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April 4, 2016Answers:
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I have experienced life, long enough to come to a realization that there is no way out but to "Be Your Self!", to honor and celebrate who you are! We all are unique and important pieces of the big puzzle, the "game of life" and the Universe itself. The world would have been incomplete without each of us! I am grateful to advicenators.com for giving me this platform to motivate and empower others.
"Life is an expression of who you are than suppression; allow yourself to paint your canvas..." ~ Me
"You cannot teach people anything. You can only help them discover it within themselves" ~ Galileo
Much love and blessings ))
advice
I dated a guy for two months. He's 27 and I'm 24. He was really sweet but seemed to think I was a 'goddess' and said he could imagine dating with the intent of marriage. I broke up with him because of the pressure- this is my first relationship and he seems ready for things I'm not ready for. Also I'm in a late bloomer so I'm in college and I have no idea where I'll be in 1 year. It was my birthday and he sent told me he wishes me the best and sent me a long love poem. He also said he knows I made the right decision for myself by breaking up. Is it normal to feel like I want him back even though breaking up seemed healthier? Should I ever contact him again?
You did not mention how long it has been since you broke up with him. You had to part from him due to the presssure that he wanted to date with the intent of marriage. It seems like you were fine until he sent you wishes and a long poem on your birthday, is it? I understand your dilemma )) Are you saying that you are now ok to date him with the intent of marriage?
No doubts he must be a very sweet guy. But my rule of thumb is whenever in doubt stop and introspect without judging. If you really had the intense feelings for this guy, you wouldn't have been asking this question. He is a nice guy and deserves a thank you from heart with lot of best wishes. I am not trying to discourage you, however based on what you described, you seem to be touched with his gesture of remembering your birthday and the poem.
Yes, it is absolutely normal to feel what you are feeling. We all go through these feelings at some point in our life. However experience says that this is not the last time you would have these feelings. You are still young and may find someone who is more of your match in terms of the timings of your college and other things. I would not have given you this suggestion if it was a long terms relationship where you both have seen the good and not so good in each other and yet want to be together ))
Do me a favor and ask yourself a question. Would you be more happy and at peace if you come across someone who is willing to spend time knowing each other and at the same time loving and caring? Would you rather be with someone who would be close to you after your college? Do you really think you would have had this feeling and doubt had he not sent you the poem? If your heart crys out loadly with 'yes', then you can think about contacting. In that case you can open up to him and tell him that you respect his maturity and visuon to date with the intention of marriage. However you are not ready for it yet and would like to give ourselves some time. And I am sure based you your description about the guy, he would understand your point of view. But you need to be open about how you feel and how you want to proceed. If there is even slightest of hesitation, let it go for now!
Again this is not to say that he is not a nice man to marry. All I am saying is that you already know that you did not want to rush into marriage. And when in doubt, I would always wait or let it go. If he has to be in your life, he will be no matter where you are.
I know it's not easy to take an answer like this with the matters of heart, but I am saying all this from experience. And I don't know why, but just got a intuitive feeling that he is not exactly compatible to your personality. I may be wrong so forgive me for that ))
Good luck and happy loving
(Rating: 5) thank you for your kind and wise words :)