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E-mail: mylordwon@yahoo.com
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Age: 45
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15/f. a few years ago I got caught[by parents] with cutting & depression. Between then and now I've struggled with S.I & eating disorders..but Ive managed to have 99.999% of people convinced I'm COMPLETELY over everything and am totally healed. but I'm more depressed than ever..just got too good at hiding it. Everyone sees me as the Jesus Freak..and I was. until recently, idk I just started to fall away from religion =\ anyway.
theres a guy my dad works with that has a daughter my age thats been cutting a lot and everything like I was. I agreed to talk to her if she wants. my mom suggested that i introcude her to religion and tell her my 'success story'
but I dont know how to go about this since I'm not better and i confused about God right now.[obviously i cant tell my mom that.]
helpp? (link)
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First of all, I'm proud of you for coming clean with the reality that you aren't okay. It took courage to speak it even on a forum like advicenators. This is a terrific start.
I feel a real need to address the religion aspect of your dilemma. Do you have religion or relationship? There's a big difference between having religion and having a relationship with God through Jesus. Religion deals with following rules...the do's and don'ts. Having a relationship with God through Jesus deals with the heart. God is in the heart changing business not the "good works" of religion business. He loves and wants YOU.
I was a sexually abused child. I had issues piled on top of issues. I understand all the things you're feeling. Been there. Let me tell ya, it took lots of heart changing. Let me explain a few things I learned.
Depression comes from a heart issue of focusing on self. Yes, there can be brain chemical imbalance that makes a person more easily drawn to depression, but depression can be resisted and overcome by focusing on God. Reading His word is a powerful way to defeat depression. Let me make it clear that it's not the act of reading the Bible, but reading it with a heart of seeking God's help. It's an attitude of realizing Jesus is the only one who can do anything about the situation. Depression is not overcome by everyone telling you you're fine, but rather by truly opening up and letting God deal with your heart.
Many told me to just go and do something that will raise my self esteem. Self esteem is esteeming self and actually stirs depression. The people who are telling you that you're fine are probably trying to lift your self esteem and, as you're finding out, it's making the depression worse. It may even be pushing you into isolation. That cycle keeps going around and around until it's properly dealt with. Relationship not religion.
Cutting is an emotional release. Most teens I know of that cut have a hard time releasing deep seeded hurt and anger through the natural way of crying tears. Again, a heart issue that needs to be dealt with. Spending time with the Lord in prayer; telling Him about the hurt will bring release. Perhaps keeping a journal of your prayer time.
Eating disorders...I suffered with anorexia in my young adult years. People said I would be fine if I just started eating. Eating brought my weight up, but I was still dying inside from a wrong view of my worth as a person. The anorexia came back several years later. It wasn't until I was honest with God and allowed Him to show me my worth in His eyes. You. Me. We are wonderfully made by the creator of the universe.
We have an enemy of our souls, the devil, that loves it when we focus on ourselves and when we keep things hidden. He knows that as soon as things are spoken and brought out into the light of Christ, he no longer has power over us. When I broke the silence about the sexual abuse, there was nothing for the devil to stand on anymore. One by one, over time, the other things disappeared.
It sounds like you are under a lot of pressure to talk to this girl, but what I get from your explanation in your question is that right now, you won't have much to offer her until you remove the mask your hiding behind and get healed by seeking God in this.
IN ADDITION: I'm so glad to hear you know Jesus. Just because things are seemingly rocky right now, doesn't mean your relationship with Jesus can't be restored. There's a lot of tension in the world economically and such, but the spiritual tension is even greater. We need to band together as brothers and sisters in Christ and hold each other up. Fight the thought life that is trying to drag you down. Get in and stay in the Word. Seek out people who will encourage you and help you grow. And contact me anytime. I will keep you in my prayers.
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Rating: 5
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wowww. that was reallyy deep. & extremelyyy helpful. You sound a lot like me, including the abuse.[btw, sorry youve gone through all this
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