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E-mail: Gbox360@me.com
Gender: Female
Location: Virginia
Member Since: January 8, 2015
Answers: 214
Last Update: October 27, 2016
Visitors: 10603
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It seems like every day I go through the same issues. I feel like the whole world is against me and I feel useless and unwanted. I'm homeschooled and don't live near my church so am away from people my own age 90% of the time. When I am around people my own age, I always try to be the person they want me to be. I just realized that I don't know who I really am and don't know who the real me is. I don't get calls very often, but when I do, I always go over how I'm gonna act. I always act super happy, even times when I'm not. I've always felt like outside of family, there is no such thing as a true friend. Those that I get real close to that I'm not related to, always seem to let me down in the end. i used to feel I could trust everybody, but now I feel I can trust no one. For the past few days, I've just felt like crying. I'm always worried about how my life is gonna end up. I'm always worried that I'll fail at a job, relationship, friendship, family relationships, marriage, parenting, everything. I'm 16 wanting to move out when I'm 18, and constantly worried that I won't be able to pay the bills and will be a burden for my roommate, I don't even know how To move out. I feel like the whole world is against me, and it's become where I feel the only one I can truly depend on is myself. My cousin is the only one I believe will always be there for me through to the end of time. I know I don't have depression, because I'm not unhappy 100% of the time, it's just gotten where I go through major mood swings, and they are really hurting me. I'll be happy one minute and I tend to overthink things and it causes me to lose it. I usually keep my true feelings bottled up till I'm alone. I'm constantly thinking of moving out and feel very unhappy with my life. I feel helpless, unwanted, and trapped. I go through major mood swings over little things and its made me lose control of my thoughts causing me to feel like hurting myself even over the little things. Sometimes I do hurt myself. I usually try not to let things bother me, but lately I've been helpless. I feel I will never make friends, and that my life will be a total failure. This isn't something I will ever tell my parents, and I don't want to talks someone over the phone because it makes me uncomfortable. I am fine using websites though. There are many times when I'm happy so I have to ask...Whats wrong with me? And how can I get help without anyone knowing? (link)
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Everything you are listing are signs of depression. To someone who struggles with depression, I can tell. I suggest you get help for it. You can let these things go by, because they won't, and it will get worse. You should take medication, get therapy, or both. You don't have to tell your parents everything, just that you get really sad a lot and you think you should get help. You may think this is small, but it's serious and can get bigger. You can at least take all natural anti-depressants. I take one called St. John's Wart (not as weird as it sounds) and it really helps me. You should talk about these things to people, it could help. I know everything could seem hard and that it is crashing down, but it will all work out how it is supposed to. The world is not against you and you are not useless or unwanted. Everyone has a purpose, and people want you even if it doesn't seem like it. Things might seem heavy, but you can cross that bridge when you get there. Once you get in college, friends will come easier. You'll be fine, and everything will be fine. You can talk to me whenever if you need it.
Hope this helps~
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Rating: 5
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Thank you so much! I hope you don't mind, I did ask another question having to do with the subject to your advice column page
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