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I'm a 17 year old girl. That's all you need to know, now ask me Q's!

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I got taken out of school in the middle of school last year it is almost going to be a year since, and it will be the second semester of school. I got taken out; because there was too much was going on and I was getting in trouble I guess you can say. I drifted away from everyone; I don't talk to anyone from that school old friends anyone. I have been on my own just doing school all day. I believe it was right for me to leave school to I guess re create myself and find out who I really am. Well I have learned so much from being home schooled. Being home schooled has helped me with school and also having a different out look on life and right from wrong. Skipping to Halloween night this year. I was in my room with my mom just crying to her about things that were bothering me, I just was telling her that I can't stand being home schooled and I just want to go back, I have learned so much from this experience and I am ready to go back. I just want to be a normal teen girl living my life... Then I said to her now I want to go back to school so bad but I am so insecure with myself and I compare everyone to myself I just can't go back cause I’m fat and I hate myself. ect. I told her I would NOT want to go back to the school I was at before I left, because I said that everyone moved on with there life and they don't care about me, there going to talk about me ect. And I was just crying and crying... once I let that all out we just kind of talked and I stopped crying..... All of a sudden the door bell rings, my mom goes down stare and all I here is my name I got extremely nervous! They were screaming like oh my god I haven't seen her in for ever I miss her tell her to come down ect. my mom came up and I herd them cause they were screaming but she was telling me that I needed to go down maybe it's a good thing they came it was about 7 people... talk about pressure I hadn’t seen any of them in half a year, I told my mom no I didn't want to but in the back of my head I really did want to because I missed them but I didn't cause I was scared of what they would think of me. I went outside and it was so normal it was like I had never drifted from them and I wasn't different from them body wise. After they left me and my mom continued talking and she said wow was that GOD or what.
So I said you no maybe I should go back to school that I went to before... I have been thinking about it ever since that night and I just don't no my mind has been going back and forth like one day I will get really existed saying yea I should go back and think of all the positives then the next day ill think what the hell there is no way you can go back I’m too fat what if they don't like yada yada yada. My mom wants me to wait till high school, but I would want to go back this January. and she said she doesn't no if she would let me go back... but I wasn't worried about it because I didn't believe that I would really go back because I was scared... well last night we were on our way home from Hollywood studios.. and I told her how my mind just goes back and forth and I gave her all the details... she said well maybe you should just go back this year and ignore your negative thoughts something like that....

I don't understand I got my moms exseptince my old friends excepted me but it's still not good enough because of my stupid mind, I am so uncomfterable with my body and embarrassed with it I want to love who I am but I just can't. I am trying to make god number one in my life again cause I no once my relationship with him is good then everything will line up and I no that I just have to trust him but
I don’t know ugh and I have like 25 days or something in till January:( I don’t know what to do I need help should I take the chance and go or just wait in till I loose weight and love who I am??? Help!

your weight should have no impact on your decision of going back to school. personally, i would wait until the fall because it would be an easier adjustment and if your really concerned about your weight, then that will give you many months to get to your ideal body.

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(Rating: 4) Yea i thought about that too be seriously i have been trying to get my ideal body FOREVER! so it's just not going to happen i just need to exsept myself for who i am...even though it's so hard lol:/
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