ohitscassidy's advice column

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Q: 16/f. So, around the time the new year started, I started dating my current boyfriend. I care about him a lot because we were friends before dating and we can tell eachother anything. Anyways, my dad doesn't like him, at all. He thinks that my boyfriend has "no personality", no direction in life, and only after sex. When I first found out how he felt about him, it really hurt, because he's actually the complete opposite. My dad is also very overprotective in general: I'm only allowed to go to the mall or some other secure location like a friend's house(if the friend is a girl of course), no guys are allowed at my house, and I am only allowed to sleepover at 2 of my friends' houses. Anyways, my boyfriend is quite the opposite. He used to take me to cool stores and restaurants and I would go to his house. However, I did all of that without my parents knowing. He would get very angry if he found out. Recently, however, things started going downhill. My bf came to visit me one day at my house and my dad got furious and didn't let him in the house. After that, he tried seeing me again, because it was our anniversary. He didn't go to my house but waited nearby so I could go outside. My dad found out he was nearby because he picked up the phone in the middle of our conversation. Then he yelled at him and told him to go home. Since that day, I've been grounded. I'm afraid that I'll still be grounded on valentine's day. :( And this all stinks because I think that my dad needs to get over it. I mean, I understand that he's concerned that I'll get pregnant or just hurt in general, but I know that I am mature and can make intelligent decisions. I have really good grades in school and don't do drugs or drink. I help around the house too. But I tried talking to my parents about my bf, but my dad just "knows" that this guy is bad news. It's just really unfortunate because I don't even go to the same school as him, so how will I ever see him if my dad keeps me on lockdown? Any suggestions? Thanks.

You should sit your dad down and talk to him, maturely and ask him why he doesn't trust you, you said you don't drink or anything so if you have never done anything to make him not trust you then he should, also get your mom involved ask to sit down with both of them and talk about it, if your dad would go for it get you, your boyfriend and your parents together for a dinner one night to try to get to know him. Tell him what you told us, how you feel about him and how he needs to let go of his little girl and let you be your own person tell him your plans on sex, and that you know your to young(if thats what you think or want him to lol) let him know that your responsible to make good decisions and if you have a cell phone tell him it's okay for him to call and check up on you if it makes him feel better.

goodluck hope i helped

Rating: 5

Thank you. I doubt he'll go for the dinner thing, haha. But yeah I will tell him there will be no sex involved, which isn't a complete lie....haha. The cell phone idea is good too. :)