I'm Em.
I'm a 20 year old English/History student living in Sydney.
I dig art, music and books.
I'll take questions on relationships, friendships, high school, uni, or whatever else.
I try to give the best advice I can, usually drawing on my own personal experience. But I'm not perfect, and sometimes when I look back on some of my advice it's far from it (especially when I was 15 and writing LiKe THiS). It's just advice, though. It's not an answer or a solution, it's simply a potentially helpful perspective. And that's all I can offer you.
Photo:
Yayoi Kusama
"Infinity Mirror Room"
Performance art.
Mirrors, soft sculptures.
Castellane Gallery, New York.
1965.
Gender: Female
Location: Sydney, Australia.
Member Since: January 11, 2007
Answers: 391
Last Update: May 22, 2014
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ok so me and my best friend are really close. were so close that people actually call us lesbians. we talk on the phone everyday for 2 hours. we see each other a lot and hang out. but lately ever since she got the job she is now working with me. we like to get the same shifts so we can work together. but we keep fighting now. and for some reason im just getting so mad at her for being so stupid at times for other reasons not at work. i dont know why im acting like this towards her. but i guess it's because im sick of her. I dont know. but we havent been talking a lot lately and we keep talking rudely to each other. i just want to fix it. and tomorrow we have different shifts and she wants me to change mine so i can work her shift. im just so stressed out with her it's making me be mean to her. what should i do? is it because i need some space from her or what? (link)
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Space is definitely a must. I love my best friends, but I can't be with them every moment, I'd go crazy!
Everyone has different comfort zones and personal spaces. Work is one of them. Work is a place where you do a different routine, behave differently, and have different kinds of friends. When your best friend is there, she's invading that space that was once yours and the lines between what is your personal space is blurred. Since you can't really avoid this, just don't fuss about shifts. If you get one with her, then great, but if you don't then don't worry about it. You should be acting in a professional manner anyway at work and not focusing so much on talking to your friend.
As for the rest of your time, don't go out of your way to avoid her, but just relax a little and enjoy quiet alone time. Try to explain to her if you can that you two being around each other so much is causing a lot of tension. Say in a nice way that you need a little bit of privacy and time to yourself. Not that this means never seeing her, maybe just not for a week. Then you two could plan to do something that you both enjoy the next week so that you can relax a little and have some fun. With my two best friends we try to see each other once a week to do something fun like have some drinks, go out to dinner, go shopping, watch dvds...etc. And this works out really well.
Best friends are like having boyfriends. Sometimes you get sick of them, sometimes you get angry for no reason and sometimes you just need to be away from them for a little bit. Even if she does get upset or angry at you saying you want some more time to yourself, she'll get over it and understand eventually.
Also with the New Years thing, don't worry about it. She cares about you a lot and wants to spend the best of times with you, and this tension thing is just fueling her to act out a little more aggressively than she normally would. Holding a grudge about it won't solve anything.
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Rating: 5
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you gave me some great ideas thank you i appreciate your help
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