I am a father of three, girl, boy, girl, all are now over 18. I have been married for 29 years as of 6-30-07, so yes, if you do the math I was married at 18, just after graduating high school. I am very aware of the pit falls of doing so, but we made it through the really tough times. I came to this site, because of my daughter, she also uses the site.
I am an author and have written three books, only one under this name, but it is not how I make my living. I am in business, working full time and I have a seasonal business in ponds, selling Koi, goldfish, water plants and supplies. I help people to plan and build ponds, as well as, maintenance if they need it.
I am not here for the ratings and could careless what you rate me. I will tell you things I know, I will tell you what you don't want to hear, but most of all, I will tell you things from my perspective. I have experienced a lot in my life, I have not lived with my head in the sand and I'm a realist, you want someone to blow smoke up your as*, don't read my writings, (I don't do fairy tales).
I am not so foolish as to think I am always right, I can only tell you what I know and give you something to think about. It is up to you to find out if I'm right or not.
Life is complicated, because people are complicated and one answer does not necessarily fit all, but that doesn't mean you should not consider what I say as a possibility.
Feel free to write me personally if you wish, there is only so much you can say in such a restrictive environment as this site is, it doesn't allow for proper conversation.
Thank you for coming to my column and giving me the chance to help.
E-mail: gibber@cableone.net
Gender: Male
Location: Minnesota
Age: 53
Member Since: May 14, 2008
Answers: 285
Last Update: March 27, 2013
Visitors: 26999
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so, this is kinda a long story..i don't really know what to do..my boyfriend tells me that my mom treats me like shit and i let it happen..i mean she says the most hurtful things you could think of..like "if i knew you were gonna be like this i'd never have you" or pretty much, "i wish you were never born"..am i that bad?! my boyfriend says it's her that's a bitch, and my mom tells everyone in my family that i never do what she asks, which is bullshit..so now everyone is giving me crap about it..i go to college..i'm 18..my boyfriend says i'm old enough to make my own decisions but until i understand that, my mom is just going to keep treating me like shit..but i still have that respect for my parents..i do what i can..i'm the youngest and my two brothers, one who she favors, moved out a long time ago, and my sisters got married when i was younger..i'll stop here. (link)
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It's funny how life is such a completion to some people. "What have you done for me lately?" No matter what, you can NEVER top what your mother has given you! Would it hurt you to acknowledge that, would it also kill you to find out why she feels this way and worse yet, why she expresses these things openly to you?
Why does it surprise so many of you children when a parent shows resentment for a child who in all reality has taken that parents life from them, then spits on them and their words. They care nothing of what they came from and think they have actually sacrificed because they do a chore or two around the house
Parents give up their lives for their children, they set all their wants and sometimes their needs aside for you and often what keeps them going is the thought that it will come back to them in the end. But, you know what, it never does. We never get what is due use, what we get is a child who fights us all our lives, one who never stops expecting more.
Look at her my dear, take a close look, for she is you, but for a child or two. She is your future, she is what you will be, unless you have the intelligence and strength to see this and face it and change it. Otherwise just continue being the ungrateful child and don't recognize her greatest of accomplishments. YOU dear spirit.
Follow up,
Wow, where did the two of you come up with your responses. I guess it shouldn't surprise me, obviously you have not the capability to understand the written word. Read this again with out your bias and try to understand what I'm saying. Here, I'll dumb it down for you. Parents always, yes, I said ALWAYS, have their favorites, you will too. I love all three of my children and I walked into parenthood with both eyes wide open and gladly gave my life for them and still do to one extent or another. I love them all, but honestly, I don't like one of them, (there is a difference, I love her as my child, but I don't like her as a person). As for the other two, I like them both, but to very much different degrees. This is human nature, you can't fight it.
Second of all, as to your problem, I was trying to give you the in-site to talk with your mother, what the hell is wrong with you MTV watching kids that you can't sit down and talk to your own parents and try to understand them, instead of always expecting us to understand and just except you. I read your letters, both of you and see ME...ME...ME, the world is all about me and you better well understand that. Will you ever come to grips with the fact that your mother is a human being with all the thoughts and worries of one, but then, you don't give a damn about that, because you don't have to understand her, do you?
Get off your pedestal of martyrdom, (Oh poor me), and talk to her like an adult, then maybe she'll treat you like one, gee, maybe you'll even learn something.
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Rating: 4
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You don't know me. you may have gone through a lot, but you will never know, exactly, how it is. what kind of mother favors a kid over the others? I understand that i will never be ablt to pay her back for what she's given me. She gave me life and more. i also understand that if my mom and/or dad was gone, i'd be a lost little girl. i know she is my mother and i do love her. i look at her sometimes and hope i get her strength but nothing else. i respect my parents, i do what they tell me and i don't talk back. i will be different. in the future i'll make sure my kids KNOW that i love them. Despite how harsh your answer was, thank you.
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