I am a father of three, girl, boy, girl, all are now over 18. I have been married for 29 years as of 6-30-07, so yes, if you do the math I was married at 18, just after graduating high school. I am very aware of the pit falls of doing so, but we made it through the really tough times. I came to this site, because of my daughter, she also uses the site.
I am an author and have written three books, only one under this name, but it is not how I make my living. I am in business, working full time and I have a seasonal business in ponds, selling Koi, goldfish, water plants and supplies. I help people to plan and build ponds, as well as, maintenance if they need it.
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E-mail: gibber@cableone.net
Gender: Male
Location: Minnesota
Age: 53
Member Since: May 14, 2008
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In my company there is a colleague from America. (I'm a chinese ).Sometimes when he walks over and starts a conversation with me, he tends to touch on my arm (almost like just a brush ).I feel it too intimate because in my country colleagues of different sex normally don't have any body contact except handshake .
So I'm wondering is this normal in his culture or does he try to mean anything? (link)
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Answering your second question put to me,
One, never take anything that comes out of Hollywood as normal behavior. It is common in some circles for a man to offer his arm to escort a lady, but the women has the choice to take it or not, besides, you have asked about what is proper in business. A familiar touch such as this is most often an invite, he's making the first move. You pull away, it tells him you're not interested, you don't and you accept his advances, or courtship if you like. Things may be different in different parts of the U.S., but all my experience in business says that, aside from a hand shake, you go out of your way not to touch someone and that goes double for a man when dealing with a women. Over here law suits start that way and many men are fired for less then that in some business. Some of those who run companies here are so paranoid about sexual harassment charges being brought that they often find it easier to fire the men that are accused of it.
It is a very one sided thing over here. Women often do it to men, but we can not take it for what it appears to be, an advancement. If we do, some women have turned around and charged sexual harassment. The trouble is, men can never know for sure if the women is interested, or just setting you up. I think we'll leave it there, you can probably tell that I have a great dis stain for this often time lopsided judicial system and thinking of life here in the United States, I may not like it, but even as poor sometimes that it is, I still think it is better then anything else, no offense.
If you feel you have a good working relationship with him, just ask him next time if his touch is meant as a come on, or if he just does not consider his light touches as meaning anything. Tell him you have spoken to other Americans who have suggested that it is an advance made toward you, then go from there. Tell him for his own good that it is considered improper in your culture in business for him to do this.
We do have the few people who will reach out and actually place their hand on your forearm or shoulder. We are rarely hung up on the occasional ACCIDENTAL brushing together if quarters are tight, but no, if you feel that it is intentional, it is not considered proper in our culture. I think most people are protective of their personal space and if you put it to this guy as, "I am uncomfortable with you getting so close and invading my personal space", he should understand this statement and back off. If he does not, ask someone else to intercede on your behalf and explain to him that it is considered improper in your culture for him to touch you.
Hope I helped
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Rating: 4
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I have a quetion though ,when i see the western movie or watch the TV series .It's normal to see a man wrap his arm around a lady's waist in a banquet or something ,even though they r not relationship related?
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