sure I've managed to vomit up some words on people, but nothing I can actually think of right now. Heheh, sorry...not the greatest advice..

but those little words of encouragement have helped me through half of highschool and IM STILL ALIVE :DD

Q: I think this should come under 'mental health', but i'm not too sure.

I keep getting mini panic attacks. At night i get all scared, shivery and just start crying uncontrollabley. This has been going on for about a week and a half now, sometimes worse than others. I found that for some reason wrapping my hand around one of my teddies arms calms me down, but i was just wondering if there is anything i can do to help with it, or stop it from happening

Thanks
PS 13/f if it helps

Hey, Im fifteen/ female.
Ive been getting those for the past week or so.
I dont get them too often anymore and definitely not as bad as I used to
Buut..school starts in eight days for me and Ive dealt with a medley of major mental health issues the past two school years. I always start off the school year chipper and cheery but at the start of the second semester, it all goes down hill.
But I have other little worries here and there and they sort of build up on me after a while and sometimes I dont even notice until last minute I guess.
But since my attacks have started over, Ive made an appointment with a therapist for help. I reckon you might wanna do the same.

What happens with my attacks is that I start to shake, everything gets louder, and I just get this awful, morbid feeling like something HORRIBLE is going to happen. And the room just feels soo much bigger than it is and its like im seeing through a fisheye camera lens sort of..and I cry. And the only thing that really calms me down is to go in my room, shut the door, turn off the lights, and sit cuddled up in my baby blanket. Actually, its a comforter. But I like it :] and I usually have my mama come in with me to talk about it. It might be a good idea to write about what happens. Like what you were doing before and how long they lasted.
I didnt hafta tell you what happens with me, but I thought it might help you out a bit.
I think I get mine from missing my medicine or something but it hasnt happened from that before..

but good luck sweetie!
and my inbox is just a click away :DD

Q: im going to a psych ward tomorrow
because i tried to kill myself
can somebody tell me what its going to be like there

Yeahh, how do you ban someone again?? Refer to columnist below.

Okay. My mom went to a psych ward for being OCD and bipolar back when they didnt know what it was. I dont really know what its going to be like, Im just fifteen.
But back then, they had all of the different kinds of patients mixed together. One time there was a lady who invited her to have tea. She sat down, poured my mother some tea, asked her if shed like cream and sugar. Only..there was no tea. Or cream. Or sugar. OR a tea set at all.
And then there was Tom. Tom said he couldnt take his medicine because he was dead. "Tom, come take your medication.""I cant. Im dead.""Tom, come on now!""I cant. Im dead!""Tom, I dont care if youre dead or not! Come take your meds!!" Poor Tom.
I just thought those might give you a laugh. And I wish you the best :]

Q: For some reason all i want to do is eat and sleep what is wrong with me?

You coullld just be lazy. Im definitely not saying that you are, but its possible.
It really depends on how often you sleep for how many hours and how you feel when youre not asleep. If your sleep schedule begins to interfere with your lifestyle, everyday tasks [ie. school and work, relationships] then I would definitely consult a doctor. It could be anything from yeahh being LAZY to a sooperserious sleeping disorder or depression. Thats whats up with me :]
but Im still that lazy little bum kid at the back of the class that never finishes her homework. Lol, good luck!

Q: For the past two to three months I've been having nightmares. Sometimes they're just off the wall, other times they're about things that are on my mind. I get enough sleep, but I sleep really late. I eat well and exercise. I don't get stressed out, but my dreams are always about underlying thoughts that bother me.

