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18/f

my mother and father fight a lot. This doesn't really bother me. It's the fact that she always takes her anger out on me. If idobt agree with her, I basically am discommunicated from the family for a few days, till I apologize. It's not fair. My brother will get in trouble for something, but then I end up getting grounded. My brothers are afraid of her, so yet always agree but I don't anymre, because she is usually wrong. She overreacts and always will start crying and will sy mean things to me. Like how I'm stupid or she hates me. I don't know what to do, or what to say anymore.

I really need some advice..

Hey there,
I can definately relate to what you are going through right now. My mom would take out all her frustration on me when she is having a bad day/angry at something and I would get the punishment by having her blame me for things that I never did, just listening to her yell at me for no reason, and have her not listen to my voice. I would get really fed up with it, upset, and even be in depression mode for a few days where I just wanted to be alone in my room with the door closed. If I didn't agree with my mom, she just got more angry and would want to argue that she is right.

What you need to know, is that disagreeing doesn't solve anything... It just creates more conflict. So, what I did, as hard as it was... was shut my mouth, listen to her rant, and then let her realize that I needed to be heard. If you don't say anything, your parents can't make a counter argument and ground you. They just say what they want, then let you be. Then you can wait until they calm down (cuz they will eventually) and ask them if you can make a suggestion or if they are willing to listen. Just say "I would really like it if you listened to me for a moment" or "Sorry, I didn't mean that". As hard as it may be, if you wait until they are in a state to listen (calm, relaxed) it will be much easier for them to hear you. Your brother just gets his way cuz he is probably younger, thats how it is in my house...

If your mom calls you names, tell her to "please stop". If she keeps saying things, just say "I'm sorry" and walk away. It is not your fault that they are fighting and it is worse to be in the middle of a fight. Keep your ground, be polite, and eventually it will wear down. You are a great person and you do have the strength to get through this. If you need to talk, you can always inbox me

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(Rating: 5) Thanks, that was really helpful
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