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Member Since: December 31, 2006
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Last Update: August 30, 2022
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Hi so I have a friend who is in the group of friends that I'm in. She is such a nice and loyal friend, but the rest of the group don't really consider her their friend. Now don't get me wrong my group of friends are really nice and caring, I don't know why they don't but they don't really invite her to things that we do. When I did stick up for her and try to tell them that she should be invited to these things they just didn't really say anything because they don't like drama. So we have organised a big get together that everyone in our group is going to, but the person who organised it didn't invite her. I asked her if she invited her and she said that it's too many people. I think I will just not go to this gathering, and do something with her instead, but I'm really not sure because I will miss out on things that they will probably talk about a lot. I don't like drama either and I think they find it annoying that I keep telling them we should include her more. I don't want to miss out on it but I think it might be the right thing to do. I'm not sure. What do you think I should do? (link)
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Your gut has already told you. Trust it. I'm not sold on your friend's being the nice and caring people you think they are. They are sending this person a message by freezing her out completing by non-invites on purpose or balking if you bring her along. It's a form of bullying.
For whatever reason they hate and or don't get her and haven't the balls to tell her or you why. You did the right thing to stick up for yourself and for her. People don't have to love or include people they don't like but they have no right to put you and her in this position continually. You're at a crossroads unless they grow up ditch them.
As for your friend she likely wouldn't want to go to that party anyway but deserved an invite and it was obviously deliberate that left her out. I would instead spend the evening with her doing things that you both identify with and find fun than missing this party. Will you be missing out? Not really but you will if you don't focus on yur friend.
Why? She's loyal to you. No matter what happens with the others this one will stay and have your back. You have hers. That means more than the superficial friendship with the others who are acting like brats. Unless they can give you a legit reason for being so awful towards this girl you should give them no mind, send a message of your own and have your own plans with this new pal. That's what I would do. It's the right thing and will benefit you now and longterm.
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Rating: 5
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I really appreciate this! Before I was still unsure but now I'm certain I shouldn't go to it. Thanks.
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