hey there! My name is Alexandra (or Alex). I am just your friendly neighborhood Spiderman.
I'm here because I would like to help people with whatever may be burdening them.
I am empathetic and insightful. However, keep in mind that I am not a therapist but will do my best to help with whatever it is you are going through. :)
If you are feeling in need of 'quick help' and are suicidal, abused, in danger, etc;, here is a hotline:
http://www.crisistextline.org/textline/?gclid=CMTnron-rL8CFYpffgodgokALw
So, ask away! All is confidential (I'm not going to blab about your stuff to strangers).
Website: http://falynnfalcon.tumblr.com/
Gender: Female
Occupation: college student
Age: 19
Member Since: March 16, 2011
Answers: 48
Last Update: October 16, 2014
Visitors: 4884
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Right this is for my friend.
Hi I'm a 13, f, and most of my life I get so angry bout things I start thinking bout what it would be like if I died and I have nearly tried to.
This is because this past yr has been the worst of my life,my dad left when I was 4 then when I was 10 my mum got married and my step dad adopted me and my brother and he left my mum and now I feel like he don't wanna be my father any more and it upsets me alot as both of my dad's has left, the worst thing is tht I feel like it was my fault he left. also 3 days before Christmas my grandma died and I was really close to her and a while after like a month or so I went to my knife draw in the kitchen and put a knife to my wrist,no one knows part from my best friend. Can u give me advise please. (link)
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Hey there, angel face.
I'm sorry about your family situation. Family trauma can be carried for a long while throughout life. My parents divorced before I went into high school. That was a difficult time in life. Anyways, your fathers made the decision to leave. Do not put that on you. They chose to leave, and so they left. It's not like you told them to leave, so please don't blame yourself. It's very easy and normal for us kids to blame ourselves for family dysfunction when in fact it is the parent(s)' choices and faults to act.
I am also so very sorry for your loss too. I lost both my mom and grandma somewhat recently, so I know the pain you are going through. You have gone through a lot at such a young age, and while it sucks a lot, you can grow and become stronger from these experiences. I think you should look into therapy for your family trauma and grief, as well as your desire to self harm. Therapy has made me a better and healthier person.
Self harm is incredibly dangerous, especially when you are willing to go towards the edge of death. Try other, healthier coping mechanisms such as: exercising, punching something (not the wall!), writing, coloring, or even talking to someone you trust.
I wish you the best of luck xx. There is a suicide hotline on the side of my column if you need. :)
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I'm an 11 year old female
Even though it takes me an hour to go to sleep without a light source, and outside at night I'll start getting sick (she's witnessed this), and once I tried to talk to her, and said it was nyctophobia, she only laughed and said it's not a phobia. She also tries to fix it on her own. The problem is, she thinks she could fix it, but she isn't trained to do it,I know I need a psychologist or something like that, but she refuses to admit it. She is all like,“common, (my name), you never had this before!" When really,I did. I remember I had several night lights. What should I do? (link)
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Hey there, Common! Sorry you are experiencing this...it seems really uncomfortable. What do you mean you get 'sick'? Do you feel nauseous? Or anxious? Has any trauma occurred in your life that you think caused this? I would first see a doctor just in case. I think it would be a great idea to talk to a psychologist too. That's too bad your mom isn't taking you seriously; that can be frustrating. Especially if she's trying to fix it on her own. Can you talk to your dad?
If not, I would sit your mom down and tell her: "Mom, I am concerned about this and I think I would feel a lot better if I got checked out by a doctor. I know you mean well, but I would appreciate it if you took this more seriously. I know this may be nothing serious at all but I just want to make sure." And hopefully that will be enough.
If and when you see your doctor, tell them that you may want to speak to a psychologist. They can provide you with resources. :) Good luck, Common. I really hope your mom listens! Try and talk to your dad too.
