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Q: me and my boy have been together, here, for a year. he just moved to live in florida.. we together in person would have so much to talk about do, we get along so good. now that hes gone, like, on the phone, theres not so much to say, its really hard to keep this relationship, i feel like eventually we'll just fall outta love cause the things we loved about each other we cant do cause hes far away, we can just talk, i like in NY by the way. Anyways, idk what to do.. any advice..
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Long distance relationships are tough, I'm not even going to lie to you on that. They're tough because the distance really puts a limit on the things you can do (more on that later).
1. I implore you to be very open to each other about your expectations. "Expectation Management" is HUGE when you only have a phone to talk with. Honesty is the best policy! The things you choose to hide *will* act like a wedge between you two.
2. Be open to changing moods. Frustration and ambivalence are popular emotions because both of you are powerless to do anything short of traveling to see each other.
3. Try taking things one day at a time. Rushing "closeness" will get you nowhere and will only add to your mounting frustrations that you're not with your special someone.
The remedy:
Invent new things to do "together" either online, or over the phone. The world we live in today is very helpful when it comes to communication and there are limitless possibilities for you to explore. Try watching a movie together via the phone (if that isn't too expensive for minutes)--Timing the start so you both can see it at the same time adds an element of teamwork.
Playing scavenger hunt with camera phones (assuming you have them) by making lists for each other and the first to take photos of the other list wins.
It's all about keeping the novelty of dating while living 1000+ miles apart. It can be done, you just have to be creative.
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Q: wednesday, a guy asked me out and i said yes. we only just met on sunday, but we'd been hanging out for four hours that day and we talked online and on the phone.
anyway.
this "relationship" has GOT to end. i can't really go into the specific reasons why, it just absolutely has to. but he's been very nice and sweet to me, and i feel like $#!* for having led him on maybe.
but the truth is i got to know him a little better and... he's trouble. he's no good.
i already know i want to end this as swiftly and efficiently as possible without completely pissing him off and without getting into a confrontation/argument thing...
can anyone give me a good layout of a swift, persuasive, concise breakup speech?
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
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Law #3 of the Universe (a.k.a. The Law of Simplicity) states that nothing simple will ever be easy. That said, there is no easy way to end a relationship no matter how swift, persuasive, and concise your speech may be.
Law #5 of the Universe (a.k.a. Washington's Law) states that honesty is the best policy. Tell him the truth and don't drag it out... Nothing is worse than beating a dead horse.
Tell him why you don't wish to continue and be clear that there is nothing he can "fix" to keep it going. If you're worried about destroying him, make it more about you than about his personality. Stay away from nebulous expressions like "it's not you, it's me" or "you're not my type" or "I just don't feel it happening" because they all beg the question "WHY?"
If your reasons aren't clear, they will be called into question.
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Q: Hey, so I know that probably that a lot of girls say this on here, but I guess I'm gonna say it now. I'm 15, female. All my friends say I'm pretty, but I seriously don't think I am. My friends, I guess you could consider them "popular". I just don't talk to guys very much. And if I do, it's never like a serious talk, it's always joking around. I always see my friends having serious talkes with guys, and their like, best friends with them. I'm just not like that. I consider myself as kind of, socialy akward, maybe. Like, I have cute clothes, good hair, great friends, but those things aren't that important in life. I just feel like I'm never going to get a boyfriend. I've never had one before. My friends say I should just wait until college to have a bf, but sometimes I just don't want to do that. I'm not looking for sex or anything like that, I'm just looking for a nice, sweet guy. All the guys that always like me, aren't that good looking. And I know that's really bad of me to say, and that's not all I care about, trust me, but looks are something. I don't know what to do. Guys don't know anything about me. There's actually a lot that people don't know about me. Like I love the NHRA drag racing. I think that if people knew more about me, they might like me more, but no one really ever asks. And if I bring something like that up, it's just akward. So what should I do???? I feel like I'm not pretty or skinny enough. Like, I'm not super skinny, but I'm not super fat. And my confidence level is usually very low, if you couldn't already tell. What to do???? Thanks
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First and foremost, you need to smile at yourself in the mirror. It is perfectly normal to feel lonely at times. Everyone on this planet feels it at some point in their lives, because deep down we all want a feeling of belonging.