What can I do so I can just get a peaceful night's rest for once?

fifteen/ female
I have nightmares pretty often too, and Im not sure why. Theyre not like 'BOO!' scary but scary as in.. like things that are bothering me and really freaking me out. Like my bestfriend. Shes changed SOO much since highschool started so lastnight I dreamt she went emo, trashed my house, and other awful details. And somewhere along that line my baby blanket got shredded DD':
But I take a great deal of medication for mood disorders and were still working that out so that might have something to do with it.
I would try seeing a psychologist. I see one like every monday, lol. Shes an intern and were pretty much like buddies

But I recently bought a yoga book for teens and before bed Im going to try meditating with a lot of the breathing excercises so
Im interested to see how that goes :]
and Im supposed to just chill out an hour before bed. Like no computer or tv. Just read or something. No MySpace before bed..its tough but possible. Hah

But youre not alone.
and i wish you goodnights

Q: For the past year, I have been having really bad mood swings. I am a girl, but I don't think that they have anything to do with my mentrual cycle. Once or twice a month, for between 3 and 7 days, I feel horrible. I feel guilty about nothing, really sad, hopeless, helpless, and like it won't go away. I just generally hate myself. Sometimes I feel like cutting. A few times I have thought of death. One time, I thought of death and then three days later I was absolutely back to normal. I have a mood chart now to track my emotions, so I am hoping this will help. I have been on other sites, and they said that I am probably bipolar, but I don't agree. Bipolar involves manic states, and I don't have that. When I don't feel really bad, I just feel normal. I don't feel over-the-top happiness. I know that most of you aren't professionals and that you can't technically diagnose me with anything, but if you could give me your opinion that would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

It could be a thyroid problem, but that is usually accompanied by extreme fatigue and it's ongoing. The mood swings NEVER FRIGGING STOP! Hah, I'd know. I have one [hypothyroidism].

Buut, I also have PMDD. I'm not really sure what it means. It's like PMSing only worse. Some women get so depressed that they do the most regretful, awful things. One woman put her dog to sleep and was devastated after :[
And I know you said this may not be linked to your menstrual cycle but it sounds like it due to how long it lasts. I would definitely go to a doctor, or a therapist or something.

A therapist is sworn to secrecy, UNLESS youre going to hurt yourself, someone else, or someone else is getting hurt. That would be bad.

Q: I'm an addict. No, I'm not a druggie, an alcoholic, none of that. I'm a computer addict.

I spend AT LEAST 5 hours daily on the computer on school days. On days that I'm free I will spend all of my waking hours on the computer (for example today, I was online nonstop from 8:30am to 11:30pm, right now).

This is getting out of control. My family is breaking apart because of it, my school work is suffering as well. I no longer have a social life, I stopped doing the sport that I used to love so passionately.

I think the reason I'm (psychologically) addicted is because its a way to escape for me. I'm pretty depressed and lonely, and the computer helps me cheer up and forget my problems.

I had suspected that I had a problem for a while now (two years). What finally triggered me to ask help is that my mom tearfully and angrily lectured me that I live in filth (which is true, my room is disgusting, but I don't clean it because I'm on the computer), that "when we're all together we're not a family anymore because of you, because of the way you treat your brother and father and even me, your mother." What hurt me the most was when she said that she has a stupid, lazy, selfish, 17-year old daughter who would rather be with a computer than with her family.

But it makes me upset and angry because they're really the reason for this, I'm never good enough, I'm lazy and stupid no matter what or how much I do. My brother is the perfect angel and can do no wrong. My dad has these horrible habits (thundering on the phone, stomping when he walks: the whole house literally shakes, chews extremely loudly) that really irritate me, and I've tried talking to him about it, but he practically says that I shut my mouth and suck it up, because he's not doing anything about it. I can't even eat with him because I'm in tears halfway through dinner because the noise of his chewing (and its only him) really extremely irritates me. I've been eating my meals alone for the past 2 years or so. My mom, dad and brother eat together. And when he is shouting at the top of his lungs on the phone when I'm trying to do homework... I just can't stand it and I think its extremely inconsiderate of him, and rude.

What do I do? Where do I start? How can I fix things up with my dad? I can't get any professional help because my parents believe that I am the only reason of the problems that I have. I don't really know who to believe anymore. All I know that I'm sad, depressed and unhappy, and I hate it. Please help.

