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Gender: Female
Location: Texas
Member Since: December 18, 2013
Answers: 8
Last Update: December 20, 2013
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24f. I did something ridiculously stupid, I'm furious with myself for following the urge... I went and explored my boyfriend's messages on facebook. I have no suspicion of him cheating on me, I trust him completely, and I expected to find nothing.
Thinking logically, now, I really did find nothing. On-line flirting is not a crime in my mind, nor does it count as cheating. I don't believe in "emotional cheating," nor am I concerned about him doing this and causing problems within our relationship. We both have many friends of the opposite sex, and are both pathological flirts, really. Granted, I flirt to get what I need out of people (yes, I manipulate people, but I'm a patient advocate. Sometimes I have to build quick rapport with people in order to get them to help me help my patients) and he seems to just... flirt. Granted, he loves the validation, and I understand that, being aware of his history and how tough it's been for him. Knowing with all my heart and soul that he loves me deeply, and that I am the one he wants and wants to come home to, I don't have a problem with this.
Most of the time.
Sometimes I do feel like I have a problem with it, and when I see flirty messages with a random girl, it gets to me a little. I try very hard not to let it, but sometimes my emotions overrule my logical brain, which I despise. Logically, I know I should just let myself feel, talk it out with him, and ease my mind. But then I'd have to admit to him that I saw the messages - which is my own stupid fault in the first place. I'm not even going to pretend I wasn't snooping. I was.
What the heck is wrong with me?
I HATE girls like this. But I don't believe ignorance is bliss, either. I think what upsets me the most is that it's behind my back. He was messaging her from MY apartment while I was busy working from home. But I'd never have known had I not done the stupid girl thing and read his messages. He does things like leave his facebook up and his phone out because he trusts me not to be one of those crazy jealous girlfriends and "check up" on him - and normally I'm not. I don't know, maybe I just wanted to know what he'd been up to lately, since we've both been very busy.
I feel like I'm being irrational. Mind, I still don't think he's actually doing anything with this girl or anyone other than myself. But why am I so upset from having found flirty messages when it's my fault I found them in the first place?
Someone please give me some insight, here... (link)
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You are not stupid...your like all girls including me. Facebook is a meat market...yes, that's what I said and it's too enticing for a man when a girl continuely flirts with him. Be on guard. My boyfriend and I both got off Facebook for this very thing, to keep our relationship cause we know what it's all about... we met there. He saw all the guys that were commenting and flirting with me, and I saw all the girls flirting with him. I was loving the attention from the guys...he also from the girls. So...as a loving sacrifice for our relationship...we deleted our entire facebook account. We don't regret it a bit. Just a suggestion.
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Rating: 4
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It's an idea. I'm glad it worked for your relationship, but I personally don't think you should have to delete your accounts to make your relationship work. That said, this guy is now an ex, after cheating on me several times.
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