hi, im a 17 year old female. Im a Christian, God and i are really tight. im known amongst my friends as being the pure, innocent Christian one who would never hurt a fly. i have never drunk or done drugs, havent dated, and i neverrr swear. But, ocassionally i can get in the mood to satisfy some certain... wants.
you see, every now and then, ill read these manga with really lewd sex scenes in them on a website. some ofthem can get pretty graphic. now dont get me wrong, ihave never and WILL never masturbate. but every now and again, ill just randomly want to look them up. now, i have never watched sex animes or looked up real life porn. ive looked up manga, and read some certain dirty fanfictions, but never anything worse. ill only read them for about 15 minutes or so before i get this huuuuugely awful feeling in my stomach, and stop. then i proceed to immerse myself in as much innocent things as i can in orderto get those awful images out of my head.
im not trying to make excuses for myself or justify my actions, but im saying they're not as extreme other people's can be, and I am certainly nooot addicted to it. but... yeah.
can any Christian, or well, you don'thave to be Christian, people relate to what im doing or feeling? i just want to make sure im not insane. Thanks. :)
Hey,
I'm Christian to, though with you I don't think this is relevent.
You're 17. So you're finding out who you are. Everyone-even the quiet geeky guy in class has felt this urge at some point, even if not following it through. It's a teenage thing. Think about it. Everyone uses pragmatics for different positions and most people lie about sex. Teens are therefore bound to be confused. So the solution? Look this stuff up! Unconsciously you're curious, but consciously you feel abit 'in the mood'.
When you enter you're first serious relationship, this should stop. But unless its getting you upset and down don't worry. At least you've admitted to what you're doing :)
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(Rating: 5)
Thank you veeeeeeeeeeery much. This has made me feel LOADS better. :D~
God bless!
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