17/F

Oh, God. Okay. Im on the computer as much as you are if not more, but Im homebound due to this iffy chronic fatigue thing. I eat all my meals alone [if i even have an appetite] sitting in front of the computer on myspace or, yes, disneys toontown online [its like a drug okay]. I have absolutely no social life due to my ILLNESS, though, so were sort of in two different situations. But my brother is absolutely HORRIBLE! He treats me and my mom, especially me the little sister, like crap. Im on the computer to get away from him because if Im in the family room or at the kitchen table he will take any chance he gets to prove me wrong. He just doesnt believe that I have problems and when he DOES choose to accept the fact, he only uses it as an excuse for all of HIS problems!
But my brother has some apathy syndrome so how he is, isnt going to change.

For me, the computer is a way to socialize, and to feel like Im not totally isolated and alone. I have friends, I just cant be with them. So Myspace and AIM is sort of like a comfort for me. It lets me know that Im okay. And sitting around doing nothing day after day gets a bit boring. And have you noticed what computers do for time? They make it FLY!

so yeah, i know i wasnt much help. but i feel for you. ya know? sorry

Q: ok so i have like mad mood swings all the time.. one second ill be so happy or hyper and then like a minute later ill look and feel like crap or like i haven't slept in days or ill be really mad and upset and my moods changes so quick all the time.. im 16/f does anyone no why this is or if its normal? my friends and teachers always ask me whats wrong because ill be so happy and they go to like so upset?

It could be a good number of things. PMDD, I have it. Its like pmsing only WAYY worse. Ugh. Hate itttt. But theyve got medicine like YAZ [[which stops breakouts!]] but Im on zoloft.
But yeah. It could be hypothyroidism, depression, bipolar disorder...Id talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist first and if they cant help, see an actual doctor. But the first two should be enough. Lol

Q: I dont know whats wrong with me but i'm like afraid of people touching me. I'm not like germophobic or anything. Seriously though like even just like if someone is sitting too close or something. Even with my best friend like we'll be sitting next to each other watching a movie and she'll be too close ( which is'nt even that close) and i move a little farther from her. I dont get any of this it's weird. I know alot of you are probably going to say like well if you have a problem with it then stop having a problem with it but i dont think it's that simple. Does anyone know whats wrong with me? Has anyone felt like this before? Help please!

Im no psychiatrist, but it could be possible that you have some sort of social anxiety disorder. Or just simple chlaustrophobia. Just a thought,

Q: ive been seeing a psychologist now for a few weeks becuase of my depression. next week, im going to see a psychiatrist and she or he will determine if my depression is bad enough for medication. i was just wondering, how do they determine if your depression is bad enough for medicine? like, will the psychiatrist ask me questions, or draw blood, or what? thanks!

Never. Depression is psychological, not physical. My best bet is that theyll just ask you a few simple questions, thats all! Ive never been to one that did anything different.

Q: Im having serious thoughts about giving up on life, nothing has been going good for me and i always feel like shit. I try to be a really nice guy and whenever i do something good for someone, i get shit shoveled in my face, is this a sign i should just dive head first into an empty pool?

p.s. thats not the way id do it though haha

Yeah, I kinda felt the same way a while back. Eventually something goods gotta happen. Right? Just take everything day by day, yadda yadda.

bio

Most call me quaint. Im afraid to be blunt.
I dont get out much, either.
Lifes been pretty mellow lately, but I only see it as the calm before the storm. Its okay; I love the rain.
No I cant handle the truth. Just tell me anyway. I love having secrets and I actually sort of like being labeled.
I believe everything, the good, the bad, can change in a second. Someone please tell me otherwise? But I can be...well, stubborn and slightly insane.
Yeah, youve been warned.
I have trust issues and dont take things lightly. Im always asking too many questions looking for what I want to hear. Thats not the best quality to have.
And people often dont understand me, especially when I babble. But hey!
~~--Lifes short. Talk fast.~~And oh. I never take my own advice. Kooky, eh? Yeah, IDK.
forumfulness. experience the insanity..ZWOOOSHH