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May 31, 2005Answers:
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I'm here to give advice. I don't have a degree in therapy, but I've been told I am pretty good at this. People have advised me to pursue a degree in therapy, but singing and acting is what's in my future. Please only ask advice. Not questions about me. I'll give you my opinion on the subject and will remain neutral. Leave your name only if you wish for it to be public. Thank you, and I hope I can help. ((Crisco))
advice
Hey Crisco, I have a problem. Ive liked this guy for about 3 years. Ive dated other people but he and I hung out every once in a while and the feelings would come back. Well here recently he and I have been hanging out with my friend and her "crush" who happens to be his friend also. The feelings are stronger than ever. He has a girlfriend though. We both liked each other last year but never said anything. I know he cares about his girlfriend and im fine with waiting my turn but i'd love it if they werent together. He was at my place last week and we danced a lot and he completely acts like we are together. His girlfriend lives an hour away so he doesnt see her a lot. I know that if they werent together he and I would be so this doesnt help the way I feel any at all. Can you give me a little advice?
If it's causing you actual stress and upsets you to the point where it makes your heart hurt, perhaps you shouldn't hang out anymore. Let him know how you feel. Maybe that could make or break a decision to leave his girlfriend. Sometimes there will be questions that won't have a correct answer. This perhaps, is one of them. Sabotaging a relationship or being the reason a relationship fails is never a good feeling, unless you are a manipulative person, which I hope you are not. Always keep in mind that there will always be other fish in the sea.
If I was to meet you how would I go about having you as mine? I think your hott but oh well. How would I go about snagging a guy like you?
Um.....wow, that's a toughy. I'm pretty unattainable due to my busy schedule. Not that I'm super important or anything, but I don't have time to be anybody's boyfriend. I'm trying to stay focused on my goals and saving up money, and with a girlfriend, that is hard to do. However, affection is a plus. If a girl will play with my hair for hours, or smother me in kisses, it wouldn't hurt. I also enjoy a good massage. Making me laugh and stimulating conversation is key. Trust is a big issue with me, so honesty is truly the best policy. Right now I'm not looking for anything other than a friendship....perhaps with benefits, but not necessarily. Oh, come on. Everybody needs to have some fun from time to time! Hope I could help you in your venture :)
i am a 18 year old man have problems approaching girls and starting up a conversation with them... little help please...thanx
Before you can be confident enough to approach a girl and talk to her, you ned to learn to actually be confident in yourself. You will never find true happiness until you are truly happy with yourself. True happiness comes from within. When you reach the point where you know you are a good guy and you are happy with your life no matter what, then talking to girls will come easy. I know how you feel, when it comes to girls and being attracted to them, it's hard to gather up the courage. Perhaps you could try what I do. I think of a girl as just a friend and have it in my mind that she thinks of me as just a friend, ya know? As if she was one of the guys. That way there's not that awkwardness. It's easy for me to talk to girls as friends, but when it comes to something more, I've found it's easier to go with when you've already made good communication with them as something other than a guy that wants to possibly date them.
Ok I met this guy and he seem to hit it off. I really like him. We have slept together and he is the best lover I have ever had. He calls me like 10 times a day. In the morning to say good morning, in the afternoon to talk, and before he goes to work, when he's at walk, and when he is finshed with work. He said he wants to take things slow, but how slow can we go, we are already sleeping together. He said it was because his last girlfriend really messed him up. So I wanted to know if he really wants a relationship with me or just sex? He also asks me if I am going to hook up with other guys, and I kid with him and say of course and then he gets sad until I tell him I am just kidding. I just don't know.
Well, perhaps you should tell him that if he really enjoys your company that he should either pick to be in an actual relationship with you or if he wants to remain friends and take things slow, you should stop having sex. If you turn off the sex and he still calls just as much, his intentions are admirable. If he kinda slacks off on giving you attention, you'll know it was more about sex than any real feelings. Again, this is just my opinion.
