I am a father of three, girl, boy, girl, all are now over 18. I have been married for 29 years as of 6-30-07, so yes, if you do the math I was married at 18, just after graduating high school. I am very aware of the pit falls of doing so, but we made it through the really tough times. I came to this site, because of my daughter, she also uses the site.
I am an author and have written three books, only one under this name, but it is not how I make my living. I am in business, working full time and I have a seasonal business in ponds, selling Koi, goldfish, water plants and supplies. I help people to plan and build ponds, as well as, maintenance if they need it.
I am not here for the ratings and could careless what you rate me. I will tell you things I know, I will tell you what you don't want to hear, but most of all, I will tell you things from my perspective. I have experienced a lot in my life, I have not lived with my head in the sand and I'm a realist, you want someone to blow smoke up your as*, don't read my writings, (I don't do fairy tales).
I am not so foolish as to think I am always right, I can only tell you what I know and give you something to think about. It is up to you to find out if I'm right or not.
Life is complicated, because people are complicated and one answer does not necessarily fit all, but that doesn't mean you should not consider what I say as a possibility.
Feel free to write me personally if you wish, there is only so much you can say in such a restrictive environment as this site is, it doesn't allow for proper conversation.
Thank you for coming to my column and giving me the chance to help.
E-mail: gibber@cableone.net
Gender: Male
Location: Minnesota
Age: 53
Member Since: May 14, 2008
Answers: 285
Last Update: March 27, 2013
Visitors: 26955
Main Categories:
Spirituality
Mental health
General Sex Questions
View All
|
| |
I have been with my boyfriend a little over three years. We love each other more than anything, and I know this. But since it's been so long, the "infatuation phase" (c/o of John Legend [; ) has sort of passed. Of course we're still affeectionate and cute sometimes, but sometimes I feel like I try much harder than him to keep that little spark alive- and by spark, I mean the cutesy stuff, like silly mushy messages now and then, sending songs that remind us of the other, etc. I do all these things and he normally does not, whereas in the beginning of our relationship he did.
Basically, is it okay that the small, silly things we used to do so often have become uncommon and we've gone into more of a comfort phase? We still do cute things occasionally, but now it's more of a "spending-time-with-each-other-is-enough". I just sometimes wonder if it will be enough to make us last as long as I'd like (forever). I mean, it's obvious married couples aren't always super lovey-dovey. So this is normal, right? I'd simply appreciate some advice/opinions (: (link)
|
Just what I like to see, someone who has taken their time getting to know each other, how sweet. But tell me, why is he a "boyfriend?" You are not sure enough by now to be engaged? The wedding doesn't have to be tomorrow, but really, why the lack of commitment to each other?
Commitment is important, it takes things to that next level and reveals things about one and other. The cute stuff is all well and good, but growth comes from advancing, not from maintaining the status quo.
You know he's capable of being cutesy, but do you know he's capable of committing his life to you? Are you capable of committing your life to him? Are you two secure enough that the cutesy things don't matter?
There is nothing I would rather do then spend time with my wife of 30 years and I still do the cutesy things now and then, but the best thing she does for me is, everything. Everything she does is for me and everything I do is for her. We have devoted our lives to one and other and we are best friends. We do something special for one and other on occasion, but it always comes from the heart, that's what makes it special.
Your relationship is growing despite you, why don't you two get back into the game and actually play it.
|
|
Rating: 5
| |
Thanks. Getting engaged and things like that aren't really a priority, because we're about to start college in the fall.
|
|