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Ok, so this question could be triggering I don't know so sorry if it is. I am an outpatient recovering from anorexia bulimia, depression and mild OCD , (yeah I know pretty messed up). my friend from school is having a pool party and has invited lots of people including the girl that effectively sent me to hospital, she bullied me constantly online and at school and no one knew.(the girl, not my friend) I still haven't told people about my problems with her girl because I know they won't believe me. Anyway I really want to go and I have set it as one of my short term goals to achieve but I am worried about this girl being mean to me, also I will be in swim wear so people will defiantly notice how fat I am now I'm out of hospital and also all the scars on my body due to self harm, I am just scared she will bring it up infront of people and I don't know what to do!? (link)
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Hello there, OP! Ah, recovery...such a wonderful, sunshiny journey, isn't it?
I can totally understand why you are hesitant about telling friends about what you've been through. I am a recovered anorexic and I didn't tell my friends until about two-years after I fully recovered. Some who don't understand EDs can get the complete wrong idea, so I would be care about who you tell when that time comes, but no hurry! The chick who bullied you is clearly an unhealthy influence so I hope you distance yourself from her.
I think its great that you want to face your fears and step out in public in a swim suit and what not. That's very brave of you. :) You deserve to have fun. Recovery is hard work! I was very self conscious myself during recovery; I felt like I was eating more than everyone in the room.
I don't know how mature this chick is, but if you absolutely want to go then I would hang out with your closest friends, people that you really feel secure with. Do your closest friends know that she has been bulling you? If so, I would let them know about your fears of her being a dick to you: "Hey guys, so since Sally doesn't like me very much and is rude to me, will you guys have my back"? I'm sure your friends will be willing to stay with you so that you are not obligated to be around this girl. You don't even have to mention to them about the ED.
What also can work is that you let your friend know that this girl has been bulling you and that you aren't too comfortable with her. You don't have to tell her to un-invite her but if you let your friend know how this bully treats you, then your friend can help look after you. Honestly, I think the bully will be too preoccupied with her group to take the time and gain up on you. And if you find it easier to tell her and your friends about the bullying and the Ed, then more power to you.
Again, I understand the discomfort of being exposed, especially during recovery. If your scars are noticeable you can use makeup concealer to conceal them. They'll probably be especially hard to notice if you're going to be in the water. You can also wear a light sweatshirt or wrap if you are feeling uncomfortable outside the water. You can wear a suit that doesn't have bright colors if you are still afraid of attracting attention.Hopefully this bully chick doesn't decide to waste her ever so precious time on you. Like I said, I believe it is best to stay away from her as much as you can. Stay close to your friends and those you trust.
Good for you, OP! It took me a long time to be social again after I recovered. Recovery is the most difficult thing I ever did in my life so I applaud you for pushing forward and stepping out. If you decide not to go, then that is totally ok; you aren't a wimp. I hope you have a great time! Let me know how it went. :)
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hi guys, i have been very stressed lately and i raelly dont know what about. I guess relationship things, family stress, and school stress. Does anyone have a good way to just sit home and relax? Just to let everything escape from your mind that you havent been able to go a day without thinking about in a few months. To have a completely empty head. I've been thinking so much for the past few months, the things i think about follow me to my dreams when that was the only place i could escape them, and ive had a constant headache for about 2 or 3 weeks. how do i compltely relax my brain, and my body and forget everything just for a day while staying at home? Thank you so much to who ever answers this, it will be highly apperciated! (link)
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You seem to have alot going on :P when at home, go to your favorite place in your house, with no one around, avoid any distractions (music, tv, phone) get into a comfortable position, and lay out your thoughts. Just relax and breath, like meditation. And focus on your body, the areas were the stress "hurts" (stomach, heart, head). Think about what is stressing you, one thought at a time. and some sort of solution ex school: I will go to my teacher and talk about areas where I need to improve. Or family: I will sit down with them and tell them why... is bothering me, or making me feel bad.
By doing that, then your thoughts are planned out, so they are not floating around! Also spend more time with yourself, get away from people and distractions for a while. Focus on you.
What also helps is writing EVERYTHING down on paper, so in a way you are "emptying" your head. Write down your stressors, fears, hopes-just whatever comes to mind, and decide what to do about them. Don't take on all of them at once, just be patient.
