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Q: My friend (we are both 16-year-old girls), was recently sexually assaulted by a 15-year-old boy at school who is her ex-boyfriend. The police are involved and so are the teachers and school. (the assault happened at school. It wasnt rape, he just touched her innapropraitely and tried to do stuff. Also the boy and her broke up months ago and he seemed ok with it)
My friend is taking it ok. She is upset and angry and stressed, but she is a very strong girl and hasn't been emotionally affected as bad as people usually are.

The thing is, I dont know what to say to her. When this subject is brought up i dont know what to say. When she told me about it i didnt know what to say. And recently she told me that her dad cant look at her and called her a "slut" and he "cant belive she is her daughter". I think that this is completely outrageous and horrible, but i dont think i should say that to my friend because it is her father.

I just need advice on what to actually say. Should I just say nothing at all? What if she just says "I dont know what to do" which she does say alot. How do I respond to that? How do I respond to someone telling me they have been sexually assaulted by their ex?

I just need to know what to say and how to comfort her.
I am very sorry that this happened to your friend and I'm sure it is difficult for her, really the only thing that you can do is to be there for her. Let her know that you are always there to listen, let her know that it wasn't her fault, and that she should just ignore what her father is saying to her. It is probably just really hard on him and he doesn't know how to react and how to deal with it.
You say that she hasn't been as "emotionally affected" as most people would be, this could be a bad thing? She may be repressing the whole thing and hiding her feelings, lots of people deal with it in this way. Let her know that it is okay to be upset and to voice her emotions and frustrations, keeping them in will only hurt her in the long run. If she says, "I don't know what to do." just tell her to keep pushing through, live her life. Just because this happened to her doesn't mean that she has to be a victim, it can make her a stronger person in the long run. It wasn't her fault it happened, but it shouldn't end her life because it did. You may also want to tell her that if she feels like she can't talk to anyone, maybe she could see a counselor. They can be very helpful with things like this and they can help her to deal with her emotions and even her father.
I Hope I Helped :)

thanks for the advice it really helped :)

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cloudy_conscience
I am a 19 year old female. I am the least judgmental person you will ever meet. I am funny. I am free-willed. I am a lover. I am a friend. I have been through alot & many people call me their guru. & I will try to give you the healthiest advice possible. I may be young but I have a lot of life experiences in many areas, and since my career will be giving advice I figured I'd give a head start. I can be blunt and will give you my honest opinion, although I will do it in a nice way.
I am married to an amazing guy, we have been together since my Junior year & we can't be happier. I have 2 dogs & they are my babies, life wouldnt be the same without them. I am going into my 2nd year of college, I plan to get a degree in Radiology.

I am currently really busy in my life but I will answer any and all questions that are sent to my inbox. I do my best to get on & answer as many questions as possible whenever I am on. If you wish for me to answer one of your questions please submit them. Thanks.


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