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Ok so i have known this guy for about 5 years now but we've been talking for 3 months and when we started talking he told me that we were going to get to know each other and then see where it goes. well a couple of days ago we took that step. THAT STEP. and now he's kind of stepped back a little bit and i'm just scared that he's just going to bounce after all of this and i don't know how to approach him withoout making it seem like i'm wanting him to commit like now. but then again i do want him to commit because i do care about him alot. i just don't know what to do....
You both need to be clear with each other about what your expectations are for this relationship. You don't have to do it strongly, like tell him that he HAS to commit (not saying you would). And you have a right to know whether he wants to take the relationship further, or if he just wanted a one time thing. Just ask him where he wants this relationship to go. If he just wanted a one time thing, or he wants to commit to you. Don't be afraid to ask. And if he's a jerk about it, then forget him. That would be stupid of him to not expect you to want to know about his seriousness about the relationship.
A little more advice here: Not trying to be rude or anything, but if something like this happens again, it might be best to maybe get to know the person a little bit more before you take "the step", & maybe make your expectations known. Again, not being rude, but there are a lot of guys who just want one thing, & a lot of them will be willing to lie to you to get it.
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(Rating: 3)
not saying that your not right about getting to know the person first. but i do know this person. i know him very well as i said i've known him for 5 years and we've been talking for 3 months in the since of getting to know one another and seeing where it goes. honestly i think the only reason all of this is coming about is because he's in the national guard and he's leaving for irag in like 3 months, but he knew when we got into this that he was leaving for either irag or school and i knew this as well and i went to this know that this would be an obstacle in our path and i took it as an obstacle hoping that if we could get through it that would mean that we were meant to be together as of now not like forever. i believe that obstacles are placed in your path for a reason to see if you can get past them and if you can't then, in our case the realationship whats strong enough to get past it.
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