14/f
I've been friends with this boy since I was in kindergarten and we were really best friends all the way up to 6th grade. Last year, naturally, we weren't as close but we remained good friends. Now, I understand that because I’m a girl he doesn't feel completely comfortable being "best" friends like in kindergarten due to horny 14 yr old boy issues, but I still believe we can be friends. He's into this blond (the hottest girl in school) and has ditched me to spend time with her. He knows he's not going to date her; he just hangs around her because she's hot. He knows she's a (in his own words) "a dumbass". She's also unpleasant and arrogant. Not to mention slightly narcissistic. So anyway, he’s ditched me. He doesn’t talk to me. He doesn’t even look at me when I say “hi”. He’s made me almost non-existent. I can understand him not wanting to spend time with another girl and ditching her for “the blond” but what about a friend? He barely ever even considered me a girl before anyway. He always thought I was a lesbo, and a total guy. (Ugh, I’m not getting to the point.) So here’s the question. He didn’t ditch his guy friends for the blond but he ditches me. I’m hurt and miss him. Why did he ditch me and not any of his other friends? Is it because I’m a girl? I can’t think of any other reason and I know for a fact it’s not because he’s tired of me as a friend. During our school trip to Monterey, he sat next to me constantly for hours on the bus, on the plane, during meals, ect. We talked, laughed, flirted, ect. For hours! So why does he choose to ditch me? I really don’t understand and feel very hurt by being pushed aside.
Hey!
I think I can explain this.
Are your friend's friends into this "blonde" girl too? If they are, then it's probably not you that is running your friend away. And it's not because you are a girl.
Friends are a big part of everyone's life, and if too many of your buddy's friends dissaprove of you and approve of the blonde, then he of course whould turn away from you and to the other girl so that his friends will accept him more.
I honestly don't think that he doesn't care about you anymore, it's just that he wants to keep climbing the social ladder, even if it means leaving a part of an old friendship behind.
So what do you do? I think you should follow his lead. You need to keep making girlfriends and start flirting with other guys. Then he will see that you are acceptable and so will his friends. Then, they won't care if he is hanging out with you, because you are fun to be around.
That's probably the only way to get things back. Just find a few really nice popular girls (yes they are hard to find) and talk to them until you get on their nerves. Find some cute guys to flirt with, and sooner than you know it, your friend will come back.
Or, you could sit back and wonder why he isn't talking to you and you could sulk.
Hope I helped!
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(Rating: 5)
thank you very much for your advice. i believe what you say makes sense and i will not sulk. to be honest, i wasn't even aware that i even felt this way untill i began writing the question. all the stupid 14 year old girl emotions came out right when i was writing. haha. the thing is, is that all his friends love me. some have even tried taking his place!...but i didn't really feel like it was right. nine years for this young teen is a lot you know. haha. but anyway, thank you very much. i really appreciate it. I will get over him now. I knew i should have earlier but i just needed to hear it from somebody else. thank you very much!
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