asksteph2k10
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Q: So back in June, i hooked up with this boy my age that i just met that night. He goes to a different school, but we know the same people and had heard of each other before. We were all drinking at this one kid's house, and we were kinda meant to hook up cause everyone else there had someone to hook up with so it just happened. But we talked a lot and hooked up a lot and even a little more, like he gave me a hickey. And i'm PRETTY sure he asked for my number, but I don't completely remember. We were talking about hanging out and stuff, and he acted like he really liked me that night. The only issue is, he never talked to me again. It really hurt me for some reason, because I have this problem that whenever i hook up with someone I become attached to them for a little. But when I tell my friends that I'm upset he never texted me or said anything to me and we never hung out, they just say 'who cares, it's just a random hookup'. Like no one thinks its a big deal to hook up with someone and never talk to them again, but personally I hate that. It's the worst feeling ever. He sseemed like such a nice and mature guy and everyone said he was, but I just don't get what I did wrong. I was thinking into it a lot, and I was thinking maybe I gave him the wrong idea because he was trying to do more with me and i told him I didn't want too and he was like 'sorry, sorry'. and then we just went to sleep. And then i got up to go to the bathroom and instead of laying back down with him i layed on a different couch. And my one friend was saying this might have made him feel like I did'nt like him or something, but really I wasn't even thinking about it like it wasn't a big deal at all. And now to make matters worse, he is back with his ex-girlfriend. They were done for about 2 months before I hooked up with him, and the reason I knew it was okay was that my friend hooked up with him the weekend before me. I feel completely used and I just think that he is one of those boys who just wants to get some whenever he can, considering he hooked up with my friend the weekend before when they were drunk, so now i just feel like shit. And i've decided never to hook up with a random person again unless I know they will talk to me after. And he told his ex-girlfriend that he hooked up with me because she wanted to know everyone he had hooked up with since they broke up. Now i just feel like one of those girls who hook up with people's ex's as a rebound, and i NEVER wanted to be that girl. I"m the type of girl who's all about playing hard to get and not being needy to boys and being independant. I mean i don't really feel that way, but I try my hardest to act that way in front of guys. So something like this has never happened to me and idk what to do. I can't stop thinking about it even though i should of forgotten about him a WHILE ago, because he obviously never thought about me again. the thing that pisses me off SO much is that i'm the type of girl who is not easy at all, and guys know that. I've worked so hard on making that my image and living up too it, because for some reason my worst fear is being 'easy' or a 'slut'. so, i play hard to get , sometimes i even come off as a bitchy to guys, because i am so afraid of being used or getting attached. And i don't get it, it's like this guy for example, his girlfriend is SUCH whore, she is the biggest slut i've ever met literally and i'm NOT just saying that, i mean she probably has diseases. and i am not at ALL, guys know that if they want ANYTHING physically from me they have to actually like me, except this night was an exception.i KNEW it was a bad idea to let my guard down for once. but of course, all i would do is make out with him because i would never do anything more with a random guy..
You need to be careful of the terms you are using in your questions.

In the adult world, "hooking up" with someone means having sex with them, so I almost made it all the way through your post thinking he slept with you.

As far as him not talking to you afterwards, its completely normal to go to party, make out with a guy, and him never call you after that. I asked my husband and he said that if he was from another school, or a different city, the chances are, it was a one time thing for him and he won't want to pursue it afterwards. He's in the "no strings attatched" phase.

I know it sucks. When I was 16 I went through similar situations. Just know that next time you go to a party, if you plan on making out with a random guy, don't expect anything past that night even if he does ask for your number. Chances are he won't call, but there's always a chance that he will, but don't expect anything. And don't read too much into it eaither. Its not that they may not like you, but they just wanted to have fun that night and nothing more...

Keep this info in mind next time you go to a party. You will feel better afterwards.

=] steph

Thanks! Yeah i messed up with that term sorry about that

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steph2k10
Hi! I'm Stephanie, I'm a 21 yr living in Houston, Texas. I've been living on my own since I was 17 and wouldnt have it any other way. Ive been through many bad things in my life. Instead of letting things hurt me and make me bitter and depressed, I have let them make me stronger. I can give great advice on almost any subject. Im getting married in December to a wonderful man named Chris, and will soon my a military wife! inbox me or email me anytime, id love to hear from you!

stephanie.ellick@gmail.com

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