About kittenlover2000
I'll answer question on pretty much anything, though as I'm studying psychology and from past experience, I'm best at answering questions about love life, mental illness as well as giving career advice or job advice. I am also really into fashion and love these types of questions!. Oh and any pet help...
I have an average rating of 4.5 on here. Only inbox me questions that are short please and not about death/suicide. Honestly, there's nothing more dull that opening your inbox to 'I want to die'.
Anyway, ask away and I'll try to help out :)
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Gender: Female
Location: England
Member Since: April 30, 2011
Answers: 691
Last Update: November 13, 2017
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Hi,
I'm 18 f - I got into college this year. I decided to start college early and registered for classes during the summer quarter. Now I'm here and I've been taking classes for 3 weeks. I have a problem that's been giving me a lot of trouble lately- I feel like such a loner because I'm always eating by myself in the dining hall.
I love my classes and the campus is amazing. My problem is that there aren't many people here over the summer. So there are no student clubs and all of the student centers around campus are closed until the Fall Quarter. So I only meet people in class, the dorm and at a church.
My classmates are nice- sometimes I hang out with a few of them- but all of them are sophomores or older so they live off campus and can't eat in the dining hall. All of my church friends live off of campus too.
The people at my dorm are nice but they're all exchange students or upperclassman. The upperclassman already have their friendship groups and the exchange students all sit together and speak their own language. The freshmen exchange students seemed friendly for a couple of weeks. But now I've realised they are only interested in befriending people from their native country because they're always blocking me out. So I'm finding it really hard to make friends cause I'd just be forcing myself into situations where people don't want an extra random stranger to bother them.
I'm quiet and making new friends has always been slow for me. I've tried reaching out a lot more than usual and it's been working pretty well in class/ at church. But I'm finding it so stressful to sit at a big table by myself in the dining hall. Should I just eat by myself for the rest of the summer and try not to be bothered by it? I have 3 weeks left until Fall. I really don't know what I should think about my situation.
Thanks for reading. I'd really appreciate any advice
Hi.
Just from reading this advice I can tell that you are very very similar to myself. I am 18, and about to go to uni. The doctor has also diagnosed me with social anxiety.
I'm wondering-if things will be different in three weeks time e.g: chance to meet people at clubs why are you so worried?
I have trouble with this too, but the more you sit alone for lunch the more closed off you will become. Its not because people don't like you and that's why you're sitting on your own. Its because people think you don't want to be disturbed and that you are quite content with sitting by yourself. Clearly, you are not. This means that you are not an introvert-but just quite a shy person. And hey, that's ok.
So, I could now write at length stories and explanation of how to overcome this. But if I'm honest, I'm still 'getting better' myself. Therefore I will provide you with some links that ill help you to help yourself.
I would also suggest that you try volunteering. Its great and is a really cool way to make friends. And hey, you do have friends, just they're not around at lunch times. I mean, that's fine, most people at work eat lunch alone. So perhaps something you have to learn is how to be happy in your own company.
Try these:
http://www.moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk/mildmoderate/SocialAnxiety.asp
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/wiki/Overcoming_social_anxiety_and_shyness
http://advancedriskology.com/alone/
I must say you don't seem to have quite as severe anxiety as myself, nevertheless its good to try to help yourself when your own personality is making you feel distressed. Good luck!
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(Rating: 5)
Thank you, that was really helpful and reassuring. I hope things get better for you too :) I joined a swing dance club and it's so fun- if that's your sort of thing I'd highly recommend it!
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