Neetz's advice column | Neetz's Advice About Love Life

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Q: so far ive been in four long distance relatioships and now im in a relationshp with someone and its not long distance and its my first one that isnt but it kind of feels like it i only get to see her or talk to her every other week my other relationships didnt go so well and i want to prevent that with her because i love her
any tips would be very helpful also this is the first time ive been with a girl so any relationship advice would be great

oooooh,a guy in love!! ur gal IS the luckiest girl in the whole world!!

are you ready for what will come in the future? commitment?marriage?the best way to make her feel extremely happy,is to slowly but surely tell her,that yes,I am in love with you,i never have felt this way,and i want to be committed to you all my life.write her love letters.write everything.but only if you are sure that she is becoming serious about you...dont reveal too much too soon.

another way is to joke about it.tell her,what would you say if i said,youre the one i want for life?

this will take some time,but be very careful.dont overdo anything,and dont put too much pressure,causing her to back off.be sincere and tell her you are in love with her.any girl will be blissful,if she hears that!best of luck and god bless u both!!

Q: Am from Ghana, am 25 years. I had some misuderstanding with my boyfriend about a call.

It all happend, one Monday night aroud 10:30pm. I had a call from a guy who is just a friend to me. When the call came I realised that I have mistakely changed the name to female. So when I recieved the call and heard it was a male voice I was shocked, and did't no what to do at that time since it was late and I did't what us to have any problem. I answered the call by saying Hellow stweatheart, since that is the way I recieve my calls from any one that call me and moreover too didn't want to him to suspect anything. After speaking to this guy, my boyfriend ask, was it a man that called me and I told him it was a girl friend of mine. Since the person's name on the phone is female. So this guy called again in two minute again and my guy picked the call since the phone was with him. He gave the phone to me after realising that I have told him a lie since the voice was a male voice.

He told me he didn't want to have anything to do with me again that am cheater, lier, he is dissapointed in me and he don't want to see me again. And later concluded that he has broke up with me.

I have apologize to him in serval occasion but still insisting on the breakup. I really love him and I don't want to loss him.

please help me am lossing it.

This is my email address niceladyasiedu@yahoo.com

hey!

its sad that this happened...i feel you must email him with the details of the truth about what happened,as you wont be able to do it face to face,he probably cant take it.try your best to save this relationship,because its worth it.since your guy is innocent and really liked you.it shows because he was really hurt.

Q: 25/F/US

Three years ago, I met a man. Our relationship was brief but very intense... I don't entertain any delusions regarding love; I didn't know him long enough to feel such a thing. But, when I'm honest with myself, I have to admit that no man I have met since can rival him. I've never been more attracted to a person, on so many different levels, or felt myself connect with a person emotionally and mentally so quickly, so easily.

During the past few years... I've tried to move on. I've dated. I've fallen in and out love. At one point, I was even engaged to be married. I can go for months without thinking of him at all... But once he runs across my mind, he's hard to push back out again. And I can't push him out without a tremendous amount of effort, without missing him terribly.

I want for nothing more than for this to stop. Recently, I've been thinking of him and it's driving me absolutely CRAZY.

Please help me make peace with his memory. I've tried addressing the feelings of anger, rejection, sorrow, regret... I've even thought that maybe HE isn't really the problem. Maybe the problem is just that I'm lonely and remembering a better time.

They say, whoever 'they' is, that the first step of the healing process is to acknowledge the problem. I've acknowledged the problem. I've acknowledged a combination of problems.

What now?

hey!

all i can say is that we feel this kind of love-when we see the best,or the 'divine' in a person..sometimes,the person doesnt reciprocate,for some reason,we embark on guilt,and anger,and feelings of rejection.just tell yourself,you saw the best in him,and he didn't,not because it was your fault,but for various other reasons.it hasn't worked out,God has kept the best for you in the future,it is yet to come.so move on,stronger,more peaceful,and accept that you are a wonderful person yourself,and look forward to the day u find someone perfect for you,and who reciprocates that love.God does exist,and if you havent got that person,he isnt the right one.soulmates happen when both have mutual love,and God will make your life and wishes fulfilled.just look at the pattern happening behind the scenes in your life,that will make you accept that the best is yet to come.

Q: So basically to make the long story short, I recently broke up with my boyfriend of a year and a half, because he wouldn't find a job, get his license, make time for me, and stopped caring for our relationship. To be honest I am very hurt, and I miss him very much -- I'd die for him. But I felt this was the right thing to do right now.

Well in the past week, all I have been having were these dreams about he and I. One was about him and I breaking up then he got over me the next day and found someone else (which didn't happen), when where he cheated on me (didn't happen either), when where we fought and he broke up with me (didn't happen), and then just last night I had a decent one actually, when he and I were together, just us, having a great time on a road trip together (didn't happen). I had a couple more but I don't remember those, but I do remember in most of these I woke up crying..

I just don't know what to do. Can someone help me, please? =[

hey!i can understand that you are hurt and miss this person,this happens because you feel rejected by the guy.when someone stops caring it is very hurtful,but try to accept that there may be many other reasons for whatever happened,and the reason isn't you.always tell yourself,that you are a great and valuable person.dont feel hurt anymore,because it is definitely not your fault.if you want him back,you have to tell him about it[with the risk of getting more hurt,if he says no],or getting over him,and living a normal life again.you are a wonderful girl,no matter what has happened ,or what will happen.believe that you are fabulous,and you will be fine.good luck!

Q: Okay. Here's the thing. This boy (14/m) and I (13/f) have been super close for the past year. We really like eachother but agreed that we wouldn't date because we dont feel like we are at a mature enough age to handle it. Also, we knew ahead of time that he would be moving away at the end of the year and I really didn't want to get invloved with him just to have him pulled away... Well I tried as hard as I could but when it comes down to it you can't control your feelings and Ive really fallen for him. He totally understands me, and knows me better than I think some of my friends do. This summer is going to quite literally suck without him. He's not just a boy I like, he's my friend and I dont know what I'm going to do. My friends can see the writing on the wall. They already know what a mess I'm going to be and I know they will want to help but I dont want to have to depend on them. I'm fairly independent and I am mad at myself enough that I have let this boy mess with me so much and I want to be able to handle some of his being gone (not ALL of it, I know not super girl) on my own. So if any of you know any good tips (please dont tell me to just throw myself out there, I'm soo not that kind of person) but maybe just give me some pointers or a few really good promises I can make to myself that I can look at when I am feeling down. You know like "I promise myself I will not mope everyday" or "I will not text/call/IM him everyday" because I really want to move on. I'm too young to be try a long distance relationship (especially when we weren't even dating to begin with!) and I think I just need to get over him, but I ned help. Tips and promises I can make to and practice myself please!!

i do feel sorry for you,its unfortunate that this has happened,because such feelings should be kept within,until mr.right pops up later in ur life.but dont worry,remember that he is a friend above all.and always keep your mind and yourself engaged in something else,some interesting stuff.when you do different things,it kind of takes your mind off all these things.its like this,the trick is that the mind cannot concentrate on many things at once.so when your mind is occupied,you will be least bothered about other things.

you are a great person,a valuable one too.so dont feel down,for any reason.get over him,and be back to normal again.wish you luck!