kristamikele's

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25/F/US

Three years ago, I met a man. Our relationship was brief but very intense... I don't entertain any delusions regarding love; I didn't know him long enough to feel such a thing. But, when I'm honest with myself, I have to admit that no man I have met since can rival him. I've never been more attracted to a person, on so many different levels, or felt myself connect with a person emotionally and mentally so quickly, so easily.

During the past few years... I've tried to move on. I've dated. I've fallen in and out love. At one point, I was even engaged to be married. I can go for months without thinking of him at all... But once he runs across my mind, he's hard to push back out again. And I can't push him out without a tremendous amount of effort, without missing him terribly.

I want for nothing more than for this to stop. Recently, I've been thinking of him and it's driving me absolutely CRAZY.

Please help me make peace with his memory. I've tried addressing the feelings of anger, rejection, sorrow, regret... I've even thought that maybe HE isn't really the problem. Maybe the problem is just that I'm lonely and remembering a better time.

They say, whoever 'they' is, that the first step of the healing process is to acknowledge the problem. I've acknowledged the problem. I've acknowledged a combination of problems.

What now?

This man-he is they guy you "go to" in your mind whenever you start the pity party in your head. You say months go by when you don't think of him, I'll be willing to bet when you do think of him it is when you are feeling particularly lonely/vulnerable/hoodwinked/whatever. His face is just the image you have put to that feeling you have.
To be honest with you-I think it's all pretty normal. We all have that guy (mine's name is Mark), just like we all have those feelings. Here's the good news. Somewhere, without you even realizing it, some guy you have completely forgotten about is thinking about you. You were the perfect girl to him, and even after all of these years he hasn't gotten over you.

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