Courtney19's advice column | Courtney19's Advice About Love Life

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Q: I was wondering, dont ask me why, but If you are dead is it considered rape or what?

its called necrophelia.. thats having sex with a dead person.

Q: I'm 15/f. I need to ask somebody a question. It's pretty long. I'll send it to your inbox, if you're interested in helping me. I don't want to put it on here, because someone that I know might figure out that it's me. It's about me and some guys. Thanks :)

ill awnser anything you need to ask.

Q: 14/F

I've never had a boyfriend, it doesn't bother me much though since i'm only fourteen and have a long time to go.

I've been asked out by some really nice guys but I always turn them down because i'm to shy and scared that he'll end up not liking me.

And i'd be nervous about kissing to. Like what do I say or do after the kiss is done? I'd feel awkward.

And what would we do for fun?

I can be really outgoing and funny with close friends though.

I'm moving in a few weeks so nobody will know me. So if a boy I like asks me out I want to finally say yes and not be scared. What can I do to help me from not freaking out over this so much?

Everyone freaks out. I remember in the seventh grade i had, had boyfriends but never kissed them. so i asked the guy that was my "boyfriend" if he would kiss me and just kept telling myself i was ready. So after school i kissed him really fast on the lips and ran out the door. I didnt say goodbye or anything. I broke up with him two days later. What a dissaster and how i made a fool out of myself..

Its every girls fear that the guy will not like who they really are once they get to know them.. even when your older you still have that fear. For not knowing what to say after the kiss. Its hard to tell you exactly what to say because it could happen any time at any place and it could be a long kiss a short kiss, a bad kiss or a amazing kiss. it all depends. try not to run away like me. lol.

If you feel like you should say yes then say yes. dont feel pressured if you just want a boyfriend but want to know the guy more. I'm 16 and get freaked out when i get asked out on dates. I was asked to prom and got butterflies and it was from a guy i have known half my life. Even my mom still gets nervous. when she started dating the guy she is now getting married to i had to tell her to calm down and relax because she was so scared something was going to go wrong. Just try to keep calm and be your self. if your not then it might not work if you guys date for a while.

hope i helped..

Q: Hey if my exbf was leing about his age should i date or not?

i dont think so. I have had guys lie about there age and guys i even liked then found out later they were 25 or so. They can get in major trouble for even kissing you so it would be in your best interest not to date him especially since he has already lied about his age.. who knows what he might lie about next.

Q: how can you get revenge on guys? if they have treated you like shit

Well give me details how exactly did he treat you like shit. cheat??

Q: Okay. So I'm 19 and I dated a guy for about a year, and he broke up with me in January because he thought I cheated on him (I didn't, by the way). I then went on a 2-month visit to another state. A couple days after I left, he told me that he was still in love with me and wanted me to come home. When I did come home, we got back together, and he told me that in the couple of days we were broken up, he had fingered a girl that I used to talk to (she and I weren't friends, more of just acquaintances). I didn't really think much of it -- I mean, we weren't together and he was kind of rebounding anyway.

The other day, he accidentally let it slip that he hadn't just fingered the girl, but he had started having sex with her and they had to stop because she was a virgin and it was hurting her. I'm not really upset that he did it (though, of course, it does hurt). Mostly I'm upset because he lied to me.

We started talking and he basically said he had lied because he didn't want to hurt me. I know he feels really bad for the whole thing, and regrets everything he did with her. I forgave him for lying, and of course for having sex with her. But since he told me, all I can think about is her. Like when I close my eyes, I can literally picture them together, having sex. I try not to let it bother me, because it's in the past and I know that I'm the only one he wants to be with. But it does bother me.

Am I wrong to be letting this bother me? I mean, I know that he would never cheat on me or anything like that. That's not my problem. My problem is the stupid past.

If I'm being stupid by letting this get to me, can someone tell me how to let go of it?

Your not being stupid. I have been some what in the same place you are. It took me a long time to forget about it and i still bring it up sometimes and talk about it with him. Its hard to imagine forgiving someone even if you wernt dating because it was just afew days later. Its good you are forgiving i try to be and alot of people tell me i am too forgiving and there is a such thing. I understand being upset that he lied to you but he did tell you and he did try to keep it from you so you wouldnt be hurt. that in its own way is sweet. Dont feel stupid because some people would take it much more dramatically i am actually proud that you are that forgiving..

hope i helped.

Q: ive had a big crush on my best friend for the longest time. in feb, i told him how i felt about him and he told me that he couldnt commit and would rather just be friends. he kept giving off the wrong ideas to me because thats the way he shows affection, by hugging flirting ect. but he did not like me. basically i kept getting hurt because i kept wanting to believe he did and then got let down. until one day i told him i got over him (not entirely true).

ever since we've become best friends and earlier this month he confessed somthing to me. he told me that he was going through a phase where he wasnt sure of his sexuality, in other words he thought that he was gay. but he said that he realized that he is strait. and he told me that when i told him i liked him, he wasnt sure what to do because really he does care about me but he couldnt see me like that. but now things are so totally different. the only thing keeping us apart is fear, he is afraid or commitment. he said that he cant afford a relationship because well lets just say his first girlfriends broke his heart and his second one was too clingy. and he doesnt want to ruin our friendship i guess.
god if only he knew that i wont be like them.