Im not sure where to start really but I think I like this guy that I met a while back. He's nice, sweet, caring, and cute. We have some things in common and he seems like a genuinely nice guy. One problem is is that I dont think he wants a relationship with me. We hang out all the time but I dont know. He says he just got out of this relationship and that he wants to be single for a while. I also just got out of a relationship and thought I needed some time alone till he came along. Is there anything I can do to win him over?
The best idea is to win him over by giving him what he wants. Don't compromise your own morals or anything, but just give him what he wants......time. Perhaps he'll think the same of you once he sees that you are understanding and you respect his wishes. Treat him as you would any other friend. If things are supposed to be, they will be. Fate will always flow.
Hey Crisco, this is ur good buddy Chris from applbees. Help me out here man. there is this girl and i am so in love with her...we dated for a while and her dad doesnt like us dating so he forced her to break up with me. Shortly after me and her were broke up she got a boyfriend...i didnt see her for like 3 months and then one night i called her and told her i wanted to come by and give her a hug cuz i havent seen her in a long time and i ended up gettin there at like 2am and staying till like 6...we fell in love all over again, but yet she is still with this guy. Then again a few weeks ago we have been talkin on the phone and stuff and i told her i wanted to see her again and she said ok and i went to her house at 1 and stayed till 5....when i left she wrote me and told me that she fell in love with me all over again and ever sence then we have been closer than we have been over the last few months, she tells me she loves me and we do all the things we used to when we dated, except she is still with that guy....man i love her so much and i want to spend the rest of my life with her i just dont know what to do...give her up and wait for her or do everything i can to get her back...i also know of her b/f cheating on her and i dont know if i should tell her or not...she tells me she wants to spend the rest of her life with me but this other b/f thing is confusing...help me out here bro
Chris, it seems as if something is not right on her part. If she truly is in love with you, it should be no problem for her to leave her current boyfriend. I've heard of you talk about this girl, so I know your intentions are completely admorable. However, I'm not sure of hers. Leaving the boyfriend she is with now should be her number one priority. Normally ultimatums aren't a good thing, but in this case, you need to find out if she's toying with your heart or if she really means it. Tell her you'd like her to break up with her boyfriend and be with you. It shouldn't be a difficult choice for her. I wouldn't bring up him cheating on her because there's already enough reason for her to break things off with the guy. I hope it all goes well.
im 16 years old and 8 months pregnant..my boyfriend ..which is the father and is 19..wont have anything to do with me..he wont even touch me anymore yea he comes over every now and then but he doesnt stay long..it breaks my heart because i love him so much..he says he loves me but it definately doesnt feel like it..what can i do?
You can drop the guy. Even if he is the father of your child, a father that doesn't care is worse than not having a father around at all. It will make you and the baby feel unwanted. I'm sure there are lots of guys out there that will love you unconditionally. Don't put up with his crap and let him know you aren't going to. Make sure he goes away quickly. Right now, this baby should be the most important thing in your life.
i need a random hookup w/ you. but i have a boyfriend...what should i do?!
Hehe, ::blushes::
Cheating is wrong. However, I now can totally see how people can be tempted to allow it to happen.
Thank you.
my boyfriend is a really conservative christian and doesn't want to have sex much cause he feels like its wrong for us to. But we've had sex before. I know that if I provoked him, he would do it. but I don't want to make him feel like he did something bad afterwards. What am I supposed to do? have sex and feel bad cause he feels bad, or not have sex and not satisfy my... hunger?
If you are really into sex and he isn't, this could lead to problems on down the road. Make sure he is worth not having sex with for long periods of times and if he's not, find someone who is a little more your style. Just because you want something that he doesn't, doesn't mean you are a bad person. Just don't make the mistake of finding someone else to satisfy that 'hunger' before you break things off with him. Sex is a very important thing to some people in a relationship. He's had sex before with you. Be careful, this could be a warning sign.
