Hey all, 22/f here. I posted this question:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=576604
I finally decided to stop trying to talk myself into it, and ended the relationship.
Now I hurt =(. When I broke up with him, my heart physically hurt...but anyway, I did it. Now I keep wondering if I made the right decision.
I'm scared to death of the withdrawal I'm going to feel when I start to miss him. I haven't yet, because I don't think it's sunk in that I ended it.
Has anyone else ended a really long relationship and dealt with it successfully? I know to keep myself busy (that won't be a problem, I'm taking 12 credits in psychology and working 37.5 hours a week at two jobs), but is there a certain way to think about the whole thing that might help me?
Thanks, everyone.
I know it's hard, and you might be feeling withdrawal symptoms, but a relationship where you are being manipulated and you are playing mind games is certainly a harmful relationship. Imagine this; you went this far into, and think about how hurt you are. If you went even further, think about the pain then - you can't avoid it. And if you went till the very end where you are abused, mistreated, and fed with mind games, not only will the ending of the relationship hurt the most, but the feeling of being manipulated will stay with you forever.
Certain relationships are the emotional equivalent of rape, and you were escalating into it. You were doing the best thing for yourself, and you must remember that - when you hurt, it is the body's way of telling you not to do that again. When you fall off a skateboard, break your arm, poke yourself with a needle, it's your body's way of saying 'No, don't do that!' But when your brain controls the pain, it is often unreliable and can make you regret everything.
There will always be guys - about 3.5 BILLION of them! This guy was giving you, essentially, emotional rape, and the other 3.5 billion will probably not.
You are MUCH better off without him, withdrawal or not. You'll be paranoid for a bit - don't be. Not all men want to manipulate you.
Good luck, and let me know how it goes.
-TeenSoup
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I like one of my best friends we are now in separate states i cant stop thinking about him i email him often vice versa i think he likes me i dont know but i avoided a big problem by telling him i was told he likes me i need to tell him how i feel but how can i? i am 12 people think these problems dont matter but they do. i ask him who he likes he says people.i ask what girl he says girls. what do i do?
For me, being twelve was not too long ago, and I understand what it means to really like someone. I had a friend that moved away and I really liked them. I think I loved him, in fact. I cried and cried, and I didn't even get to say goodbye. I still feel lucky, however, because one of my best guy friends is still in touch with them, so I am trying to get a hold of them. You're lucky that you're still talking to him.
I know it's VERY hard on you, and I know that people underestimate 12 year olds. (BTW - You might want to reconsider being on this site, it's for 13 year olds and up, so come back later.) We still have very complex emotions, even though you aren't quite teenagers yet. I'm sure you're very mature because you still like this guy even after he moved. You aren't shallow, I'm guessing too.
I have a question - is there ANY way that you will be able to see him? Do you want to? If you are probably going to see him, that's great - but if not, take a chance. If you probably won't see him ever again, tell him. Tell him how you developed feelings for him from the last few months that he was here. Tell him that you understand if it's awkward, but that you still are his best friend, and those feelings will never change.
He might not reply. He might reply - with a big email talking about how much he likes YOU too.
I have to go, but definitely tell me what happens!
-TeenSoup
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15/f
There is this guy i like and he is pretty funny. However when we talk we tease eachother and are exact opposities. Its almost like the movie THE PROPOSAL and THE UGLYTRUTH.
Im just wondering if funny guys thinks intelligent, and witty girls are interesting and attractive. I really lke this guy. Please answer. it would be a great help. Thanks :)
Sure - it shouldn't be a problem at all! They are funny, you are witty. If you have a sense of humor, all should go fine.
Just remember that you can't be a 'intelligence nazi.' Correcting him will only tick him off!
Go, go, go girl!
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k, so there is this really cute girl in my history class, im a year older then her. I just moved to Montreal,Canada not to long ago, I waited a while then tried to add her on facebook but she declined. I havent really talked to her cause i dont know what to say to really catch her attention and intrest, im good looking but i think she is more attracted to personality, so what personality characteristics does the average girl find attractive in a guy? Im just affraid she might think im a creep or something and i really dont want that.
Be her silent knight in shining armor. We love being paid attention too, and men who think we're cute really give us an ego boost. Don't stalk her, though. Be there when you can and talk to her. Don't flirt yet if she obviously declined your invite. Pretend it never happened, and be generous, nice, charming.
Be yourself. If she's nice, she'll respond. Simple as that.
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