That said; you're 15 years old and you have PLENTY of time left ahead of you. Worrying about something as silly as not having a boyfriend isn't going to do you any good. This isn't a test, and you can't flunk if you don't have a boyfriend by the end of Summer.
Try loving yourself more. Forgive yourself of the things you can't let go; give yourself a break. There is nothing more attractive than a person who is confidant with themselves (not arrogant mind you, but mindful that they aren't worthless).
And there is good news:
There is a law that governs the universe, and it's called the Law of Attraction. It states that you will only get what you give.
You are obviously a person with depth, and if your friends tell you that you're pretty... believe them. Take that in. Enjoy that you are who you are and try to let things go their natural way. You need to be open to just letting things happen, and stop concerning yourself if things don't go the way you expected them to.
Something *will* come along.
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Q: OK so im 18/f and he is 22/m
His father owns the restaurant i work at.
Any how the other day at work when i was getting the buffet refiled he was getting something to eat and he said "i miss you". Then he flashed a lil smile. We were right next to each other. It was quite quiet.
Last summer we talked alot but lately we just talk every now and then. He barley ever even responds to my e-mails. Im leaving in two weeks for college. I also had a thing for him before but i never let him know.
I guess my question is what do you think he ment by telling me this and what do i do?
THANKS!
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Let me answer with the typical boy mentality...
"I miss you." means... "I miss you."
Guys aren't the type to hide what they're thinking. It tends to just come out the way it came together in our heads. So when he says that he misses you, he honestly misses whatever you used to have.
That doesn't mean there isn't potential. Guys are dumb like that (I can say that, because I'm a guy). Just because he 'only said' that he misses you, doesn't mean he doesn't want to go out with you... If he said, "Let's go on a date." you wouldn't think he was saying "I miss you." now would you? So try not to make it seem it's the other way around.
Guys will either say what they mean, or not say it at all.
So, spend more time with him if that is what you want. He obviously wants you to.
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Q: ok my best guy friend asked me out, problem is im gay and her doesnt know it....neither does anyone else. (he's liked me for 2yrs now) so how do i tell him that im gay without breaking his heart?
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Unfortunately, dealings with emotion are rarely simple (and this time is no exception).
Honesty is *always* the best policy. Easy to say, not so easy to do however. I recommend that you tell him the truth.
However, it may be easier for you to deal with this as two separate things and tackle them one at a time. The first issue is about him. Obviously you have no romantic feelings for your friend, so tell him. It may cause some heartache, but good friends stick around no matter what. Be very clear that the way you feel for him is nothing more than a good friendship. Throw in some compliments about his personality, or how much he helps you out and relate them to how they make him a great *friend.* You don't want to mislead him.
The second issue is about you. You may choose to tell him your sexual orientation, or you may not. I recommend you do so only if you feel the time is right and that you are ready. You must be very comfortable with yourself before you can be comfortable with anyone else knowing. Keep in mind, that friends are friends. They aren't judgmental, and they want to support you. If they act the opposite, then they really aren't your friends.
When you finally do tell him you're gay, don't beat yourself up over any reactions he may have. You have to remember he's known you for a while and it may come as a shock to learn something very new about someone very close. Don't take it negatively.
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bio
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I'm a random eccentric with an excellent ear. I tend to appeal to common sense and logic, but I know a good knee slapper when I see one.
I love helping anyone and everyone, no matter what it may be. I consider myself a doorman...
Any doors I can open for you?
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Info
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Gender: Male Occupation: Communications Age: 25 Member Since: August 22, 2008 Answers: 13 Last Update: April 29, 2011 Visitors: 2772
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