I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male Member Since: December 31, 2006 Answers: 3591 Last Update: August 30, 2022 Visitors: 141420
Main Categories: Mental health Parenting Doesn't Fit Any Of These Categories View All
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So since I'm not living on residence for university I decided on going to my schools orientation week. I had to pay 140 dollars for it because of all the activities going on for it, for example going to the amusement park, touring downtown and going to the beach. Some of the activities that interested me the most take place during 8pm and my mom is saying I can't stay on campus past 5pm cause it's not safe to be there because of the rape reputation the school has. The thing that is pissing me off the most is that I didn't even want to go to that school in the first place but my mom kept insisting I go to that school instead of another school I wanted to go to. So now I'm going to the school she wants and she's telling me I can't stay past 5 because of certain types of people that will be there?? She knew what type of school it was so why am I even going there?? I wouldn't be complaining if all the good activities were in the daytime but they aren't and I don't wanna waste ONE HUNDRED AND FOURTY DOLLARS (that I had to pay for myself, she didn't pay for it) just to go to one event and stay home for the rest, don't get me wrong I'm not going to all the events like the orientation parties that end around midnight or the boat cruise (which I really wanna go to but my mom said no) what can I do to make her understand? She called her friend who goes to my uni for her doctorate degree and she basically told my mom whatever she does don't let me go because there's certain rape situations that always happens smh. How else am I going to make friends when I go to a commuter school? Why would I talk in class when I'm paying to be there? I checked all the clubs out for my school none of them look interesting enough, anyways I'm a 17 year old female btw and thank you if you have answered my question (link)
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Do you have a friend or roommate that can be trusted that also goes there? I was thinking that if you had an older friend or someone mom can trust go and be a spotter for you and keep track of your well-being that mom could relax. Give her the cell # of this person to check in.
The other thing you could do is get a relative or someone older you trust and she trusts the opinion of. Explain your situation to this person, the costs and what you paid and where and when you are going to certain events and what they are. Have them explain how important this is to you.
Another adult needs to illustrate to her that although sexual assaults have happened there that it's not a huge number and that you are aware of your surroundings, situations but it's bloody unrealistic that come 5p.m. you have to home and be locked in because of some idiots lurking looking to harm others. Get self-defense lessons if this is a real irrational fear of hers that you could be harmed. Also, there must be campus and other security.
I would not walk alone in those areas after dark but rather in pairs and do all you can to be secure but other than that mom needs you to go around like a normal person would on campus 17 or not and experience all the things from Frosh that everyone else is doing and meet friends from your college and even your own dorm. It's more than just having fun but rather networking and finding people who can help you later on.
I see why mom is concerned but it is irrational fear and wanting to control a situation to protect you from something that isn't as real or big as she's making a situation to be. Someone needs to prove this to her but you can't convince anyone of anything but you can make a point and have others back you up.
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Rating: 4
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The problem with my school is that they split everyone up based on their program so none of my friends have the same frosh week as me, yes we can go together but once we get there we have to split up, I'm not living on residence cause the school is an hour bus ride away so I don't have any roommates and the frosh organizers said we are not allowed to come with people who don't go to the school, so basically I have to make friends which I will but my mom won't understand that
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