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21/f.
I recently started dating a new guy. Everything is great and all, but he talks about his ex girlfriend a lot. They broke up 7 months ago, and she dumped him via sms then went out with a new guy 2 days later. I ask him why he talks about her and he says he is just venting, because he thought what she did was cruel and heartless.
They were only together like 3 months, but she was his "first" (if you get me) He tells me that he is totally in love with me, he was only "love struck" by her and that I'm much better than her and he hates her now. Whenever I get mad at him mentioning her he stops but it always comes up again.

I don't get why he is still mentioning her. I was with a guy for 2 years and that ended badly too (abuse) but I almost never bring him up. Why is he still going on about this girl? I don't think he still likes her but I don't know why he is still bringing her up even after all this time.

Thanks, and sorry for the ramble!


I wish I could tell you some magic recipe that will make him stop talking about her, but it is almost like you are encouraging his behavior. I'll explain...He brings up his ex, you get visibly jealous, it helps his self-esteem to see you jealous over him. Get it?
So, in a sick and twisted way, his bringing up his ex may be some screwed up way he has of measuring how secure his relationship is with you. Try giving a different reaction and see what happens.

[view]

(Rating: 5) I never thought of this to be honest, but you do have a really good point. He appears to be genuinely upset when I get mad at him for talking about it, but now I think about it he also likes attention too.
I will definitely try this. Thank you for your help.
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