Q: 20/f
So...I dated this guy for awhile in my freshman year (of college. I'm now a senior), and we're still very close. Well, we were. At one point I felt like no one knew me the way he did, and he felt the same way about me. We called each other our best friends, never referred to each other as exes and hung out for days on end, sometimes, and at the last day wouldn't want to part ways. He'd stay the night with me and cuddle me in his sleep, too. We broke up because the timing was just...bad. He couldn't handle what he was feeling for me, and I was freaked too, but instead of running I wanted to stick it out. He's a commitmentphobe, and he just wasn't ready to be in a steady relationship. He never cheated on me, though. I don't resent him for ending things, and I've forgiven him for the damage he caused.
He was my closest friend for so long, and all of a sudden I feel like he's pulling away from me, even though we've been hanging out more lately. He used to include me in everything he did with his friends, but last night he was gonna watch the basketball game with a couple of them. I was there 'cause we'd been hanging out before, and he was like "You can go if you want, ***'s gonna be here any minute."
Which is his way of trying to be nice about asking me to leave. So I responded, "I kinda wanted to watch the game...unless you just wanted to hang out with ***."
He said, "I kinda did, but I mean you can stay if you want."
So I took that as my cue to leave, put on my shoes, and walked out. I told him "Don't worry about it, I'll go home and do some artwork." (I wound up just watching the game alone) 'Cause I didn't want him to feel bad, or anything. He's entitled to want a boys' night as much as I am to want a girls' night.
I feel like I have to push and push to get him to hang out with me, when he used to call me every chance he got, just to say hi. He went to Vegas with his family over the summer, and called me five or six times a day because he missed me.
I don't get what happened. We didn't have any fights or anything, so I'm just...confused.
Not only that, but for god knows what reason, I really miss being with him. Our relationship pretty much sucked, and I haven't actually missed him in a really long time. I just keep thinking about how safe I felt in his arms, how I never felt the way about anyone that I did about him...still do...I don't know what's going on.
I guess I'm just kinda asking for some feedback.
