Good day everyone.
I am a nursing student. My ultimate goal is to be a travel nurse.
I am happily married for over 12 years and have 3 children: ages 6, 4, and 2. Family is the most important thing in the world and I want to help families work out problems so they do not have to be torn apart.
If your family is as important to you as mine is to me, get the help you need. If you do not like my advice, I respect that but look for someone that works for your needs.
Your family is worth it!
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio
Occupation: Home maker/ nursing student
Age: 31
Member Since: October 26, 2007
Answers: 223
Last Update: September 27, 2011
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I'm a first time mom and I feel so lost. I have no idea if and when my baby is hungry. :( and I feel like such a terrible mother.
My baby is 7 weeks old, and he will breastfeed for around 10 minutes. and then come off and latch back on. but once he latches back on he just cries and cries. so i feel like maybe hes still hungry but hes just not getting enough from me. If i give him his pacifier though he happily sucks it. but then i feel guilty thinking well maybe hes sucking it because hes hungry.
I just would like a straightforward answer as to how to know when my baby is hungry and how to know when hes full and just crying for the sake of crying.
because now whats happening is he'll cry and i'll check his diaper..and its fine. and then try to feed him and he will latch on.. i dont have to coax him. but once hes latched on he starts to scream.
PLEASE please please someone help me! (link)
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The "simple" answer to if your baby is hungry is- if he is crying and you try to feed him, he will eat until he is satisfied. Then he will let go. If he still needs to suckle, a pacifier is perfectly adequate and you do not need to let him suckle on you until your breasts are sore. Let him eat and then let him have a pacifier. Babies have a natural need to suckle and this does not equal hunger. So pacifiers are okay.
However, as I am sure you have learned, babies are not simple. Now, let me start by saying that all babies like all adults are different. There are "rules" but then there are exceptions to every rule so what I say next may or may not apply to you.
What concerns me is you said he will latch on and then start to scream. This could suggest a few things that you may need to discuss with your pediatrician. 1. He may have acid reflux. 2. Colic. 3. Some sort of lactose intolerance or milk protein allergy.
I have three children ranging from 5 1/2 years to 11 months. It has been my personal experience that my children never cried "for the sake of crying". It is an old wives tale that babies cry to "practice using their lungs". That was what we heard when I was a kid. When babies are content and have what they need, they generally don't cry (until they are a little older and are not getting their way or are just being ornery... but at 7 weeks this is not usually a problem).
Your pediatrician should be kept informed of all of this. They can do a very easy test to see if he is getting enough to eat by simply having frequent weights. If your baby is gaining weight appropriately, he is getting enough to eat. If he is uncomfortable, however, there may be other tests they need to do to see if there is a problem such as those I mentioned above.
Above all else, remember that you are NOT a terrible mother. You are clearly a very loving concerned mother who just wants to do the best by her baby- which is what WONDERFUL mothers do.
Things get a little easier in the coming weeks. When my oldest was born I had never even held a newborn, let alone all of the "mothering" stuff. I also did not grow up with a "mother" so I didn't have anything to draw from. I spent a LOT of time feeling inadequate and less than the other mothers I saw who seemed to know exactly how its done! You'll get there. It may just take a few months (or a year or two haha).
One extra little side thought... I don't know exactly what you are feeling but you mentioned you feel like a terrible mother, and you do seem a bit overwhelmed. Don't forget to take a little care of yourself too. If you are feeling extraordinarily upset or "down", you may want to mention this to your own doctor. You may need a little pick me up for potential post partum depression (PPD). I had it with all 3 of mine. You may not have this but if you do and if you get help, you will be an even better mother because of it.
Best of luck, and HAPPY MOTHER's DAY!!! :)
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Rating: 5
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thank you so much for your advice. i wish I could give you a rating better than 5 because your reply helped me out soo much. I ended up calling my doctor and she told me to pump and see how much milk comes out. turns out it wasn't enough for my son because i had had complications and wasn't able to breastfeed him for a while which really messed up with my milk supply.
if you have any advice on how to increase my milk supply please share.. :)
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