I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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Member Since: December 31, 2006
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Last Update: August 30, 2022
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I am 27, I am an introvert and I also suffer from depression.
I have no friends, I have not had real friends in about 3 years now. Each time I think of the idea I seem to shoot it down. I even had oppertunites to hang out with a few people and I find myself with very little interest in proceeding what seems to be no more then hi and bye. I ask myself " Why aren't. I interested in friends?" I can't seem to find a real valid reason other then they are drama and always hang out. I am young and should have friends but don't really want them?. (link)
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It's two problems not one that you are dealing with. The problem with not wanting to make friends or let people in is a paralyzing fear of rejection or them not liking you in the long run.
There's no need to be shy with people. You have a ton of qualities even if you don't see it yet that people desire in a true friend.
These people text you and invite you places because they genuinely want to know you. Most would be saddened if they knew how difficult it was to allow them in.
The second problem is depression. I know a lot about mental health and this area. I have to be brutal with you. Your depression is handling you and running your life and you're not handling it or fully in control but need to be.
It has full control and will continue to screw you over in the friends and lack of department unless you address your fear of people, lack of interest in others and what is holding you back from functioning normal in that area.
You need a psychiatrist (a new one as current hasn't helped) and perhaps a change of treatment and medication as it will equal a shift in thinking and ability to live how you want.
You need to tell him/her everything you just told us about inability to make friends and lack of interest in people at all as well as shyness and how long you have lacked any friends. It's not right but you can fix it with help.
You do need help and a doctor who will make you aggressively deal with it and depression. That's the key. Don't deal with therapists as they have no training in this or ability to handle mental problems. This is a job for a psychiatrist to support you with. Be open and honest and share this info with them.
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