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"Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place."
I'm an optimist. I can find the beauty in anything. I'm creative. I love spontaneity, peace, & parties. I'm the farthest thing from shy. There's not one person on this earth that I don't care about. I like deep conversations, change, & random acts of kindness. Every emotion I feel is ten times as strong as yours. I have alot of empathy for other people. I'm real open minded & liberal. All I want to do is make at least one person's life a little easier. :D
advice
ok this is what happening
my parents are out with family friends, and they'll be back any minute so I need your help
heres some background
i volunteer on my cousins softball team (im 17, the girls are 15)
and whatever yea i met this girl, her name is Allison, and we're going out for a while. We have a lot in common, sometimes i help her with her homework. I helped her on an english essay and she still got a C. This is because her teacher is a prick... anywayz
So she came over like an hour ago, and i really want to lose my virginity, so I ask her to have sex
"no i cant its not right" she said but i told her "dont worry i know what im doing, ill be done in like 10 seconds, plus ill give you 2 n64 games if you say yes"
So I gave her diddy kong racing and ken griffey jr baseball, and then she goes to my room. shes a bit confused and scared.
Then i think to myself - yo I need lube right? Cuz I hear you guys on TW saying you need to lube up her clit otherwise it wont fit in properly.
Ok so I have no lube, but i really want to lose my virginity - so i grab some butter from the fridge, but its cold, it wont melt - so i microwaved it for 8 minutes, and then i put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, now shes saying i burned it.
I don't know what to do, my parents are going to be back any minute and shes crying in the bathroom plz help you guys are really smrat and please help me.
Any idea how to shut her up? Should i give her another n64 game?
Alright. Go take a stick of butter, microwave it for 8 minutes, & then pour it on yourself. See how you feel.
What you did was selfish and stupid. YOU DO NOT BRIBE GIRLS FOR SEX. Why she even agreed to that is beyond me. I mean, at least make it a GOOD deal anyway, not 2 video games.
Uh. You can give her another game if your little heart desires, but you should be APOLOGIZING to her. She didn't do anything wrong, and you're annoyed at her crying because you were too stupid to realize you don't pour practically BOILING butter on someone?! Get over yourself.
I'm done with lectures now.
Obviously clean it up and get her to a doctor.
Nice one.
(Rating: 5) I am sorry, I was so immature when I was on this site before. I am back now and I can't even believe I wrote this. It was a joke, honest. Thanks for taking the time to answer it, and I promise to answer some questions for people to make up for it!