To learn how to relax your inner self, try yoga- I love it. Your body becomes aligned with it's self and you can learn what is going on with it.
Good luck:)
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M/15 I feel like I have been stripped of emotions, or the good ones at least. I do not feel the same about things and people anymore. It is hard to explain. My parents ask me why I don't like hugging people and things of that nature. I have less friends now and I never feel like going out and doing things. I laugh and have fun but it seems the older I get, the more I'm stripped. I have no girlfriend either. It feels like I miss how I felt previously. A year ago, even earlier this year. A year from now, I'll probably miss the way I was feeling now. Its like I'm being blocked. I'm starting to lose care for certain things. I'm tired, I feel cold. On V-day, a friend told me I'm not human. I'm nice to people but I still feel lifeless and useless. I don't want to go crazy in my stupid house. What is this? What can I do to change? I wanna feel what I used to feel. Am I desensitized? I need a change in my life soon! I feel dead. Its hard to explain, especially when I myself barely understand what this is. (link)
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mm I'm sorry :/ your only 15, and you have your whole life ahead of you! I'm 19, and so do I. In fact I didn't have my first boy friend til I was 18, but hell that's ok, there is so much more in life.
And of course you are human. You aren't perfect and neither am I which is great else we wouldn't be interesting :P
Your symptoms sound like you may be depressed, I experienced the same feelings when I had crap going on in my life, just empty,totally numb, became a zombie, lost interest, pushed people away. So I suggest you see a therapist, nothn' wrong with that.
That way you'll know what you need to do, get confident and back on your feet. It's gonna be ok :P and you have so much to experience
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I have a 2.7 GPA (junior) because I've been having terrible procrastination all through out high school. It took its peak this year.. and I'm still in a mess and trying to sort of things. I've started to see a therapist about it but I just feel very defeated because high school has totally sucked, like last year was the worst year of my life. And it's my fault. And I wanted to go to the University of Chicago but I don't even know if its possible anymore. I mostly had 80s-100s my freshman and sophomore years, but this year I've been doing very bad
. I've been struggling and handing in work late.. due to my stupid perfectionism. and then i feel defeated and procrastinate. and then the cycle keeps repeating and then i just get more and more overwhelmed. and I'm trying to get done a lot but I dont even know if the teachers can accept things from last marking period.. but its so bad that I won't even get credit for English and Math for the first semester if I dont. Ugh, is there any way to get out of this mess?
I have no friends or anyone to confide in.. which is why I had to beg my mom to see a therapist, but its only once a week. I've only seen her once but I'm optimistic, I think. I used to not be this way at all but I've just been on this downward spiral.. and I want to get out of it but i dont know how or if anyone beyond my parents even care. and then i feel bad for expecting people to care but then most everyone else has some friends to talk to. its very hard being a new kid in school, too.. ugh im just tired of feeling sorry for myself and everything. i want a good future but i'm just afraid. like right now im procrastinating.. and everyday i want to do work but i dont know why cant just do it like 95% of the time!!
i dont want to get medicine from the therapist or anything.. i think i just have a huge time management problem. its nothing new, but as the course load increases every year i guess its just become very apparent. i want to fix this problem before getting to college, if i can even go to a good college. im intelligent when i apply myself and everything, and get high grades that way, but i feel hypocritical to show that im smart with all the poor grades i've gotten this year. should i even try to do my make up work from last semester? and is Uchicago pretty much out of the picture, regardless? what about UT Austin?