i really like him and he doesnt even know about it. he really seems to like me too, i think. i mean he always sits next to me, puts his arm around me, grabs my hands and plays with them, hugs me- and then says he wants another hug, waits for me, wants to hang out with me all the time, makes fun of me- by calling me pet names, and the other day i saw him looking at me in class and when i looked at him he turned away.

i gave up all hope on him until he hinted that he might like me but obviously he isnt gonna put his feelings on the line because he thinks that i dont like him. if thats what he really wants i could stand just being friends, its not that bad actually. but i really do like him and well i want to tell him but i dont exactly know how to. do u think that if i threw major hints then he might respond? what are some good hints that he wont miss? seriously i need help on this one. how do i let him know that i will be a great girlfriend and i wont break his heart. how can i make him get over his problems with commitment?
THANK YOU SO MUCH =)

Well since he seems to be throwing hints at you acting like he likes you then just respond back to him. Flirt back because if he responds possitivly to your flirting back then your on the right track. My best friend and i have almost dated endless times but its about the same thing we dont want to ruin our friendship because we think we will. But for a long time he didnt know i liked him and i was kind of in your shoes because his last girlfriend mis treated him. If he starts really responding to your flirting then one day when you guys are hanging out just either ask him if he likes your or tell him you like him. I mean being honest is the best thing you can do in this situation. And if he starts dating another girl your'll be upset and he wont understand why. Hope i helped.

Q: 16, female

well theres this guy, we're pretty good friends =) actually we call each other "best friends" as a joke but i fell hard for him last summer, because we would flirt soo much and it was adorable, lets just say hes a stud. but he didnt know i fell for him, and i didnt wanna say anything because he was interested in this girl and plus we were so close it would of been wayyy to awkward they but they ended up goin out and this hurt me =( keep in mind they're still going out and hes says its been like 10 months already!! anyways all summer i was sad, but we still kinda flirted. then i tried getting over him, and i finally realized i had no feelings other than just being friends with him and we could still hangout alot and i would be fine but now lately i am getting these "feelings" back. like tonight it was me and him and my cousin and like at the restaraunt i was like day dreaming and they started walking without me and then im like thanks guys!!! and they're already sitting down and i start walking over and he scoots in so i can sit by him. and then he like takes my phone, reads my texts, and i try to get it from him, we touch hands/hold for a sec but i just dont know! we were like this in the summer, then it stopped and now it seems like its starting again. and when we were sitting he put his arm like behind me, like on the seat (if you know what im talking about) but i just wanted to like lay my head on his chest, and once he got really close to my face and looked at me and just smiled and i couldnt stop thinking about how much i wanted to be with him. it would be soooo much easier if he didnt have a girlfriend but shes soo pretty and i know he loves her, she loves him and it kills me to see the "i love you, alot" in her profile, and it saying i love my boyfriend he is amazing and same for his. i hate when he talks about her, it makes me so jealous of what they have. i mean i want him to be happy but its killing me!! i wish i could hangout with him without having these feelings and talking to him wont help because he'll just say im sorry, i love sarah (his girlfriend) or it would just make things SOOO unbelievable weird between us. what should i do?! i hangout with other guys too, its not like i just hangout with him. i thought last summer, oh they wont last, maybe i'll just wait and see what happens, and they're still going STRONG.....these two quotes explain how im feeling EXACTLY.. "i hate the way you can push me to the limits with the things you do & then you know just the right time to say something sweet to make me fall for you all over again" *i know you just want to be friends .. and that's okay with me .. but please just stop making me fall even harder*.

My Best friend ever is the guy i am in love with. The only thing is is he knows. Our relationship started out like that. we are not together and infact he has a girl friend now but i still love him. him and i are how do i describe it.. waiting i guess. because if he was single we would date and almost have many times. you know you like him and it sounds to me like he likes you he just is very caught up in his girl friend. when they break up he will be by your side asking your questions about her and you'll be there to comfort him. the way you talk about it he flirts with you alot and seems to like you. its my best guess he does because if he didnt he wouldnt linger when you two touched. you would just be one of the guys to him. hope i helped at all.

Q: hi i am a 24 years old female, i have been with my current partner for 3 and a half years, i have a baby girl with him but, i am so miserable. i have met someone else on a chatroom whom i have spoke to many times and it is cause of this i have realised that i am trapped in my current relationship. i am scared to leave him as i dont want to hurt his feelings and fear i wouldnt be able to manage without him over the past 3 and a half years he has totally brain washed me to thinking this, he puts me down all the time and bullies me to make me feel worthless. i dont no what to do please can some one help me

My sister was in this same predicament for a year or so. She finally got the courage up to leave him but even after she always felt discouraged. But she also felt free and not worthless to the world. She started dating again soon after and has been happy ever since. infact her baby just turned 1 in march and the dad left and got married to the first girl could find and get knocked up. What i am trying to say is you will be alot happier with out him. especially if he is making you miserable.

bio

Hi I'm Courtney. I Love awnsering people questions and alot of my friends call me the therapist. But besides that my life practically evolves around photography and kayaking. I'm 16 years old and bound ready for life. I have had my share of heart ache and my share of drama. But i am more forgiving than most hard core christians. My family is difficult and when i say i know what you mean i truthfully do. I have been in a lot of hard places and have thought i was never going to get out and sometimes i think again i never will. I am open to everyone and will not push you away. I am not judgemental just because everyone judges me on the fact that my hair is about a inch long. I live in a very small town whith very ignorant people so i guess thats why i am the way i am. If you would like to talk i am always on myspace. www.myspace.com/c419420

thanks Courtney