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June 27, 2011Answers:
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February 22, 2015Visitors:
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advice
My husband is in the military and after 13 years he is separating due to medical reasons. He wants to move back to our hometown to be near both of our families, primarily his mother and aunt. Well, I am hesitate. I didn't have the best childhood due to both of my parents being alcoholics. They both still drink heavily and can get violent and emotional when doing so. My oldest brother still lives in the area and drinks excessively as well. To top it off, my sister-in-law and her husband live about an hour away and love to drink and party and are somewhat open swingers. Their sexually active 15 year old daughter is free to do as she pleases and their 12 year old son is often left on his own. While I respect my husband for wanting to be near his mother and his disabled aunt, I am having a hard time dealing with the fact of being near the rest of our family. While it would be nice to be near family, this is not the situation I have envisioned. I don't want our children thinking drinking excessively and having multiple partners is okay. Should I accept the fact we are moving back and deal with the situation as it comes or continue trying to talk my husband into moving somewhere else?
Speak to your husband and voice your concerns. Depending on how often your husband wants to see his mother and aunt it could be possible to move within striking distance so that he would travel a few hours to see them every couple of weeks. If he wants to see them more often and potentially help take care of his aunt then maybe you should consider moving somewhere larger and having them come stay with you.
It's also possible to live close to your family and not have them so involved in your lives that they influence you and your kids, but that is up to you and how much you let them be a part of your family. Remember that just because your children witness this behaviour it doesn't mean they will think it is ok, especially if you have taught them otherwise.
(Rating: 5) Thank you so much! Moving closer, but not all the way was the answer.