I'm a 27 year old female from the west coast, deeply troubled by my own personal pschological inflictions which has inspired a personal interest in psychology. I general have a fresh insight on most things and because I've done almost everything wrong once, I have a lot of personal experience with a lot of crap.
Gender: Female
Location: San Francisco
Occupation: Unemployed
Age: 27
Member Since: December 19, 2004
Answers: 14
Last Update: January 3, 2005
Visitors: 2364
Main Categories:
Mental health
Friendship
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I cant ever find the right guy for me. Most guys get mad becuase i always turn them down and they think i do it to make myself look to good for them. I just want to be with someone that i can tlak to and someone i find attractive someone who can make me laugh and someone who i can have a good time with. I cant seem to find anyone out there. (link)
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I used to think I was messed up because I would dump all guys within a month. It was really about two weeks that I would get sick of them, and then I spent the next two weeks trying to figure out how to dump them. Anyway I figured out it wasn't that I was fickle, it was that my consious naturally rejected those that weren't right for me. I learned that if I was friends with a guy for a long time before we dated (as opposed to jumping right into something with someone that I was attracted to), the lifespan of my relationship would last much longer. Keep turning men down and don't settle because eventually someone fantastic will come your way and you'll be ready for them. And don't set your standards lower, they are perfect right where they are.
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I have alot of guy friends that are juniors and seniors and i have been asked to prom a few times....but see, im only a sophmore...Do you think its ok to go that young or should i wait and let it be more special? (link)
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Phfff, too young. You should go, have a great time. Even if its not really special this time, you get *another* one. They can go uphill from here, or this might be the one you remember, but go enjoy yourself because you *are* young and high school and this kind of stuff only happens to you once in a lifetime.
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I am 6 years out of high school and I am still with my high school boyfriend. We are not married but have a child together. He has never cheated on me or anything, but now he is saying we should get our own places so that we can save some money (because this way I would get help from the state). He wants to do this for about a year, and he also says we need a little time apart because we've been together so long and been through so much. I don't agree with it, and I don't really understand it, but we've talked about it and talked about it and I really don't have a choice in the matter. He says he'll be over all the time and that I can keep EVERYTHING at my place, that he just wants to keep his clothes in his place. He's not as affectionate as he used to be, but he still wants sex. Guys, help me out here, what is he trying to tell me, is there any hidden agendas I should be concerned about or should I just believe him that he wants to try and save money and work on getting new things like furniture and/or car(s)? He says he feels we're going nowhere fast right now with his two dead end jobs. So I'm guessing he thinks this will be the easy way out? I'm not sure how to read him right now. What would you guys think if your guy wanted to do this...also, if any guys know what this means, please I need some insight. Should I trust this?? (link)
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Although the only guy that answerd this was Carl, and Carl doesn't really bullshit around, said to trust it, I'm inclined to dissagree. What's this "space" bullstuff? That's a little contrived to me. Personally, I would propose to him that you lie to the state, and say that you are a single income household with no other occupant than your child and stay together and see how he takes it. I mean is that really the issue, or does he need to be away from you? If that's the case, why does he need to be away from you? That's not how to behave in a commited relationship. Anyway, I don't really think you have a choice, if the man wants to be away, or has other devious intentions, you can't hold him close, nor should you want to. Let him go, if things fall apart, they fall apart, but refusing to comply with the situation isn't going to make things better if he just wants to get away. *shrug* "If you love something, set it free, if it comes back to you, its yours to keep." What else can you do?
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I'm 35, and married for three years. I got married cause I was lonely and married the first guy who came around after my boyfriend and I split. In the meantime, boyfriend married someone else and has two kids. Recently boyfriend and family needed a place to live. They now live with us. I'm still in love with him. We've had sex, with our spouses approval... It was awesome as always. I want him more than my husband... husband is lousy in bed. Boyfriend loves his wife, and really only wants her, and a traditional marriage... without his ex being in love with him. I just need some advice... or a friend... someone to understand me. (link)
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You aren't really being fair to an innocent party in all of this, and that is your husband. Whatever your reasons were for marrying him, his were most likely honorable. You made a commitment, and I know this is America, and commitment doesn't mean anything to anyone, but darnit, you shouldn't get married out of loneliness, but out of a desire to spend the rest of your life with someone.
