I'm going to try to shorten this the best I can. It'll probably end up really long though..
Ever since the end of my freshman year I had a thing for my friend. He's 20 and I'll be 18 next month. I already graduated from high school and I'm about to go to the same college as him.
So pretty much, I've had a thing for him for 3 years.
We became really close my sophomore year. I had a boyfriend at the same and he helped me with some of those problems.
During my junior year we started texting a lot more. Eventually we told each other how we felt. It was complicated because we weren't sure what to do since he was leaving in January. He said we'd talk about it the next day, we didn't. We didn't talk about it for a couple weeks. I just thought he gave up on me and I became interested in someone else. Eventually I start dating someone else and he gets mad. We ended up becoming friends again though.
I had suspicions on my boyfriend cheating on me and I always went to him for help so he called me and we talked all night on the phone. He told me he still had feelings for me and he wished I was older so that we could be together, stuff like that. He said a bunch of sweet stuff.
Maybe a month later, while I was at their house, he and I hooked up. No sex, just making out and a little more.
After that, he ended up leaving and he'd text me a lot and call me and talk about his life in college. One phone convo ended badly though. He kept talking and talking..I can't exactly remember what happened. Then I said I was gonna go and he said, "Oh ok." I said, "Bye" He said, "I love you" I said, "Bye.." Afterward I ended up crying. I guess something he said hurt me. Then he texted me saying, "I'm so done with you."
We don't talk for 3 months and he texts me and he said that he needed time to grow up. So we became friends again.
He comes home during the summer, we hook up again like 3 more times.
He leaves, we stop talking. I start seeing someone else. Then he texts me again asking about the new guy. No mention of feelings or anything. Maybe a month later he asked if me and my boyfriend have made out. I said yes and he gets all upset. I was clueless.
From then on, we kept it as a friends thing. Until we start talking a lot more like 2 months ago. Like a week before he came home he told me that he still has feelings for me, he wants to try again, no games. I figured it was because he was lonely and his friends had girlfriends or he was homesick. So I kinda just blew that off then he came home and everything was cool. We'd hang out and all that. Then one day he gets so cold. He stops talking to me, hardly looks at me, doesn't text me or anything. I asked him what happened. He told me he didn't feel the same as he did before. I cried in the bathroom for like an hour..
I didn't talk to him for maybe two weeks. Then he texted me saying he missed me. Then we become friends again. We ended up making out again like 2 weeks ago.
At this point, I'm not sure what to do. He hardly texts me and I feel like it's going to be the same thing again. We probably talk like once or twice a week. I feel like I'm in some dramatic movie. I know I should probably call it off but I don't have the guts to do it. I care about him way too much. I haven't texted him, I'm really stubborn.
We're going to the same school at the end of this month. Should I just wait and see and not text him? I don't want to make myself look like I want him if he doesn't want me. I'm thinking maybe he texts me and we start reminiscing about our past, I'll say that I don't want to mess around anymore. I want something more serious.
Idk..and this whole thing between us is a secret. I'm really close to his family..they only know we use to like each other 2 years ago. So I really don't have anyone to talk to about this.
Sorry it was so long. I felt the need to explain everything so you could get a better picture of him and how he is.
Entering college, you're going to meet soo many new people. I wouldn't limit yourself to an old flare. You can't rely on him to decide what he wants, because you want a man who is SURE of what he wants. If he was sure, he would have made you his. So many guys in college are going to see you as worth-while, so don't settle yourself for less than. Any man would be able to make the decision, and it's not ultimately up to him. Don't give him that power. If he wants you before someone else does, he better step up his game, and make sure he respects the hell out of you. Let him make the effort because he's hurt you. The ball is in his court, and he needs to communicate.
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i dont fall in "like" often.
as in i dont ever feel the instant spark or connection with someone but when i do... its bad.
recently i felt it and i cannot stop thinking about this guy.
i hate when i go through this because it makes me go crazy.
i hate liking guys because of this feeling.
i feel like i text the guy im into way to much and think about him way to much and flat out obsess about him.
how do i turn this off? and stop this craziness. and just be mellow and normal when it comes to a guy that im into.
Well, feelings for someone aren't exactly something you can just "turn off". Never obsess, let the man do the chasing. If he wants to talk to you, he will. No matter what, he'll give in. No matter how hard it may be for you, just kick back and try to get your mind off him and don't contact him first. Because when he finally does contact you, it'll be when he can engage in a better conversation, and you'll feel so good that you know he thought of you, just the way you think of him. Relationships are a two-way street, and require communication. Especially the growing ones! Just keep calm and carry on.
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I have a friend that I like alit He told me that he likes me also but now after a convo that we had he now tells me that we should be friends nothing more. But its not as easy as he thinks it could be , we have been sexually active with each other . He its the first person I did alot of sexual things with ! I don't want too be only his friend I want too be more but now he questions if we can move forward because of what I said ! What should I do?
I'm sorry to say, but that's the trigger. If a guy really cares or has intentions of caring, he will want to get to know you BEFORE doing sexual things. Us girls get used, and it happens to the best of us. Drop him. Why try to pursue something with someone who never had intentions of pursuing something with you? No one likes to be used. Just keep your head up and never give in too easily unless you know your emotions won't get in the way. He's definitely not worth your time or effort. Always let the man do the chasing.
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