Gender: Female
Location: New Zealand
Occupation: Student
Age: 21
Member Since: January 25, 2007
Answers: 13
Last Update: August 18, 2007
Visitors: 1737
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okay theres this guy, and we both really like each other right, and the thing is he liked me a lot last year and i didnt like him like that and i went out with this other guy, and that hurt him and we werent friends anymore (were like bestest friends) but now things are back to the way they were like were really good friends..like best friends, but i KNOW he still likes me, and the thing is i like him too and i think he knows that its just i dont think neither of us wants to do anything about it. i mean we like the way things are going i mean its just easier. but i think he may want to make it 'official' but i dont want to yet. he can tell this is what im feeling and hes taking it really well. i mean we flirt non stop and people can tell theres something going on but im just in denial. i think i have major commitment issues. PLUS i really like him and everything its just i cant imagine myself kissing him. other than that i definately see myself with him. what do you guys think? (link)
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21/f: From personal experience, I can tell you that it is very, very hard to get your friend back after you've been dating each other. What I mean to say is, only go into a relationship with him if you think it might last. Otherwise, you are just taking the long route (and it will be long, I tell ya!) toward kicking him out of your life - and that is clearly not what you want.
Sometimes it's nicer to flirt and enjoy each other's company than to try and complicate things with a relationship.
On the other hand, if you really do feel strongly about him in a romantic sense (not being able to picture yourself kissing him is not a good sign...), you should go for it - best friends make the best boyfriends :)
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i've never hooked up with anyone before, as in kissing. and i dont want to ask anyone in person because i dont want anyone to know i havent hooked up with anyone yet. its just im sooo nervous about doing it wrong. i kno there is no actual way to do it, but im just wondering for tips or just instructions on how to. and please be as specific as possible thanks soo much (link)
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Hey there. I felt exactly the same when I was younger (I'm 21/f now) so don't worry. I think everyone is a bit daunted by it since kissing has been in your face in the movies your whole life and it dawns on you that you don't really get how to do it...
The main thing is, don't get worked up about it, and don't go looking for someone to hook up with! It'll all happen in time and I hope it does for you when you want it to happen (and are sober - that helps for a much better first kiss!).
Some practical advice, I guess, is just to kiss someone like you'd kiss your own hand (to start with). Lick your lips first, be really gentle, take it slowly and don't try and use your tongue. Trust me, you get the hang of it pretty quickly! Good luck :)
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22/f
Ok I I love to do karaoke and I met this really cute guy *Kurt there a couple weeks ago. He is really nice and is good to have conversation with. when i met him I thought he was like 21-23 yrs old. He looks really young. Turns out he is 31.That didn’t really bother me like I think it should have. We have kissed a couple times but nothing more then that. Is this wrong of me? Am i too young to be doing this? I could really use some advice on this!!!! Please help!!!!!!!!! (link)
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I'm 21 and I'm dating a 35 year old guy. The age gap really bothered me to start with (but mainly because he wasn't honest with me about it). At least this guy was honest with you and looks young. Don't let the age gap stand in the way of something good! Older guys are basically better I reckon - more mature and more likely to have gotten the whole "player" attitude out of their systems. My guy treats me well and has learned what not to say and do in a relationship - which is great because it means I don't have to teach him.
One piece of advice: don't tell people his age before they meet him unless they ask. Reason? People will prejudge him based on his age. Let them meet him, see how cool he is, then later (again, only if they ask) let them know he's a bit older than you (and add that you really like him so it doesn't bother you). I made the mistake of saying, "I'm seeing this guy - he's 35!" as if it was shocking or impressive. I really regret it now because everyone in my life has prejudged him and it's my fault that this happened.
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I'm 22, F: Last semester I had a class with this one guy that I really like. He's very kind, outgoing and smart. I'm drawn to his personality. To make a long story short, I only "talked" to him a couple times, and even then, I didn't really feel myself...not because he's uncomfortable to be around, but because I feel so shy and akward when I'm really attracted to someone. When I feel comfortable, i open up and have tons of things to say, but getting to that point is the problem.
Anyway, today I saw him on campus and we talked a lot, but I felt so jittery. He's so outgoing, and I felt like I was talking a lot too, but I felt like something was holding me back from really speaking up. At times I was outgoing and comfortable, but I felt like I had persistent butterflies.
So, how do you open up to someone of the opposite sex? Any tips as to how I can be more confident, relaxed, and myself are appreciated :) (link)
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Hey there,
It's funny, I read your question and it could have been me writing it. I had this exact problem with a guy, and I've got one piece of advice (which you're already sort of following):
Don't let him get away! I don't mean this guy necessarily, but any guy you feel attracted to (especially if you're "drawn to his personality" as you put it).
I'm nearly 22 and I've spent the last 8 months trying to get this great guy who I met in one of my classes out of my head. And now I'm pretty sure he's graduated and I'll probably never see him again.
Just ignore the butterflies and go for it! The kind of guy you want to attract won't be put off by your nerves, he'll be flattered. At least that way you won't regret your inaction later as I do.
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