Your ex is out of the question, period. So get him out of your life, you can't heal from someone when they are living in your house. This will continue to cause you pain and torment and continue to spawn negative feelings towards your current husband.
Now you need to decide if you want to spend the rest of your life with your husband. Do you want to be with him enough to work through problems such as an unsatifying love life. I mean you can go to sexual therapists, however whether they work or not is questionable, some people just suck in bed. If this is someone you want to be with (not just someone that makes you not alone), then put your heart into the marriage, and don't sleep with anyone outside of the marriage with or without permission. Every polygamous marriage I have known has failed miserably. If you don't want to be with this guy, quit wasting your time and his.
Don't worry about being alone if you leave him either. Some of the best relationships I've seen in my life were by people that obtained them when they were older.
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I'm a 30 yr old male. My situation is a bit complicated. Several years ago I became very close to this girl. Problem was she was seeing someone else and her family expected her to remain with this person. Our relationship was never really defined, but we were close. Abruptly, things changed. She wouldn't see me or talk to me anymore. I suspect that someone may have mentioned me to her family,which caused a problem. We were supposed to talk about it but were not able to after that. Anyway, this was seveal years ago and I've always regretted not getting the chance to say goodbye or tell her what she meant to me. I would like to write a letter resolving these issues, but seeing as so much time has gone by, I don't want to come across as a nut or scare her off.
What kind of things should I write and what should I avoid writing? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. (link)
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I had a friend once, that will probably forever mean more to me than anyone I have/will ever know. He helped shape who I am today, and I am eternally in debt to him for that. However he moved and I lost contact with him. Then a few years ago I ran into him, and my pride and my wishing to not look like a "nut" kept me from telling him how amazing I thought he was and what a difference he made in my life. 11 days later he died, suicide. Not saying something to him is the ONLY thing I regret in my life. What would it have hurt, what if I didn't get to talk to him again, I don't anyway. Don't ever keep yourself from spreading beauty in the world. Write her and tell her what she meant to you, tell her you regret not being able to say goodbye. She should know you better anyway and know that you aren't a nut. So she doesn't talk to you, what difference would that make from now? But live your life without regrets, take those chances and do one thing a day that you fear, if you don't you don't grow
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i was dating this guy for about 3 months and things got pretty serious. we spent every day together and he would stay and my house and vice versa. his ex girlfriend called one night and he broke up with me to see if things would work with her and they didnt. he called about a month after we broke up and said that he made a huge mistake for breaking up with me cause i was the best thing that had ever happened to him. we got back together and things were great, actually better than ever or so i thought. one day when she called again he started getting weird again and told me that he once again needed time. i took all of my stuff from his house and said that i wasnt playing second best anymore. i gave him all i had and thought that this was it. that he was the one. and unfortunately im a mess over him. i know he treats me horrible in this situation but ive never been so inlove with someone before. and i dont know what to do. someone just help. please. (link)
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I recently read a book called "He's just not that into you". It detailed all the stupid things men do, that basically tell you that they are trying to tell you that you are not it. A man that is in love with you and thinks you are the best thing that has happened to you does not leave you. He does everything he can to keep you. Men that want to be with you don't "need time", they need you. I realize you say that you have never been this "in love" before, but you have to stop and realize that you love yourself more. This is a stepping stone and you will feel this and more with someone who can reciprocate. Walking away now only makes you a stronger person that can stand up for herself, her rights and her wills. You also leave yourself single for a better man to realize how truly amazing you are. Sometimes its just easier to get over something when you realize that no matter what you feel, they don't feel it. Men aren't complicated like we make them, this guy just isn't that into you. Free yourself from this addiction to an emotional messed up man, to go be radiant and do things that make you happy.
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