I feel like kicking myself, cause I know I can achieve much higher.. and then I feel jealous of the other kids who can get into harvard and everything.. its possible, but how did they do it? its so hard to resist the temptations of the internet especially. especially with not having any real close friends really.. the internet has just grown into this huge compulsion. its even harder cause a lot of homework requires the internet. and lately i've just been feeling like crap and excluding myself from everyone.. and its hard cause im actually really social. but i never really feel close to anyone. and nobody seems to care that im going through such turmoil. my parents underestimate it and even when we talk about it.. i still think they dont really get it.
ugh sorry for this babble but i dont know if you can help or anything. like i'll be exteremely grateful if you can, i'm just like the worst state ive ever been in. a teacher said ive become like a totally different person from last year, and i am.. like when i moved to this town i immediately got top marks, like mid to high 90s in everything. but this year, my junior year, its just extremely embarassing. and its all my fault and everything.. but how in the world could i get good recommendations and etc?
im so scared and ive just screwed myself over. can i even get out of this??? i feel like i've let everyone down, especially myself. How much can my GPA even go up before i graduate? i know i can just go to a community college and transfer.. but something about that just seems a bit sad.. i wish i could just go to uchicago first. i spend so much time just daydreaming about the way things could be in the past and things in the future without really doing the work to get the future i want. so many regrets. many times i have thought of freezing time, to get extra time to work on homework. so many times its embarassing, though I know it can't happen. or going back in time. i always feel like i dont have a lot of time.
idk why its so hard for me to see that things change little by little, even when i know in my head its true, my heart just doesnt believe it and i dont know how.
sorry this is just ridiculously long but this is just my life this year. idk anyone else to tell this to honestly. and i really dont want it to get worse, because that has been the trend this entire year. (link)
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First, it will get better, it always does!! Right now, you need to take care of yourself. A reason for procrastinating could be because something is going on inside, therefore you lose concentration and entertain yourself with something else. I procrastinate when there is crap going on in my life. Also I make myself stay up late 'cause in a sense I try and "escape" or avoid the next day, when really that makes it all worse. So maybe there'res something going on inside of you?
So I have learned that if I just force myself to work on an assignment, stress goes away, because I am actually WORKING ON IT. What helps some people are incentives like; "if I get this assignment done then I'll allow myself to watch tv, until then I CAN NOT watch tv" or "if I get good grades by the end of this year, then I will buy that new game". So set yourself goals.
To get you motivated take time and picture yourself in your desired career, happy and successful. visualization always works.
As for college, I became sick and was out two MONTHS at the end of my first year of highschool, then 3 for my junior year. so I missed a huge chunk. now I'm in community college, and it's GREAT. and you don't need to feel ashamed! It helps you get a feel of college life, saves soo much money, majority of universities accept transfer credits from community colleges, and you can manage your own time.
My major is nutrition, and I'm not worried, I'm taking my time. Once you get yourself back on your feet, you'll be confident. Then just start putting yourself out there, meet new people.
and ANYTHING is possible you CAN get into your dream school, please don't doubt that:)
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Recently iv been having some mental issues (looong story) and now that im over the depression and feeling happier generally getting back to how i was a few months ago, i was telling my freind what was on my mind and remembered a few things about back in school like when i had these dreams about Dark figures pulling me towards them without resistance no matter what i tryed.
If you'v ever seen the game "Shadow of the collosus" you'll get what i mean when huge shadow'y figures pull me towards them, the main figures outline were like those monsters on the game.
There was also another dream i had when i was with one of my old school mates outside his house doing somthing and this car drives past and i run back in to the house the man in the car chased me untill he had my leg locked up with my face pressed in to the stairs, my friend and his family were stood behind me for ages just chatting about what was happening quite calmly while i was still on the floor obviously struggling for help.
there's a couple of other times i'v had dreams like this but its only happend 3 times in my life.
Im 19 Male. any other info needed? (link)
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I can totally relate and I've had experience with depression and dreaming as well :)
So what I usually do is keep a dream journal-ya I know it's cheesy, but I then try and analyze the symbolism and see what's going on inside. I could be TOTALLY wrong but maybe these shadow's are trying to drag you back into your past, that you are tying to run away from (I could be wayy off). It depends on how you were feeling at the time. Excited, nervous, scared, confused, happy etc. emotions are the key.
As for your recent dream, maybe there's some truth that you dont wanna face- your trapped, struggling, yet people are just talking to you, maybe trying to tell you something.
Again I can be way off, but try keep a journal :) I'm 19 as well and still do it
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