I just recently ended a relationship with someone I thought I loved. I tried too hard to be in love with him because I want nothing more than to have that connection with somebody. I was also attracted to someone else. I thought this person was attracted to me as well, but as it turns out, he has his eye on someone else. Me and this person are also pretty good friends. It's hard to be around them when I want nothing more than to be able to love him. I don't know what to do when I'm with him now, and I don't know where our relationship stands. We're still friends, but it's hard now that my feelings are out there and they're not being reciprocated. I'm realizing I also don't know how to talk to this person because before I found out he liked someone else, I was always flirting with him. I like this person, and I still want him to be apart of my life. I'm just afraid I'm going to spend my time hoping he'll eventually change his feelings about me. I just don't want to be disappointed if that doesn't happen.
Oh, isn't life grand? That was sarcasm by the way. If you like this guy and you know he doesn't have the same feelings for you, you should either try to keep them under wraps or actually talk to him about it. Talking is always a good thing. If it freaks him out when you tell him how you feel, then you'll know he isn't right for you. Your heart won't lead you the wrong way. It may cause you to pursue a relationship that will end in heartbreak, but it's only leading you the way so you'll learn.
So I have been with this guy for over a year now. He has been great. He was my first love. First kiss etc. But a couple months ago I met this wonderful guy. He knew I had a boyfriend and he had a girlfriend so we talked for a day or two and then he broke it off with me. I actually cried because he hurt me so bad. Then a few days later he calls and tells me he broke up with his girl. I told him I didnt know if I wanted to talk again. Well we started talking again and I skipped school with him later thats week and we spent the day together just talking and walking around the park. Well he kissed me twice while we were there. I was still going out with my boyfriend at this time. Well me and this guy kept getting closer and closer. I just loved being around him and I was able to see him daily at school. He wrote me notes and I wrote back :) Then my parents found out that I skipped and lied to them and now my dad and my brother hate the other guy. My mom kinda stayed neutral. Well my boyfriend found out I cheated on him yet still wanted to be with me. We are now still together but I am seeing the other guy again. I love him. But I love the boyfriend too. I dont know what to do. My mom thinks I should go with the new guy. Please help =\
Cheating is wrong, first off. You should never tell someone you care about them, then do something that totally makes that statement false. If you love one more than the other, be with that person. If you aren't sure, just take some time apart from both of them and see who you miss the most. Don't listen to what other people tell you. Do what's in your heart. That's all that matters.
I have a great boyfriend...most of the time. But for some reason he goes through these sorta phases where he's just...boring and not compassionate at all. We'll be sitting there and he's just in his own little world and we have no conversatoin at all. And then sometimes when we talk ont he phone, we dont talk at all..he i.m.s poeple and i sit and listen to him type...should i confront him? help me out.
Absolutely. Let him know how you feel about the situation. If for somereason he continues to do it, decide if you see the relationship going anywhere. If you do, tough it out and get over it, but if you don't....let it go. Judging by the problem you are having, I'm guessing you are young. Guys are a dime a dozen. Don't waste your life away with things you may later regret. Try to live life with no regrets.
i've been hanging out with this one guy and when he talks about other girls or gets phone calls from them i get mad. i dont show it but inside i get really jealous. can you give me any advice on how to be less possessive and less jealous?
I see this a lot. You should realize that until there is an actual commitment made, what he does in his own time, shouldn't effect you. you can just as easily hang out with other guys. Always keep that in mind. Then think, 'do I really want to stop talking about or hanging out with or talking on the phone to other guys?' If you do, let him know that you want to be more than just friends. If he's not ready, move on. That or wait. However, if you wait.....jealousy may insue. Always remember that you have just as much freedom as he has.
What do you do when you are in a long distance relationship with some one, but you can't make it work no matter what you do. I have very strong feelings for him, but every time we try to do something or see eachother, something always happens and I end up in dissapointment. How can I make this work and what should I do?
Sincerely,
-being neglected
I know how you feel. I've been there.
The best thing for you to do in this situation. is give it some time. Maybe one day, you'll be closer to this person and things can progress more. Don't continue to hurt yourself by reaching for something that always ends up in sadness. The timing just isn't right. Learn to fully be happy with yourself in the time being. Maybe once you've mastered that, the timing will be on your side and you can give it another chance.