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Q: 18 Female,
Okay so I've been with my boyfriend since the start of march & so far so good...BUT he and his ex are still friends. I understand he can't just not talk to her ever again because they dated for like 4 years but her flirting with him & text msgs asking to stay at his house, Im getting upset over it. Im not the type to get angry and start a fight, I usually get upset & become quiet so Im not going to argue with my boyfriend about it. But i obviously need to deal with the fact that they're going to be friends.
He says theres nothing going on between them anymore, & that he's friends with all his ex's and they don't do anything except be friends. He told me he won't go back to his recent ex(the one i have a problem with) because she constantly pissed him off for like the last 1 yr of their relationship and they always fought to the point where he couldnt handle it anymore & that she's said she'll change so many times that he doesnt believe her anymore so yeah.
Can anyone give me suggestions on how to deal with them being friends?
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Well, they did date for 4 yrs. That's a long time. But that's not an excuse for her to still be flirting and asking to stay over. You sound like an unconfrontational person, like myself, but if he won't say anything to her, maybe you should. I don't know if you actually know her, too, but if her not being over him bugs you, and she can't take the hint that it's over between her and your boyfriend, then you should give her some hints of your own. Now, I'm not telling you to go start a fight with some girl over a boy...you're 18, and adult. Let her know that it bothers you in a mature, grown up way.
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Q: Someone I recently started seeing is getting ready to deploy for six months. I have yet to share with him my feelings towards him. I want to tell him before he leaves which is next week. But I don't know if I should or not. We text each other everyday and have been communicating with each other in some form for almost two months. I want him to know I will be here for him.
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You should definately tell him how you feel. I mean, I don't know how involved the 2 of you are, but my own boyfriend was shipped out for the Navy. It will help him to know that you will still be there for him when he gets home.
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Q: Hey you guyz my friend and his girlfriend broke up like a week ago and i like his x gf and i think she might like me. but i dont know if i should go out with her even if she likes me cuz she broke up with him and hes by best friend! What should i do?
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I think you should ask your friend, casually if it makes you uncomfortable to out right ask, about his ex and how you kind of like her. Or just ask if he'd be alright with you going out with her. If you get the green light, go for it.
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Q: I've been with my current boyfriend for almost two months now, and he's a really nice guy, and he is very thoughtful and emotional. I just don't think there's much of a connection between us. I've had a few other boyfriends before, and whenever I am with him, I don't feel the way I think I should...I don't feel attracted to him, I guess is what I'm saying. But I feel guilty dumping him because he is an amazing boyfriend. He buys the best presents and says the sweetest things to me. So, I'm wondering, is it worth it to dump him and hope someone that makes me feel the way I think I should comes along? Or should I just be happy with what I have?
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You shouldn't stay with someone you don't have a connection with. It just wouldn't work out in the long haul. Sure you might get into a nice "comfy" relationship, but is that what you really want? To be comfortable, and have really nice boyfriend, but not have any real connection to him? And don't worry about someone better "coming along"...you don't have to just sit there waiting, the time of damsels in distress and rescued princesses is over....go out there and bag yourself your prince!
And P.S don't feel guilty about not having a good connection. That's what dating is for, trial and error until you DO have a connection with someone.
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Q: Me and my boyfriend have been together 11 months, and I love him more than anything. We've both just gone to university and we're 200 miles apart. Last night, I got very, very, very drunk and was taken advantage of by a stranger. I know it's no excuse, but it explains why it happened - I am not normally ever like this. Even if my boyfriend wasn't an issue, I would still be incredibly upset about what happened, being taken advantage of in that way. I've never had a one-night-stand before, even single.
Today I missed my first day of lectures to go up to talk to my boyfriend about this. Understandably he is absolutely devastated, and destroyed - but he says as he loves me, we can stay together and give it a go. He's very negative though and I just want to know whether anyone has ever been in a relationship, one person cheated and the relationship kept going. I regret this more than anything else I've ever done and I would do absolutely anything to make it better. Thank you for any answers I receive.
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I can relate completely with you on this. I actually "cheated" on MY boyfriend on a drunken night of partying.We talked it over and he forgave me, but it definately took awhile for him to trust me completely in certain situations. I think if your boyfriend still loves you, things should work out. It's been almost half a year since my "incident" and my relationship with my boyfriend is still going strong. Just trust in your love and everyting will be fine.
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bio
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I'm usually the friend that people go to for advice or to vent. I can usually give it to them. I'm here to help and possibly get help....so that's about it...
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Info
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Location: NY Occupation: student Member Since: September 18, 2008 Answers: 16 Last Update: September 2, 2009 Visitors: 2240
Main Categories:
Favorite Columnists
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