I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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Member Since: December 31, 2006
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Last Update: August 30, 2022
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I am days away from reaching 18 years of age. It’s very nervewrecking because it’m almost in my last stage of adolescence. I know that I still have a lot more to learn, but for the last few days, I feel very sad. Changes will happen for the better, but I feel like it’s overwhelming me more and more each day. My family always keep telling me to “act like a traditional lady” and they always splan everything out for me. I get that it’s part of our culture to appeal and create a good image as a lady, but to me, it’s a bit weird and it sounds like I’m born to impress people. I am willing to grow as a person that I know I will be, and not the person people want me to become. It has taken a toll on me to the point where I stopped doing daily activities that I used to love doing, even freshening up or dressing nicely feels like a chore. I rarely talk to my mother since she’s always busy and she has her own problems too. I don’t want her to have her to listen to me because she might tell me that i’m overreacting and that i should be thankful because she’s still able to feed me. I can take any criticism towards my feelings and thoughts. (link)
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I think there's more to this than the pressures of adolescence and growing up. That doesn't help but it appears that this is a mental health issue to get properly diagnosed. You should see your family doctor. When a person stops enjoying things they love or have a passion for and suddenly stop enjoying life it's a sign that something is wrong.
You may have depression but you may also have a mood disorder. In the case of bipolar disorder a person exhibits depression and has a total lack of interest in things they really enjoyed or every day life. They also have moods that range from very dark, to normal and then into mania which is an euphoria that doesn't die down. In that state you may have grandiose ideas or be out of touch with reality. These changes happen over a course of two weeks and need to remain solid like that this long for it to be bipolar disorder.
Not everyone with the disorder will experience manic episodes as a lot of people have the type where it's just moods rapid cycling from depths of depression back to happy and constantly rapid cycling without relief. Both are treatable as is depression and other mental health issues,
You really need to get before your family doctor and tell him/her exactly what is going on with sudden depressed feelings and moods all over the place and have them figure out whether there is anything wrong and refer you to a psychiatrist to confirm and treat it if there is.
The other thing is to understand your parents mean well but that you have to make mistakes and figure things out for yourself but do so in a way it won't embarass them and that reflects on your culture. Be who you are and let the chips fall where they may as that's really all you can do.
If you go around trying to be the picture perfect image of what you think they want you to be you'll be miserable. You have to get in tune with who you are and your own self worth. You're here to do much more than impress people. You may not know your purpose yet but it will unfold naturally. Forget this other stuff and let yourself be. You don't need to have all the answers either. Nobody truly does.
Also, a lot of times with mental health issues it's quite common that people neglect hygene and appearance or find it a complete chore. Even if your mother is busy she's not too busy to help you. She needs to know what is going on and where all these feelings stem from and for how long it's been an issue. She's the one who can get you to the help you need. It's better to be honest than suffer further with this.
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Rating: 5
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Thank you for taking the time to answer my question😊. I’m much more active these days with but I still feel the same. It has been a week since I started to feel horrible. I have plans on going to a doctor, but unfortunateky I don’t have enough money or resources to travel out of town and get an appointment and I’m conflicted if this is just me being lazy or really having mental health issues. My family wouldn’t support me in this because they would say that im just being lazy
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