22/m
Hi,
I seem to get really nervous-almost scared about talking in groups. It's weird because if I'm talking to someone one on one it's fine usually. But when the attention of everyone is on me, I turn bright red, my voice cracks, and I start panicking. It's also quite because often it happens when I'm in a professional environment with friends, e.g. a training session with my colleagues.
It usually starts when I have to introduce myself, and talk about myself. I've tried everything you would expect- picture everyone naked, relax, breathe, do it often (introductions etc), remember everyone wants you to succeed and to calm down, pretend noone is around, etc etc.
I've always been shy, but I remember when in high school- I would always volunteer to speak in debates in my school club- I don't know where our c why things turned. I was willing to let it go as a flaw, but it's starting to affect my career now, to the extent of me nearly calling in sick just so I don't have to do it.
Seriously, any help will be welcome - I'm desperate for solutions!
Thanks.
I have anxiety to. I'm only 17-but this is what I do to help myslef.
1)Put myself in public speaking situations. For example, volunteer as a spokesperson for somewhere. Force yourself to speak to people on the phone not by email. Get work experience or volunteer with things like scouts/guides or whatever. If you arange things like this where you can't get out of speaking to people, then you'll have to. You'll feel scared on the day and jsut ebfor ethe event, but amazing afterwards. The thing is the more you put yourself in these horrible situations, the less they will seem so scary.
2)Get wise about anxiety. It is a very common illness-you're not alone by any stretch. Understand what it is. It's not going to kill you-it's your fight or flight response which is designed to keep you safe. Whilst it feels really rubbish-it's only there to keep you safe.
3)Try medidation. Take a few minutes out every day to meditate. Research 'mindfulness' online-it helped me no end. Also, acknowledge that ok, you feel anxious to speak in front of others, but just acknowledge this and let the thought pass, without commiting to it (dont allow the thought to get you anxious, just be aware its there)
4) Don't try to 'not' think about your nerves. If I told you now, whatever you do, do not think about a pink elephant-guess what you though about? So just role with it. Allow yourself to feel this way and use the nerves to your advantage.
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Thanks for the advice! The reason I waited so long, was because I had training yesterday with my colleagues. I was so close to calling my manager and telling him that I was unavailable to come in today because I was sick. But I went, and I was asked to introduce myself first (isn’t it always the way?!) and just before, my heart was pounding. When I got going though, I was fine. I did it all completely without fail. I was relaxed, cool, composed – thanks to your advice. So thanks again!
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