Member Since: April 19, 2012
Answers: 40
Last Update: November 17, 2013
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adviceman49
Razhie
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I am 21 and I've been dating a guy for 7 months. We've definitely had our downs and ups, but we always find a way to make our relationship work. In the past, this guy has hooked up with a lot of girls and also had a few long term relationships being 1-3 years long. At first, I thought he had a commitment phobia, but then he asked me out and I was happily surprised. Since then I have caught him flirting with other girls on fb, accused him of cheating once and had my upset moments where I've ended up leaving his house. When I mentioned that I thought he was cheating, he told me that is absurd because he would never do that to me since he's had numerous girls cheat on him in the past. But because of the messages I seen on fb, I get this feeling that he might be playing me though he calls me his gf... Yes i looked at his fb cuz i was suspicious. Now on the flip side: he is making time for me more, insists on cooking for me and is overall becoming the guy I hoped he was when we started seeing eachother. And here's where my dilemma begins.. I met this other guy not too long ago and we hit it off instantly. My first thought was 'why didn't I meet you before I started seeing this other guy?' and we instantly connected. Now this 2nd guy wants to date me. He says I'm the perfect girl for him and we cuddled once which was the most amazing feeling I've had with a guy before, though I feel horrible for doing so. I mean, just when I start making things work with one guy another one shows up and makes me question seeing the first guy. What do I do? I know you are going to say 'if you fall for 2 guys choose the second' and whatnot... but I just cant bring myself to do that. I like them both! I've even made a list of pros and cons between both and it comes out very close. I feel like ive known the second guy longer even though we've only known eachother a short while and I feel like the guy I've been seeing is trying his best for me and that we could be happy in the end... I've never been in this situation before. (link)
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This is a tough one.
First of all let's consider age - perhaps the 2nd guy is better at communicating because he's more mature. He's probably had more relationships and more practice. It's impossible for anyone to give you a "right" answer in this situation. But my feeling is...would you be seeking attention from someone else if you were happy in your relationship? Perhaps because of the early trust issue you are having trouble fully committing to him?
Maybe you should take a break from boy 1 for a week as well as boy 2. Maybe some alone time would give you perspective on what you want?
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Rating: 5
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I agree with the trust thing you mentioned and I actually just randomly met the second guy.. by luck I guess. I've never seeked attention cuz I try my best to make my relationships work.. but after taking a break, I know who I'd be happier with, despite the dfficulty. Thanks
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