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My boyfriend and I are in our mid-twenties. We have been together for about a year and a half and I've never had a reason to feel like I can't trust him. Yesterday evening, he went to bed and left his phone laying out on the counter. Now, looking into each other's phones is something we promised we'd never do. Neither of us get jealous easily and we've always gotten along SO well because we're both laid back.
Well, what I found hurt me a lot. There were two different girls that he had been texting from time to time over the course of the past few months. With one girl, he would text her randomly and tell her that she looked beautiful in her new Facebook photo, and then a few weeks later he would say that he wished he could come see her. The other girl, he'd call her sweet names and he said he'd be off work for a few days and thought that they should meet up. From what I could tell, he never met up with either of them. But seeing him flirt and sweet talk other girls hurts so bad and I don't accept that. Plus, if he's willing to say those things, what else has he done that I wouldn't find in his phone?
I don't know what to do. I don't put up with cheating but if it IS just words in a message, it is different from physical cheating but still is a betrayal of my trust. What I don't understand is that our whole relationship has felt like it's in that "honeymoon" stage. I've never felt like he's been unhappy at any point. We constantly have so much fun together and have rarely had even the smallest of arguments. He brags about me to all of his friends, his family loves me, we've made plans for our future... and then I discover he texts random girls every once in a while. They're never ongoing conversations but still very inappropriate.
I left him while he was sleeping and went back to my own house. Since then we've briefly discussed the situation but I really don't want to talk to him because there's nothing he can say to justify what he's done. He keeps apologizing and saying how bad he feels, and that he'd never actually cheat on me, the texts are just an ego boost for him and he only sends them when he's drunk, that's why he quits replying. It makes sense, but at the same time, I will not tolerate cheating and I'm just hurt so bad that I feel like I will always have doubts in the back of my mind.. but beside this situation, we are SOOOO good together and I don't want to throw that away. (link)
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I\'m actually going through this myself.
If you feel like he will change then you can give him the second chance. But you have to be willing to let it go and throw it back at him later. Trust is separate. You can set boundaries to him and let him know that you will still be skeptical of him for a while. But it\'s totally up to you.
But don\'t be so forgiving. He messed up and the excuses that you listed are not convincing. Flirting is cheating. Telling another girl that\'s beautiful and telling another girl that you want to meet up is not okay. It would only be okay if you were going as well.
You need to do what you what you feel will let him understand where you\'re coming from. I understand completely. It will be in the back of your mind and he needs to know that actions like that are not tolerated.
You don\'t want to throw the relationship away and honestly I don\'t feel like it worth completely ruining the relationship if he hasn\'t actually done anything and I\'m ONLY saying that because of the length that you two have been together, it\'s not easy to just throw away. You say that you have just briefly discussed the situation, but you need to do more than that and then make up your mind when you get to what made him do that.
Good Luck.
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Im 16. My boyfriend is 17. We've been together on and off for a year and 2 months. His ex girlfriend asked him to prom because shes a senior and needs a date. They dated abt 2 or 3 years ago and he claims they want to be on a friend level. Im not sure how to take them going to prom together. I wanted to be his only prom date. He understands where im coming from but he said hes thinking about going. I don't feel comfortable with it. What should I do?? (link)
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Ok. You\'re the girlfriend and your boyfriend\'s ex has decided to ask your boyfriend to prom. Regardless of how may years they dated, she clearly knows that you two are dating. He has assured you that they are only friends. You\'re upset about it. He says that he understands but is still thinking about going? Correct?
You are the girlfriend and this is your relationship. If you don\'t like it, you need to stand up and say that you don\'t like it and if he\'s committed to you, then him just having to think about going is not okay. You\'ve talked to him about him possibly going and that should be enough.
Since it\'s not. One thing that you can do, is go to his ex woman to woman and explain to her that you don\'t like it. I don\'t think that it\'s something that you should end your relationship over because it could be innocent, but it\'s just off that an ex girlfriend is asking her ex-boyfriend that has a new girlfriend to prom. If she was really a friend, she wouldn\'t be asking him.
Let\'s be honest, YOUR boyfriend is not the only guy that she can ask. She can get another guy to go if she really wanted to. Don\'t be afraid to speak your mind. If your relationship is worth fighting for and see your relationship going further, then by all means, SPEAK UP.
Good Luck.
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My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years and it was an amazing 3 years. We always know how to make each other laugh and each other happy. We love and care for each other very much. About a few days ago, he came to me and wanted to talk. He told me he was re-evaluating his life and wanted to take a break from the relationship so he could "find" himself. He said also he needed some change. I know this break is meant to help us be able to go out and enjoy life without worrying about the other but it really hurts and it's really hard on me. He said that the spark between us was there still but it just wasn't kindling like it should. What makes me more upset about this "break" is he wanted this beautiful necklace back that he gave me for Christmas last year. I'm not sure what to do and honestly this break hurts me more than it is helping. I don't want to seem desperate but I really miss my best friend and I wish he knew that. (link)
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It\'s totally normal to feel this way. And you have every right to want to know what\'s going on. \"Breaks\" in relationships can be good or bad.
If you\'ve been dating for 3 years and you both feel like it\'s been great then i\'m sure it was for a good reason.
After this long period of time, sometimes it\'s best for both parties to take a step back and reevaluate the relationship and see if you both want to possibly take the next step. But if you\'re saying that he wants to be able to just go out and enjoy his life, then you might just want to ask him point blank what he really wants. Because with that statement, it seems like he wants to look into his other options.
Believe me, it\'s not you. Sometimes, this can happen in a relationship and one partner doesn\'t notice it. Maybe you two do need some alone time.
I really do understand where you\'re coming from. But maybe you need to just go out and not be worried about this situation. But just know that there is a difference in a \"break\" and a \"break-up\" surely he would have made this clear on which one he wanted to do.
Go out and have some fun and just relax. When he\'s ready, he\'ll call you and maybe by that time you\'ll want the same thing or you\'ll see that there\'s something else out there for you.
Good Luck.
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