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Website: Radiate Positivity
Gender: Female
Location: East Coast
Member Since: January 24, 2015
Answers: 4
Last Update: January 24, 2015
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Ok, so this question could be triggering I don't know so sorry if it is. I am an outpatient recovering from anorexia bulimia, depression and mild OCD , (yeah I know pretty messed up). my friend from school is having a pool party and has invited lots of people including the girl that effectively sent me to hospital, she bullied me constantly online and at school and no one knew.(the girl, not my friend) I still haven't told people about my problems with her girl because I know they won't believe me. Anyway I really want to go and I have set it as one of my short term goals to achieve but I am worried about this girl being mean to me, also I will be in swim wear so people will defiantly notice how fat I am now I'm out of hospital and also all the scars on my body due to self harm, I am just scared she will bring it up infront of people and I don't know what to do!? (link)
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First of all, you're not messed up. Anorexia bulimia is quite often associated with depression and mild OCD. It's not your fault your brain works in this certain way and it's not fair to put yourself under such harsh judgment.
Second of all, I can guarantee you that you are not fat. You didn't go to the hospital to "get fat". You got their to "get healthy." All your friends will admire how well you look, only your ED thinks you are fat.
If you are very concerned that people will comment on your size/scars or that this girl will trigger you, maybe you should open up to a few of your close friends about your situation. I know telling people is always scary at first, but I promise they are more understanding and supportive than you assume. This way they can back you up if people comment something like, "Oh, lets not talk about appearance. Did anyone watch that show last night?"
You can also be very honest with yourself. If you think being at the pool party while feeling self conscious AND being around the girl that bullied you is too much to handle and might be very triggering for you, then maybe you don't go to this party. There are tons of parties in the future that you will be able to attend that this girl will not be at. My biggest advice to you would be to tell your friends though. You will feel less depressed and isolated when you have their support and understanding.
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One of my friends self harms, I am the only one who knows about it. I too used to self harm so I know how hard it is. I want to be there for her but she annoys me so much. She is clingy and she always insults me. The worst thing is she guilt trips me into everything she wants me to do saying "do my homework or I will cut myself and it will be your fault" or "if you don't give me the money I will cut myself and we don't want that". I tried to stand up for myself but she just guilt tripped me in to shutting up. I know she is a toxic person but I feel guilty if I cut her out of my life, what shall I do? I am only 14 and I can't handle it, I just want to focus on getting my GCSES please help. (link)
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You are only 14. The only person you are responsible is for yourself. It doesn't sound like your "friend" is really treating you like a friend if she is guilt-tripping you and threatening you. It's unfortunate that your friend is self-harming, but that is not your problem. You need to tell your parents or a teacher or a counsellor about your situation. I know it's hard and you feel like you're betraying her, but it will be better for your and her health in the long run.
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