I am a father of three, girl, boy, girl, all are now over 18. I have been married for 29 years as of 6-30-07, so yes, if you do the math I was married at 18, just after graduating high school. I am very aware of the pit falls of doing so, but we made it through the really tough times. I came to this site, because of my daughter, she also uses the site.
I am an author and have written three books, only one under this name, but it is not how I make my living. I am in business, working full time and I have a seasonal business in ponds, selling Koi, goldfish, water plants and supplies. I help people to plan and build ponds, as well as, maintenance if they need it.
I am not here for the ratings and could careless what you rate me. I will tell you things I know, I will tell you what you don't want to hear, but most of all, I will tell you things from my perspective. I have experienced a lot in my life, I have not lived with my head in the sand and I'm a realist, you want someone to blow smoke up your as*, don't read my writings, (I don't do fairy tales).
I am not so foolish as to think I am always right, I can only tell you what I know and give you something to think about. It is up to you to find out if I'm right or not.
Life is complicated, because people are complicated and one answer does not necessarily fit all, but that doesn't mean you should not consider what I say as a possibility.
Feel free to write me personally if you wish, there is only so much you can say in such a restrictive environment as this site is, it doesn't allow for proper conversation.
Thank you for coming to my column and giving me the chance to help.
E-mail: gibber@cableone.net
Gender: Male
Location: Minnesota
Age: 53
Member Since: May 14, 2008
Answers: 285
Last Update: March 27, 2013
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okay...soo there is this boy that i have never met but might be interested in dating, or just hanging out. But there are some problems...
-he has a girlfriend
-my lil brothers 16 year old friend
-my brother thinks i can do better
i know that if he still has a girlfriend then i wont go anywhere near him. But i just dont know..i have feelings sometimes like i like him, but then other times im just like you cant like him you dont know him...so what do you think is going on....
16/f (link)
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I think you like him and would like to get to know him better, it's pretty much that simple. The question is not about that though, it's about HER, isn't it? Well, fact is, it comes down to the old saying, all is fair in love and war. I'm not sure about war any more, but for love it is. Thing is, you didn't necessarily say you wanted him for a boy friend, in fact you say your unsure. That is actually a good place to be, you should always start off that way.
Sometimes it doesn't take a lot of contact to realize you like someone, it can be the way they hold themselves, the way they act with others, or just their smile. Start talking with him when you get the chance, expect nothing, just get to know him casually and let him get to know you too.
Male female contact does not always have to be about, "I like you and I want you to be my boy friend." That actually puts a lot of unneeded pressure on a person, the nature of relationships is to start at the bottom and work up, not at the middle and try to work up. To often they end up going down and you've already made a commitment.
Commitments are a harder thing to break then friendships, if you find out the person is wrong for you. Don't be afraid to go a little slower, always start at the bottom and work up, don't skip steps.
Tell your brother you just want to get to know him and you said you liked him, not that you wanted to marry him and have his children. Tell him if he starts anything, he better check between his bed sheets every night for nasty crawly things.
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Rating: 5
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I absolutely LOVE your advice. It helps me so much with everything i am going through...thank you so much! i am mostly friends with boys because i get along with them better...and i love the nasty crawly things too haha
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