im always here to help im really good at giving advice mostly about teenage problems not like my computer software crap! look im not supa smart, ask me questions that i'll know. but other than that im great! that doesnt mean i wont have questions of my own im still learning too so if i dont answer a question of yours than dont get mad b.c i havnt been through it. im very honost to people so if u ask i will certainly tell thats my motto! Just one more thing people if you dont like the way i type then get over it. thats how i am and its not like im typing to some important person. well you are but not that important!
E-mail: sml111992@yahoo.com
Gender: Female
Location: NY
Occupation: student
Age: 17
AIM: SLearnarO92
Yahoo: sml111992@yahoo.com
Member Since: February 26, 2006
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short version: 20 yr old step daughter torturing us. tried everything, almost out of ideas. she\'s distroying our marriage. any ideas to stop her appreciated!
long version: i\'m a 32 yr old female in the us. i started dating a guy 5 yrs ago who had full custody of his 16 yr old daughter. he\'s 16 yrs my senior. soon, she began a quest to break us up. she was rude, ruined our dates on purpose, etc. he was blind & didn\'t see it. she\'s very sneaky & hid it well. eventually, i told him about her actions & when he confronted her, she was proud of her behavior!
when she was 18, he proposed to me. we had been together for 2 yrs. i agreed to marry, but only when she moved out & quit causing trouble. he gained control for a short while & i thought it was over. she moved out at 18 and we got married. he let his boundaries slide & her quest to torture us continued. he talked to her many times, but she had no remorse. she said she had no choice but to be this way because it\'s the only way to treat a stepmom. he has asked her many times if i had ever done anything. she quickly said \"no, her only crime was loving you.\"
i\'ve been called &^*&(@#(*& so many times and until recently, my husband wouldn\'t stand up for me. he also expected me to not do anything to her in return, so out of respect for him, i didn\'t.
she\'s 20 now (will be 21 in 4 months.) this past saturday, his daughter got drunk and called my hubby & asked him to come over & not judge her. she thought he wasn\'t coming & cursed him out. she called him everything from a sperm donor to a effin\' a$$hole. i heard her call me an effin\' b#$ch. when he arrived to her house, she was drunk, in her panties, lying face down on the floor, throwing up and cursing her mother on the phone. he yelled at her not to speak to her mother that way, took care of her, put her to bed & left saying \"i don\'t deserve to be treated this way. we will talk tomorrow.\"
on monday, he confronted her, but she was arrogant and angry. she said her fear with me is that we will both need him at the same time & he will be there for me. she was very self righteous & showed no remorse. he told her he would slap the $hi% out of her if she ever spoke about us that way again.
i\'ve never done anything to her. infact, i tried to be super nice & pray for her in private. then i moved on to ignoring her & avoiding her. next was trying to protect myself from her actions. now, i\'m flaming mad & need this to end or i\'m leaving!!! my curent idea is to make her scared of me. i don't know if it\'ll stop her from hurting us, but idk what else to do. i was in the marines & i am good at intimidating. i hate doing it, but i don't know what to do.
my husband & i are in marriage counceling & struggling due to the damage she caused.
so, last night, i went to her house and put stink things under her doormat & garage. when she steps on them, they\'ll make a huge stink. then, i went to her work & while in the parking lot, i poured one of the stink viles on her car, so she smells it at both places. i confronted her in the parking lot, telling her she doesn\'t know what an effin\' b is & i\'m going to give her an education. she just got all weepy & ran in her car saying \"i don\'t want to talk to you.\" i\'m planning to do a few \"revenge\" type things to her so she\'ll be looking over her sholder all the time. maybe, she\'ll be too scared to mess with us anymore. since she wanted an evil stepmom, will giving her one help? what to do??? if i do nothing, my marriage is over.
i don\'t want to be mean. honest to God i don\'t. i want to be a good stepmom, love her and be kind to her. but i\'ve taken all i can take for almost 5 years. all opinions appreciated. thanks in advance!!!!!!!!!! (link)
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hi again well sometimes people have to make drastic measures when your husband asks her to go to therapy again suggest that he tells her that this is your last chance we have all tried with you if you dont want to get help and resolve this constant issue you have witht the family then when you bother us or harras us when we dont want you to then we will call the police and have you arrested. this is tough love hre and shes a grown women and really needs to grow up if she would rather act like a child and have a record on her than so be it she needs to stop running your life its time that you have the life you always wanted with your husband and if he wont tell her that then you should saying i love you but if you dont go then .... i'm sorry my first advice wasnt helpful you need to stay strong like you have been if things dont work out the way you wanted to then always remember things happen for a reason and its really sad that a 2o something year old is so selfish and immature. i would persoanally call the police or go to bigger extremes and perhaps have a restraining order on her. maybe you should print this out and mail it to her to show what other people think about her and the situation that your in.
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Rating: 5
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I wish it were true that she couldn't be that big of a problem. She has done everything from taking our creditcards and using them to breaking her car on purpose when she knew we had a special evening. She has even went so far as to show up on our dates. On our wedding day, she went all out to ruin the day. It gets old always having to watch your back from her. I have never been through my parents divorcing. My dad died & my stepdad hated me & all kids. I never want to be like him.
Oh... and the night she was drunk, my husband wasn't going to go.... I reminded him that she could choke on her own vomit & I asked him to go.
We have begged her to go to therapy & she refuses. Infact, my husband's going to ask her again today. We know she needs alot of help, but really don't know what to do.
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