I am a father of three, girl, boy, girl, all are now over 18. I have been married for 29 years as of 6-30-07, so yes, if you do the math I was married at 18, just after graduating high school. I am very aware of the pit falls of doing so, but we made it through the really tough times. I came to this site, because of my daughter, she also uses the site.
I am an author and have written three books, only one under this name, but it is not how I make my living. I am in business, working full time and I have a seasonal business in ponds, selling Koi, goldfish, water plants and supplies. I help people to plan and build ponds, as well as, maintenance if they need it.
I am not here for the ratings and could careless what you rate me. I will tell you things I know, I will tell you what you don't want to hear, but most of all, I will tell you things from my perspective. I have experienced a lot in my life, I have not lived with my head in the sand and I'm a realist, you want someone to blow smoke up your as*, don't read my writings, (I don't do fairy tales).
I am not so foolish as to think I am always right, I can only tell you what I know and give you something to think about. It is up to you to find out if I'm right or not.
Life is complicated, because people are complicated and one answer does not necessarily fit all, but that doesn't mean you should not consider what I say as a possibility.
Feel free to write me personally if you wish, there is only so much you can say in such a restrictive environment as this site is, it doesn't allow for proper conversation.
Thank you for coming to my column and giving me the chance to help.
E-mail: gibber@cableone.net
Gender: Male
Location: Minnesota
Age: 53
Member Since: May 14, 2008
Answers: 285
Last Update: March 27, 2013
Visitors: 27009
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ok this is my situation that i need solved:
so the other day i was coming home from kick boxing class and my mum calls and says they are near the area... so knowing that my dad is with them i didn't want to bump into them because i was dressed in a tight v cut tshirt and jeans (sometimes he freaks out when he sees my collar bones and arms and starts calling me names like slut and slapping me around but at others he is completely okay) a couple of blocks farther down the road is a place where me and my sister wanted to take drawing lessons so i went to the store to register but the lady says that they have no space so i ended up going back in the direction where i came from (towards the boxing studio and home) on my way back i saw my dad and sister who is a serious bitch when it comes to me... she gives me this dirty look and says "i thought you were going home" and i freaked out because of my shirt and dad and i said ah ah well i was going to where you were going! anyway it showed i was lying through my teeth... i don't know why i didn't say i was going to the drawing place and my sister knew i was going to register for it...its just that i said to mum that i was going home and i know that bugged her.... wen my dad wasn't listening i explained to her that i panicked because of my shirt and she says yeah right i don't believe you... i am worried that she may come up with some bazaar story and put me in trouble again!
Some background on the spawn of satan:
when dad asks all she says is i don't knw with a suggestive tone as though i am out drinking but she doesn't want to be part of it....last year she did the same thing and went and told my parents (since she's such a goody gooder) after practically making them worried sick repeating "i don't know ask her".....i snuk out at 7pm and got home at 9 my curfew is at 530 ... we only went for a walk near school where there was still people practicing and stuff....and i got in so much trouble ... since then i backed away from any friends isolated myself completely ... spend most of my time home and barely ever go out....(no i am not with my friends not because they didn't understand its a long story) and so now i have no one and i am trying to make the most out of it and she keeps ruining it! what does she want from me? i mean she is putting us both in trouble (when she says she gets slapped around too ...) and it's not like am prostituting or buying drugs or anything... its so hard when you are presumed guilty before you even do anything!! help me please... i don't want to wear extremely modest clothe and its not like i'm wearing very revealing a-la-paris style clothing!
helpppppppppppp i am suffocating... and please please don't tell me talk to my parents (my mum is scared of my dad about clothing... my dad will kill me if i try to reason) or my sister... first she is so defensive and is wiling to receive no help from others let alone their opinions or feelings... she never doesn't anything besides stay at home so that she avoid my parent's guilt trip... and she is beyond mean she'll say things that really hurt and she won't allow you to tell her anything by blocking it... (link)
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There is just no pleasing some people, I will spare you the stories of my step father. You should reconsider your stance on clothes until you are old enough to move out and detach yourself from him. Kids often feel suffocated by having to live under their parents rule. I consider this a good thing, otherwise they would never move out on their own.
Lying comes out of necessity, I know, I could never have gotten out of my teen years alive had I not. Trouble is, you are making it harder on yourself then you have to be. Cover up for your dads sake, I don't want to bring this up, but I will. You must consider that maybe, somewhere deep down inside, you may actually be turning your own father on wearing these things, ya, ewwwwwwwwww, and that is why he doesn't like it, because you are not suppose to be turned on by your own daughter. You know better then to repeat that to anyone I hope. The other option is that he finds something about the way you are dressing as disgusting, your collar bone perhaps and he considers this as an affront to his perceived image.
In answer to your follow up question:
Sweetheart, don't get out, get smart. You think that your father, mother and sister are unique to this world? Do you think that you will never run into people like them? Your being silly if you think so.
We are all put on this earth to help each other learn and grow, do you think yourself so worthless that you have nothing to teach them. Sometimes your children have the most to teach you, but many parents can't believe that someone younger then them could teach them anything. The thing they don't know is, that the age of the spirit, (or soul if you prefer), inside you could be older then theirs.
This is where you have to be smart, you have to teach them without appearing to teach them. One person can be the calming force in a room of angry people, learn to act on a situation, instead of reacting to a situation.
You are reacting to your fathers wish that you dress in what he considers an appropriate way, with rebellion, not with understanding. Act upon it by doing as he wishes until you are old enough to move out of his house. Understanding that people are not perfect, some even less so, puts them in a whole new light. Learn to look at them with your spirit, not your eyes.
These types of people will be apart of your life in one form or another all your life, learn to deal with them, not alienate them. Live your life in a way that teaches them how to live theirs, not forces them. In the end it may make them a better person, but some people are beyond help, trouble is, you never know who is and who is not until you try.
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Rating: 5
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i admit i am shocked... and i can't help but feel disgusted by him right now but i don't know why he's doing it.... i never wear shorts if i am wearing such a tshirt and vice versa... i don't know what to do! how do i get out?
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