Q: Hey, my names Laura. I'm 16, And the love of my life is leaving for college next month... :/ Please don't say i'm young and that i will find someone else, i think this boy is my everything.
His name is Ryan, hes 18. We have been together since Late august. We went from september untill may, then we broke up. We continued to be "together" but without the label of being boyfriend/girlfriend. He took my virginity, so he was my first. he was here for everything, he was the first boyfriend that didn't abuse me, use me, or fuck me over.
I'm really, REALLY scared. I'm terrified. He is going to college about 6 hours away. I have never felt more upset in my life whenever i think about him leaving. He only can come home once every 10 weeks. I know I'm going to have to deal with what is coming at me, but I really dont want too. Just whenever I think about him leaving, I start crying. I don't want him to leave, he cant. I need him.
I really don't know what to do, I don't know how to tell him that I REALLY need him, I'm the kinda girl that likes to talk about more serious stuff online, I'm shy. I choke on my words upfront, and if I talk about this with him, I'll cry. I dont want to cry infront of him. But I want him to know that Im upset.. I've been playing it cool for the last couple months, so has he. We both know were really upset inside.
I have a therapist and we talk about him sometimes, whenever she brings up his name and mentions him leaving for school, I choke up, and start crying. I cant speak, words dont come out. I cry for the entire session. My life will be misriable without him. and everyone knows it..
The other night he was telling me (via text) that he can only come home once every 10 weeks and cant do anything about it. I was at the car dealer getting a car, I had to walk away from my family and cry in the bathroom, I couldn't hold it in. I was misriable from just hearing that news.
Ryan and I hang out every day, have sleepovers almost every other night, we really cant live without eachother. I've helped him through alot and he has picked me up when I thought everything was ending (being abused for 8 months in my last relationship, and giving up) he gave me hope.. he made me into the person that i always wished to be, a girl who is in love.
I know it was my mistake to begin liking him knowing he was leaving for school in a year. You cant beat love.
Can someone please help me? I feel like im dying, I dont know what to do without him... Please.